Husky eyes
They stared at me
Like a terror in the night
I'm being terrified

Soundwaves get so low
To where creatures howl
The thread inkling looks to thin
Cells explode to their looks within

Bluff, puff, ****** eyes
Don't stare at me
I can get no sleep
Please let go of me

I've been lost for most of my life, every wrong step taken in the dark, every turn and twist; tripped over my shoelaces many times and just in constant fear of things. I'm scared that nothing I could do for you ever goes right, I want to tell you I love you face to face, under the light of a million stars. I want to hold your hands, watch as the path we take fill with the indents of our footsteps. I want to kiss you under the moonlight, let you know that with the power of us combined, everything will be alright. I want so much for everything to work out, but sometimes reality is a bit different. What I'm really scared of the most now is, that I might not be the knight in pink armour you were expecting and I might fall short. I wish so hard I could be that perfect guy for you, the right one for you, but what if I'm not. There's no words I could describe you, except that you have a soul I would cross mountains, swallow razor blades for. I'd let myself bleed out if it meant that my blood could somehow make you happy. I'd give anything for you, I just hope that you realise that. You are the best person in my life. I love you so much and just the thought of you leaving, it's a bit of a heartbreaker in itself, tear inducing, heart hurting, stomach churning, blood boiling, bruise causing thought. I don't know how that three word could ever measure up, heck it might not ever measure up to how I really feel. I love you. I just love you so so much. In the same time, I'm scared when I finally tell you, you won't stay.The thought itself is killing me. Babe, there's nothing in this world that you don't deserve. You are the epitome of caring souls, kindness, beauty and much more. I just hope that this message reaches you and that no matter what happens, there's a loser who will love you with all his heart. You showed me what true love is, and in return I hope you'll give me the chance to show you the world, to show you how I see you, because in my eyes , you are everything. You are the breath of fresh air, to the light of the night stars. I love you princess, your weakling loser.....

You are the reason my heart beats. You are everything. You are the sounds of my heartbeat and you are the only thing I want to see between each blink.

I'm six years old. I'm six years old and my favourite colour is green because it's the colour of my eyes and I think my eyes are the prettiest things I have ever seen.

I'm eight years old. I'm eight years old and I had a nightmare so bad I felt like my eyes were deceiving me. My favourite colour is now the same pale blue as my Mum's floral bedsheets because they make me feel safe.

I'm ten years old now. I'm ten years old and I'm a big girl because I'm allowed to walk to school with my friend instead of my Mum. We walk past fields of buttercups and other pretty flowers but my new favourite colour is the peach of the rose in my front garden.

I'm twelve years old. I'm twelve years old and I can't stand the colour green anymore because the meaner people in my school decided my self worth was less important than their jokes. I don't have a favourite colour anymore, but if you ask I'll say it's purple.

I'm fourteen years old. I'm fourteen which means I've been a teenager for a year and I still can't stand the colour green. My Mum let me dye my hair for the first time and now it is red and red is my favourite colour, but if you asked I would still tell you it's purple.

I'm sixteen now. I'm sixteen and I think I know everything, I met a boy that I like for the first time, my Mum doesn't know, but I think he makes the colour green a bit easier to look at because he told me he loves my eyes and that they are the most beautiful things he has ever seen. He gave me a pair of rose tinted glasses and I'm not quite sure why, but for now my favourite colour is the deep brown of his eyes but if anyone asks, my favourite colour is still purple.

I'm eighteen now. I'm eighteen and I can finally drink without it being illegal, and I have started drinking to forget everything except the colour of my Mum's pale blue floral bedsheets, the peach of the rose in my front garden, the bright red of my hair and the green of my eyes but most of all I'm drinking to forget the purple of the bruises that litter my skin, the purple that I always insisted was my favourite colour for reasons unknown to me.

I should be twenty years old now, and my favourite colour should be the orange of the sunset, the pink of the sunrise or maybe even the yellow of the buttercups in the fields I used to walk past on my way to school, but I did not make it to twenty years old. My favourite colour was never purple and I never asked for my skin to be constantly tainted that way, but you made sure I never healed and now my Mum is laying purple flowers on my grave and she's wishing she fought more to get my favourite colour to be green again like when I was six years old and in love with myself and the world around me, because if I still loved the innocent green then maybe I wouldn't be suffering my greatest nightmare as a child with the only comfort being tucked up in the seemingly endless sea of brown. I always tricked myself and everyone else into thinking things were perfect with rose tinted glasses but the lenses shattered and the last flower you laid on my grave was the peach coloured rose from my front garden, and now the petals have wilted and all of the colour has been drained from me but this new world has more hues than I could have ever dreamed of.

We all*  like to blame society

How *disgusting is society today
How is society so Judgemental , so pressuring and dangerous

We act like society is some isolated terror organization of some people
That have no affinity to us or to the rest of the world

And we tend to forget
We
Are
*Society

I'm sitting at my bed
Thinking about you
And about how you didn't answer my calls
Or opened the door when i was knocking constantly
Or how your mom told me to stop to call


I'm just worried,
Really really worried
And i have this weird intuition
That something bad happened,
But i just really really hope
That i am wrong

And i hope
That right now
You're smiling
Or laughing
*Laughing will be good too

If you'd look down on your body
And see only bruises and scars
You're not alone, don't worry,
You're not the only shooting star.

I've not painted myself,
With things as black as yours;
But, mind you, I've been as dark as thyself,
And I've been in too many horrors.

I've not blame you for the blade you've held,
But I feel your grief, and this I'd tell;
I've felt it before, your feelings compelled,
In a sea of regret, from cloud 9 you fell.

I've tried many times to drown my sorrow,
And watch blood of innocence drip through unwelcome wound,
And rise, another day, not as hollow,
And plaster a smile as if I'm not doomed.

Today, I regret ever letting my demons run
Even though they'd pushed me to write;
I'd say to you "Be strong! Bask another sun!"
And let your demons help you in the fight!

Just know that one even from across the oceans,
Would like to see you stand;
Would like to see you trump your omens
And lend a helping hand.

If you'd be switched over,
I'd help you back up again.
Even if I can't go sooner or later,
At least with the words that came from my pen.

I hope you'd read this,
Even out of the boon,
Even if you'd not find bliss,
**Together, let's sing our battle tune!