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Uzziah Ruffin Jun 22
Please, do not gaze
Upon the stories carved in my skin
Each line, a silent echo
Of torment etched within.

Please, do not pry
Into the vault of memories I bear,
For truth, when stripped of mercy,
Is but a dream that vanishes in air.

Please, do not weep
When I smile and claim I'm whole,
As I swallow quiet doses
To still the storms inside my soul.

Please, do not tremble
When my heavy eyes begin to close
Sleep does not cradle me
It only deepens what sorrow sows.

Please, do not attempt
To map the silence I contain,
For the feelings once ablaze in me
Have frozen into pain.

So I beg of you
Do not question this quiet affliction.
I am not broken beyond repair,
Just adrift in a lonely fiction.
Everyday I take a step outside in full view of the public for their mockery, empathy, and ridicule due to scars that tell of a fate unsuitable for life
Uzziah Ruffin Jun 22
Sitting in silence,
As the hourglass spills its golden grains,
Etching quiet warnings upon the souls in denial
A whisper that time is no eternal friend.

A choice still lingers,
Unmade, like a shadow at dusk
While silver threads replace youthful strands.
Age has no doorway to escape through, and the sand does little to muffle the ache that resurfaces with each turning of the glass.

To look back is to face the wreckage,
To rebuild from embers we once chose to ignore.
But fear looms
Fear that old chains will return
Forged now in guilt, fear, and empathy
Elements far heavier than iron,
Stripping away the illusion of freedom.

A battle brews between vital organs
The heart pleads for what’s right,
The mind demands what’s wise.
Yet the line that once divided them
Fades like breath on glass,
Too blurred to tell apart.

How long can indecision linger
Before the choice is taken
From hands still warm with life?
This poem is a rather personal one for me. It's the consequences of being a SA victim and losing a entire family due to years of being silent and pretending that everything is fine just to keep branches on the family tree attached. But the place that was once called home was always looked at as a prison. The poem is about making the decision to go back into a life of isolated feelings and self destructive to have a family, or to stay free while the mind and the heart fight to tell you to make the right/smart decision
Uzziah Ruffin Mar 31
It drips, it teases, it moans my name,
A wicked desire I cannot tame.
Its scent seduces, deep and bold,
Luring me closer, my senses unfold.

Each bite lingers, slow and sweet,
Juicy, tender, pure carnal treat.
My lips embrace, my hunger sighs,
A pleasure so deep, it melts, it glides.

No wipes saves me, let it spill,
The taste, the heat, the aching thrill.
Tongue tracing every sinful trace,
Savoring each indulgent embrace.

And as the final drops dissolve,
A fizzy burst, ecstasy evolves.
A feast so perfect, craving no more,
Surrender to passion, give in, explore.

Choose wisely. Choose Wendy’s.
Uzziah Ruffin Mar 29
Nothing lingers in this space,
Walls infused with hollow white.
A place where dreams leave no trace,
Where stories fade before they ignite.

No scents to stir a drifting mind,
No whispers calling from the deep.
Nothing tempts the gaze to find
A path beyond the current’s sweep.

This room is still, no breath, no sound
A cough dissolves in heavy air.
No melody to wrap around,
My tongue lies mute in vacant prayer.

Yet in this white, one color clings,
A silent mark that dares remain.
Until doubt whispers, softly sings,
A gentle urge to shed, to change.

Remove the skin, you’ll be like us,
Unburdened, stripped of name and past.
A world so cruel, so stained with dust,
Welcomes those who fade at last.

Strip the color from your bones,
Join us in this hollow home.
There is a room that makes people go insane in real life known as a white room. There's places have shown that the removal of color drives patients insane. They would have people placed inside the room for days with only meals only being white. This is what this poem is about.
Uzziah Ruffin Mar 27
Don’t leave me alone
I can’t even feel my heartbeat anymore.
I see it in your eyes, the hesitation,
But please, don’t go. I’m slipping, panicking.

I know you need something I can’t give,
Something buried too deep to reach.
You turn away, reluctant to look,
Afraid of what you’ll see in me.

I sink to my knees, too tired to fight,
Sleep won’t come, but death is near.
He stands at my door, key in hand,
Waiting. patient. certain.

Fear wraps me in riddles,
But I know I’m still here,
Still grasping for one last moment
Just for tonight, will you hold my hand?

One last time, whisper your goodbyes.
I've let go of a lot of family over there years. I was so afraid to visit each and everyone them. I couldn't grasp the thought of having to say goodbye, so I lived in willful ignorance. Living in a world where the rule "out of sight, out of mind" was created. I was fullest, and I wished I would have said goodbye to them.

This poem is dedicated to the father that raised me better than my biological father, the grandmother who made the world feel at peace, the grandfather who taught me how to survive, and the cat that gave me hope that I could become better. I love you all so much, and there's isn't a day I don't think about you all.
Calling out  
To the stars on a solemn night  
Weaving whispers  
Through the shadows that shun the light  
One truth  
I remind myself each day: "Hold on tight"  
Yet still I yearn to ask what’s right?  

Calm stillness  
While the flames dance all around me  
Just a breath  
Before I tumble to my knees  
A sudden quake  
The chaos swells but somehow feels so bright  
For this is my fight  

Shattered another wall, yet it still stands tall  
Scaled the highest peak, yet I’m destined to fall  
Spin me another tale so I can piece my heart together  
It’s like shifting the weather  

All the love that slipped through left me frail and meek  
Heavy clouds, vacant stares, I find it hard to speak  
Just a thread, just to weave my soul back together  
Is like changing the weather  

When all is lost  
Will I ever be found?  
On this trembling ground  
Will you hear the sound  
Of the me that drifts, never to be found?  

For it all feels  
Like changing the weather.
Uzziah Ruffin Sep 2024
Where are the footprints in the sand
Now claimed by the relentless tide
Once marking where we both stood
But now, swept away they reside

Where is the promise once so bold
Now feeling like a cruel jest
You vowed to stay by my side
But now, I'm left to carry the rest

Through endless nights, I lie awake
Watching the unchanging moon's light
But when dawn broke, you were gone
And my faith began to take flight

Why does the light favor the blind
And elude those who've blindly follow
No matter how much I pray for a sign
I've always been left to feel hollow

Will those prints upon the shore return
If I'm finding my faith among the breath of pills
Each testament now shrouded in disbelief
As life descends a never-ending hill

The whispers of hope fade into the abyss
Leaving scars of doubt upon my soul
Searching for faith in the drugs I misuse
The waves of despair take their toll
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