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 May 20 Emilia
Twisted Poet
I used to think blue eyes were pretty,
his were not.
his were not cornflower, sapphire, baby, indigo, azure,
or cloudy sky blue.
His were midnight where the light pollution from the city blocks the stars.
Iceberg, squall, hypothermia, eventual death
 May 19 Emilia
PhantomSavage
I
Dont
Understand
Life
I
Dont
Understand
Myself
I
Don't
Understand
Anything
I
Don'­t
Understand
Please
Help
Me
Understand
How
To
Survive
The
Calm
Af­ter
The
Storm
After
So
Long
Living
In
The
Hurricane
I don’t have myself in me
My insides are hollow and dull
My mind is foggy gray
And my heart is a darkened ash

I don’t have poetry in me
My words have run dry
My language has lost its depth
And I can’t find how to end this stanza
Grey curl of smoke leaves my mouth,
Ashes scrape my throat.
I won´t play it wrong-
Trying to appear strong.

There´s no fire-
Just  the path to end this.
Gladly, I´d be your player,
Between us, fire burns.

Smoke would hiss.
It started-
With lit cigarette.
My first try at reverse poem
13/5/25
 May 14 Emilia
Gabbro
☐ Learn to play an instrument
☑ See the pyramids
☐ See the northern lights
☑ Have my first kiss
☑ Graduate High School
☐ Ride in a hot air balloon
☑ Fall in love
☑ Nap together
☑ Cook dinner together
☑ Try shrooms
☐ Make him breakfast in bed
☑ Build a snowman
☐ Couples dancing lessons
☑ Go camping together
☐ Make love in a blanket fort
☐ Go backpacking together
☑ Celebrate an Anniversary
☐ Kiss in the rain
☑ Watch a meteor shower together
☐ Take a spontaneous road trip together
☒ Make it work
☐ Have a new year’s kiss
☐ Earn his forgiveness
☐ Start a garden
☐ Raise a dog
☐ Raise a cat
☐ Share a house
☐ Make a home
☐ Plant a tree
☐ Get married
☐ Build a bookshelf by hand
☐ Slow dance in the kitchen
☐ Write a book
☐ Be a family
☑ Choose him again
☑ and again
☐ Be chosen back
For T
My silence isn’t voluntary
And my tears aren’t a choice

I don’t cover my ears for attention
And it’s not that I’ve lost my voice

There’s millions of words running laps in my head
And my hearts pumping for a marathon

My medullas pumping epinephrine
And box breathing can’t get past one

And you’re staring straight at me
And blaming me for being dramatic and weak

I really wish I could do this,
I’m sorry I’m like this
I swear I didn’t choose to be like this,
I’m sorry I can’t just ******* speak.
My therapist gets mad when I can’t talk in sessions because I literally just shut down every time… which prevents me from talking.
Same thing with my parents every time they confront me.
Hahh so fun.
I'm so tired of being tired.
Just let me go to sleep, please.
I've been working
working
working
My whole ******* life,
And for what?
For some stupid praise?
A degree - the same as everyone else that didn't **** themselves over this and instead lived out their lives?

Don't you know,
I don't envision myself as anything in the future.
I get a little sad when I hear people talk about theirs, because I see that they're practically already there.
In their mind, their heart.
They've got that something, keeping me going.

What do I have?
Nothing.
I am nothing.
I don't dream,
Because I don't sleep.
And because I don't sleep,
I am tired.

I am tired.
I am so ******* tired.
And I'm too old to get tucked in by my mom with a bedtime story,
So here I am, writing bedtime poetry and biology notes.

(It all really doesn't matter in the end.)
Doing this in the middle of studying for a biology digestion test. Did you know that we can eat horizontally or upside down because of peristalsis, where muscle contractions in the esophagus contract and relax to get food boluses down?
Yeah, I don't give a **** either.
 May 14 Emilia
neth jones
...love is hunter sick nerves you enter dream love is puncture it is green with life lush and suffering and kitchen frot and menial wreck and the reburn of childhood excite a spell and sale of a mental thing and incompletely rheumy-tunes...
 May 13 Emilia
jules
You touched me,
and I remembered how stars bleed
before they die.
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