I think you might be gay
But I accept you as you are
So if you ever come out
I will be here with open arms

Everything was dry
The ground rock hard as my shovel dug
The leaves around me wilting from the heat
It hasn't rained for weeks
But still I scrapped at the ground
Making my hole bigger and bigger
I remembered how your hands would touch me
How you were fake when people were looking
How behind closed doors you were the monster
That everyone thought was make believe
From age six til now you were there
Turning everything I was into a nightmare.
I kept digging
You stunk beside me
A stink that would make people cringe
To me I was used to it.
My shovel scrapped loudly on rocks beside my blue house
Just big enough
The hole was
You fell in with a thump
But I knew no one would help you get out
As shovel upon shovel fell on you
I thought about how you would be remembered
With the last shovel full
I thought
You will be remembered as the man who went missing.

Each note
Rang into my brain
Making everything feel
B l u r r y
Each song you played
Meant more in the words you sang
So I listened
Knowing they were sang for a girl
Who wasn't
M e

The sickness
I purged you out
Like a demon
Finger down my throat
Feeling like a sinner
The toilet my only friend
In my moment of darkness
The demons inside
Screaming as I purged them out
The pain
But feeling great
The secrets hid of what I did
Feeling thinner but like a sinner
But a sinner I am
With a head full of demons
Telling me to purge again
Because I will never be thin enough
Ribs sticking out
I will never be thin enough
Until I am dead
And in the end
My demons will win
I already know this
But still I sin
Because I am a sinner
So here I will purge
Away the sin
Down the drain
Into pipes who hide my secrets
That no one knows

I am always sleepy
Never really breathing
Freaking out
When I see other sides of me
No one knows who I am
Never really seeing
That fake smile
Set so easy
Trips you up
Into believing
My eyes way to heavy
Never wanting to wake me
My dreams full of make believe
Leave me wanting more than anything
You only see me
Never really believe me
But sometime soon
You will notice
I am not who you think is me