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 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Star BG
Poems are spiritual food, cooked in the heart
and served on a platter-like screen.
A feast for a readers eyes and mind.

Poems are golden words, that give insight,
into the intricacies of a human existence.
It’s the platform that keeps a creative mind focused.

Poems are words that spiral with force from heart
and is the fuel that spins a web of light.
It gives phases a place to call home.

Poems are the gift a writer gives,
to all who come to their table.

StarBG © 2017
 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Jawad
When a bullet enters the ear
But doesn’t ****

When a boy runs
On the fence
And doesn’t fall
Except for once
Which by sheer chance
Was just the first
Not second floor

When a man defies
Some unjust rules
Deciding to jump
Of the roof
But doesn’t die
And only breaks
A single leg

When a lady gets
Almost hundred
But rarely cries
Despite sorrows
And much demise

When a child injures
One of his eyes
But still can see
And jump and play
Like it should be

When young man rides
A motorbike
Is hit by car
Hard from behind
And yet survives
With a few scares

When scorpion
Does make its mind
To live with me
Just walking bye
So many nights
While I’m asleep
Without a sting

I call this luck
And all blessings
Poured over me
And family...
In my home country Iraq, its really a miracle to survive, not only because of terrorism and war, but also because life is hectic and full of danger, and people behave so recklessly. Here are some horrible things that happened to members of my family, but because they were lucky and blessed, they got away with it. That includes me.

- A ‘cold bullet’ (a bullet fired in the air somewhere far away) went into the ear of one of my cousins, entering in a very strange angle and stopping right next to the spinal cord in his neck but he survived; today, he is blessed with a beautiful family of his own, and the bullet is still ‘there’, because doctors refused to operate so close next to the spinal cord. But thankfully, its not moving!  
- Another cousin used to walk, or sometimes run(!!) on the fences surrounding the roof of my grandparents two story house. In Iraq, roofs are flat and have fences. So he always got away with running on the fences of the second floor. But once he did it on the veranda fence of the first floor and fell. He still got away with some minor injuries but up to this day, he is in love with hight...
- One of my uncles jumped from the roof because he was chased by the military police who wanted to arrest him for refusing to join Saddam’s unjust war against our neighbour country Kuwait. He ended up with a broken leg, but sadly had to join the war, nevertheless. Thankfully, he neither killed nor took part in the organised looting that Saddam’s army organised in Kuwait after the invasion.
- My grandma, despite so much difficulties, death, and hurt got almost hundred years old. Her exact age is not possible to determine because her birthday wasn’t accurate; people at that time just wrote something. She has witnessed the death of my grandpa and 4 of her children, one of her grandchildren, in addition to several miscarriages. My grandfather died in the 80's. She had a son who was burned to death by some crazy kids in the neighbourhood. One of her daughters also died because she was exposed to chemical weapons Saddam used against the opposition in the north of Iraq in the 80's. Her eldest son died at the age of 82, one year before she did, and before him her second eldest son, who got cancer. Her grandchild, who loved her a lot, was arrested by Saddam's secret police and was tortured to death. Nevertheless, I’ve never seen her cry, not once in my life. Maybe tear once or twice, but never cry. She was always witty and positive and full of energy...Sadly, she got Alzheimer and fell, breaking her hipbone, and eventually died after almost one year in bed. A really brave woman.
- One of the children of my cousin got stabbed with a pen in his eye by his brother, and although the procedure used to deal with the accident was wrong, he still is able to see without any problems.
- Another cousin of mine, while driving a motorbike, was hit by a car from behind and although landing on his face hitting the sidewalk, while not wearing a helmet, he miraculously survived with only a few minor scares in his face.
- I had a scorpion living for months in my room. I always kept hearing something moving somewhere, suspecting it to be a mouse or a lizard. And sometimes I notices something dark moving but thought that my eyes were playing tricks with me. However for some reasons I didn't take it serious. But after leaving, my mother found a 4 inch black scorpion in my room, which she killed with a shoe, like a champ...
- That is only a sample of how much luck and blessings my family has witnessed. I would have added how I survived death by explosion twice, and how my sister did also survive one of the bloodiest sucide attacks in Iraq, targeting her college. But for some reason she didn't go to school at the day of the attack. But I had difficulties fitting all that into one poem. I think what is mentioned is enough action for one poem. :-)
 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Tomwales
For a lifetime, we have waited for that moment, to behold the deepest deep of wisdom

For a lifetime, the seas, stars and the moon obeyed the rhythm

For a lifetime, years passed, we toiled for what seems to be or not

For a lifetime, we rest without delay

For a lifetime, we crushed our feelings; shouldn’t we let the emotions speak?

For a lifetime, being lost for words, verses become divine

For a lifetime, shall we say our prayers?

For a lifetime, we heed to advice, yet we still defy

For a lifetime, we have passed the tunnel of ages, against the odds of time

For a lifetime, have nature surmounted to the heels of mankind, yet its triumphs

For a lifetime, shall we reconcile?

For a lifetime, we sober for lost thoughts, yet laughter seize our pleasured moments

For a lifetime, we cheer for the happy times, thus the tides continues to change

For a lifetime, we endured the groans of existence, but we always prevail

For a lifetime, wishes come true, hopes are revived

For a lifetime, we are on a timeline
 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Garry
You were the light
at the end of my tunnel;
The rest at the end of my day
and I thought I'd have forever
to say the words I'd like to say.

But life moves on
And time goes by.
People change
and feelings die.

Now my tunnels have no ending
my days end in an empty bed
and I sit alone surrounded
by the words I never said.
Sadness never knocks at my door, after all - she sleeps on my floor
Though we live together, I feel we’re worlds apart

She teases me with her presence, but we rarely embrace
For her companionship I offer my time and tears, but this isn’t her fee

When I come near, she lingers for a moment but then she flees
I’m mesmerized by her allure, an attraction that seems improper

So I play a song that oft we danced unto, one in which we cried together
And for a moment she’s swept into my arms, but she tells me “we can’t go that far.”

I fear she may leave and never return,
Alone I’d live with my stony heart
From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Sana
QH250417
 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Sana
I thought of you tonight
I think of you forever
I'll hold you dear in my head
and care for you in silence
For now you cannot see
And so much you refuse to be
Of so much you could become
And so much I see you in you
I know best that you are not
Anyone with special traits
Much more than less
A human out of its shape
What you learned you can leave
If only by rage you decide
Tonight is yet again
A reminiscence
Of what is past and gone
I'll keep you close in sleep
Reach your humanity in thoughts
  
Qu'un jour je t'atteigne
              Que par tendresse
           *Tu te trouves
I have some good memories of you
From when I was younger.

I remember the times
You'd bring me fishing,
You taught me how to cast.
I'd always hoped to catch
A fish as big as a shark.


I remember how you'd
Always make me laugh.
Especially when you'd start
Laughing really hard because
Your laugh is contagious.

I remember being called
"Daddy's little girl" because
I'd always wanna be with you.

And I remember wanting to go to
The bar with you when you went.

The bar,
Where you'd go to drink
And occasionally smoke cigarettes with friends.


I didn't understand it back then.


But now,
I have new memories of you.


I remember the times where
I was terrified to die
While you were behind the wheel.
When you accelerated faster on the highway,
I'd laugh in fear as I held in the tears
And prayed to God to get home safe.
Then you'd swerve.
Sometimes purposely for fun,
Sometimes just because you're drunk.


I remember the time
You fell backwards onto the floor
Because you were so drunk
That you couldn't even keep your balance.
You could've fallen down the stairs
Which was just in the other direction.
I could've lost you that day.


I remember the time you
Smoked **** inside a friends car outside the bar
During my confirmation party last year.


I remember those two Christmases
And those two birthdays that
You ruined for me two years in a row.


I remember the time when
You blurted out to my godfather that
I had cut and starved myself as if it were a news story.
Did you ever stop and think that
Maybe you're part of the reason why I did it?


I remember the time
You grabbed a trash bag and
Started to put all your clothes in it
While threatening to leave.
But It's like you're never there anyways
So what's the difference?


Then last night you said something to me
That tore my heart into pieces as if it were paper.
You were mad at Mom for something
That was most likely your fault.
You said,
“I'm gonna save up all my money
And to hell with her!”


Then I did the same thing as always.
Go into my room.
Close the door and lock it.
Turn up the music.
And cry.


Sometimes I’d wish I was a child again
Just so I wouldn't be able to understand,
So it wouldn't hurt as bad.


You know,
You said you'd die at 40 but look, you're 41.
So maybe that's God giving you a chance to change.
But God has given you too many chances,
I have given you too many chances,
We have all given you way too many chances.


A part of me wants you to know that I wrote this
So you could maybe realise how much it hurts.
But the other part of me knows that
You'll just look away and laugh
Like it doesn't mean anything.


Just like you always do.


-Cynthia Medeiros
 Apr 2017 Susan Jacob
Paige
you want to be okay. but everything inside of you is telling you that you aren't. that you can't be. you feel trapped; like who you are is who you'll always be. there's no chance for you. you're stuck in your own head. you talk but only hear your own thoughts being spoken back to you. all of your fears running through your head. stuck inside your head. stuck inside your head. you're stuck inside your head.
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