the first time i broke a boy’s heart
i cried as i watched his love bleed for me
it poured out into my hands and still sticks to my hair this day
i smell its death in the wind

now, i break hearts with no pain, no remorse
i watch the light flee from their eyes and i no longer cry
what it’s like to be me?

feel nothing
create chaos
feel nothing

We clashed like the stars
in the galaxy and
became one.
- black dwarf.

I want to write that in front of every achievement
I want to write it at the head of every poem I write

And I don’t think I will be able to create anything
At least, nothing I am proud of
Without an asterisk explaining
This is my depression work

For depression affects everything
Infects everything
Dims my worldview and
Makes me irrational, hypocritical and
Turns me into someone I am ashamed to be

Depression takes away half of my once-brilliant mind
It leeches off my creativity
Drains the enchanting, poetic optimism inside me
Until everything I think, everything I create, everything I am
Disgusts me

So
Just as a reminder
This is my depression work

never sin before a mirror,
for it will never forget
no matter if it's no big deal
or your greatest regret.
it won't shame you,
it won't hurt you,
it won't blackmail you, nor bribe
but if a mirror knows a secret,
you’re as good as dead inside.

sway
with the trees
swirl
in the breeze

burn
with the sky
ask
the stars why

sing
with the rain
feel
the earth's pain

"I'm an open book"
She says

Written in
code.

to me,
you are
an art

                              to you,
                              I was
                              a tragedy