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Someone who is depressed or has a "mental disorder", likely won't reach out because of the enormous feeling of helplessness/ hopelessness. Reaching out not only seems pointless, but it also announces to the world that there is something wrong with you; and with depression/drug use, that is the root. Feeling like there is something so wrong that it cannot be fixed.. so why announce it, why not just resolve it. Everyone's a judge these days, which honesty perpetuates that helplessness; why would anyone reach out just to be jestered and obtain the label you fear the most, mentally ill. I dont find myself ill, maybe in the heart. My mind, more like awake to the sickness of the world. Even in my own personal relationships, what should be is not, and what is there should not be. Tension, isolation, judgment, disrespect.. the world is full of it yet not many practice the virtues necessary to have a world they claim to want.. there is no peace, and with so much egotism, i dont see a peaceful place to even lay my head. Turmoil will always be present when people expect more than what they give. My sadness comes from these truths, and knowing the only comfort are in lies and denial. Maybe i am ill. Maybe my reality is distorted from my extreme desire for connections in life i will never find. Maybe this void in me will never be filled and i should just accept it like everyone else seems to be doing. With things and stuff, ranks and class, gossip and judgments, with superficial carrots just to distract me long enough for age to creep in and end it for me..
"You look fine to me"
The problem with depression,
Unnoticeable.
If I could walk, I’d march with
The black and civil rights folk.

If I could walk, I’d carry a baby
On my shoulders to let him see

The evil behind him, in front of
Him, across the street he plays in.

If I could walk, I’d wrap love in
A blanket and give it to an old lady.

I’d sell my car and make a
Bandage out of its metal.

I’d be in a parade right next to the
Pastor from down home.

If I could walk, my tears would
Dry up, and my gut, as tight

As steel, would scream, fighting
Against the hate in the world,

The empty hearts emptier by the
Day, the hopeful souls dried up.

I cannot walk, but I can sing, and
I will sing songs of praise and

Melodies of strength and support
For those who hurt and whose

Eyes and ears are numb with
Grief and pain and chaos.

I cannot walk, but I can protest
Against betrayal and lies and

Corruption and bloodshed,
And protest I will.

© Lewis Bosworth, 8-2017
People always tell you to "face your fears"

And everyday that our hands collide,
You hug me close to your chest so tight I can smell nothing but your expensive cologne I got you for Christmas,
Trusting you with my laughs,
My honesty,
My love.

It's the biggest thing I'm scared of because loving  you is my greatest fear. How do you know you are driving off the cliff on a foggy morning? You fall.

And now I feel like I'm falling so abruptly, and I won't be able to get up.

Cause when you finally break my heart I won't even have enough heart to tell myself " i   T  o  l d    Y  o   U  S   O "
smokin' 100s "just to get a break"
well what do you do, if you
feel the love is fake?
get up and go, away from the smoke,
can't your eyes see that it's why
you choke?


while you are sleeping,
with your addicted little head,
my hobby became weeping,
while you slept in your bed.
so dont be alarmed if one day i'm gone,
because it was up to you,
you've done it all wrong.
O.K
 Jul 2017 Somebody Nobody
olivia
keep going
keep going
keep going
 Jul 2017 Somebody Nobody
Zaynub
i started sleeping when i met you
*tell me a love story*
From the moment we
Met, I knew it was you who
Would repair my heart
Currently we judge,
Looking at angles to win
Just to please your own mind.

We throw insults and we fight,
We ignite fuel to our fingers
Tapping away like it's a race for popularity.

The world spins and spins,
Yet nothing really changes
Because we just keep spinning.

But it's as if we have weaved
Ourselves into a ditch of
Despairing linear paths.

As we watch, we listen, we observe
And try to become something else,
Something we're not supposed to be.

Just to let everyone know
That you watch the same things,
That you do the same things.

But then after it all we realise
As we grow older and as we mature,
We merely did nothing for ourselves.

We just followed the same road,
We followed the same destiny
And we lose ourselves in our journey.

At the end of it all we start to notice
We have taken the wrong path,
And the other roads are too far away.

So we turn into the side-roads,
Which lead to nothing but plagued floors
Broken doors and empty souls.

Mobiles have taken love out of ***,
Generations have missed out
How it feels to actually be connected.

You make love and your phone rings,
People stop to answer like your moments
Aren't precious enough with loved ones.

We eat meals at restaurants
With our families and friends,
All I see is arched necks and fiery fingers.

I wish I was in a time when we spoke
To one another about our days,
Not about a video that has gone viral.

I wish that as I grow and my children
Will walk amongst the earth I have,
It won't **** them into inevitable fates.

I don't want them to be another
White sheep hopping the same fence,
Like the rest of this miserable world.

Systems have taken individualism
Out of individuals and get labelled weird,
They give us titles like "OCD, ADHD".

I'm not either, and I don't actually have
A label to my name, yet I feel I should
I feel why shouldn't I?

After all I like to think different,
I like to think one day we will see
The clear glass in front of us.

But most of all, I truly hope one day,
We can become a better world
Instead of repetition in characters.
Just some quick thoughts I had on my brain. But this type of thing doesn't get spoken about enough. This may "offend" some, but I only speak in truths. My heart can only love so much until it gets stretched beyond its limit.
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