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one more for t.m.

her given name is not woman
but human of the feminine,
the fem in the human mine,
mine...

12:10am 4/16/17
You.
You know who you are.
I miss you more
than the moon misses the morning blood star.

I wish I had the courage to tell you
But I'll keep my distance stay afar
and be proud of who you are
The things you've done.
But I hope in years to come
If you see me alone
or with my family who's grown
To look at me with happy eyes and a smile corroding your face
And recall memories and begin to trace every detail like it was yesterday

Do you remember me?
Because I'll never forget you.
And I'll never replace you.
And it's hard to explain
this blood pumping through my veins whenever I hear your name.
I'll never be the same
after everything
We've been through
When I see you to this day
You
look at me like I'm a stranger
A shadow that fades away.
 Apr 2018 Heart of Silver
Jey Blu
sharp words
soft words
whats the difference
your gaze still cuts me like a dagger

im still trying to find myself after getting lost in your eyes
so long ago
for such a long time

you'll never know how many jagged edged pieces you left
when you tried to fix my broken heart

the sun still sets
and the birds still fly
but what's the point of it all when you're not here by my side

becoming yours was my favorite thing but also my worst regret
i just wanted to fix you and you just kept on breaking

what can i do
your eyes are an ocean
i should have known i would just drown

im left here sitting
on the wooden kitchen floor
fingers drumming
wish that we had meant more

the sky fades into orangey pink regret
the trees as oblivious to it as you were to me slowly dying

its too late to go outside
i miss you
its too late to fix this
its too late to save me
Mari
A wonderful girl,
with a heart of gold,
a head full of knowledge,
and a wit to knock you off your feet.
She has beautiful grey-green-blue eyes,
Blondish-reddish-brown hair that could drive you crazy,
and a soul that will lighten the heart.

Go find Mari.
She is waiting for you.
Every day, I bring her a flower.
Sometimes, more than one.

And if she asked me, I'd surely bring her
every flower under the Sun.

Every day, she makes me smile
and I always try and do the same.

But it's not hard when it comes to me ...
I need only hear her name.

Every day, I rejoice
just knowing that she is mine.

And every day that this gets older,
it ages just like a wine.

Every day is better than the last.
Every night, impossible to describe.

She is like an addiction I relish in ...
from which I'll forever imbibe.

Every day, I stare at her
just as the sun comes through our window.

Like watching an Angel, asleep beside me,
the greatest joy that I'll ever know.

Every day, feels like a dream.
Sometimes ... I fear I'll wake up.

And if this dream were some potion ...
I'd never set down that cup.

Every day, I love to hold her ...
feeling her breathe while standing by my side.

To have her look up, while in my arms
like being swept away with a tide.

Every day ... the greatest day.
The greatest I've ever known.

Every day ... the greatest love.
The greatest I've ever been shown.
This poem, from DEEP in my archives, is probably older than you are.
Everyday,
I walk to my favorite coffee shop.
The soothing smell of beans
awake my soul and jump start my mind.

Through the motions
I would order my coffee
and go about my day.

That was until
a firey red head
said hey.
He's thinking about other women
You're not the ocean he's swimming
But you're brimming
With perfection for me
I want to move like the tides
For you in the pitch black
Just stay on your back
And let the insecurities wash ashore
Let peace as I touch be your main focus
It's never been about my desires
But oh lord how do you sleep at night letting yourself be deprived of such a great feeling?
You'd give me that tight
Instense feeling
And I want to release it
On you and nobody else
He's browsing through the app to see what he can find
I just want to be the person who can get behind
You and make you feel at home
I want to dream and live it
Not just dream
We're apart of the same team
So let me give you effort to win a dynasty
Your highnessty
 Apr 2018 Heart of Silver
Weasel
there was a boy in the elevator
who smelled like you

it had been a long day
and my head was full of smog
and my stomach was already
eating away at my insides
like acid

i knew it wasn't you
you never come here
and he was too short and skinny
and he didn't have your face

but even after all this time
i smelled a boy who smelled
like your cologne

and suddenly it was you
with your head on my shoulder
me inhaling deeply
because i used to love your scent
so much i'd steal your shirts
and wear them during class
and hold the sleeve over my nose
to remember you

i didn't have time to think
i didn't have to
the human sense of smell is weak
and rarely useful
but it carries memories
better than any other vector

my heart beat faster
the smell seemed to take up
all the air in the confined space
and the noises bounced around
like ping pong *****

and from deep within my gut
on a two floor elevator ride
came the fear that i associate
with you
for my abusive ex
 Apr 2018 Heart of Silver
haley
it's snowing in april and
the bluejays have abandoned their nest to
welcome the newcoming of spring;
we have no furniture, sweetheart,
but we do have time. last night i
held your cheek in my tiny palm and
asked if you wanted me to rest
in your arms forever -
"of course", you soothed,
and i brewed cherry coffee in the morningtime
to remind myself
that this life is good.
we have no money, sweetheart,
but we do have time. we do have time.
just a short one.
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