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I'm buried
so deep under
myself how
in the earth
did u find me?
sunlight is really
starlight loving u
like day on night;
I know that the
sunlight is where I
want to be w/ u;
but I know u will
stay in ur shell; but
I'll call u when the
sunflowers bloom
 Apr 2018 Heart of Silver
病気
The world turned its back on me,
I realized, I didn't know why I was crying.
Blank face, vague tears,
Grey skies, finite bleam.

I begged myself to leave me alone,
I felt something I musn't feel.
Cried with the loudest voice,
While my happiness wasn't on the tone.

Sadness filled my head,
It was the reason why I bled.
Discreet noise was its weapon,
T'was the silence of a hungry lion.

I became the prey of depression,
Anxiety became my companion.
I didn't have a choice,
They'd let me suffer if I escaped their prison.

I am tired.. no —
Not even that word would suffice.
I want to die.
 Apr 2018 Heart of Silver
病気
This is not a letter to myself,
Nor to someone I left.
This is for someone filled with regrets,
For those whose pain demanded to be felt;

It was the obscure evening,
The night when you found yourself— empty.
You lost trace of the light's being,
T'was the moment you chose to flee.

You gave everything you must give,
Gave them all their needs—
Yet there's nothing left for you, not a penny,
Not even a single bit of sympathy.

You were lost, tears were crystalized,
Pain made you lose your mind.
There, you made a decision,
You became your own rebellion.

You killed people, hurt 'em with your words,
But never regret, they did the worse.
Chose to choke you while you're breathless;
The people who made your darkness.

It wasn't your fault that you hurt people,
It was them, who killed your own person.
As handsome as a lion
Tall with crew cut blonde
Hair and articulate
To the point of nausea.

Too young to give me
The eye or a glance
But was my brother's
Friend from The Bec.

The four of us played
Bridge, a heated game
Where intelligence rules
And chance gets a bite.

Paired into twos, competing,
Boyfriend and I, unequal
Richard and Colin, unequal
The serious and comedians.

Sitting opposite our partners
Reading expression, important
Prediction the golden glitter
Siblings had only expectation.

Love Mary x
For Roger who put up with my playing with a good grace .
Love Mary ***
 Apr 2018 Heart of Silver
Her
that moment
when the worry
begins to seep into
my veins

that moment
when the pain
begins to play
tricks within
my brain

i feel my collarbones
and know i'll be

o k a y
Stretch marks hugging her body
Curving around on her hips
Simply shouting "her majesty" on her brown skin
Patterns and prints that justify her beauty

A proud women she is
With all natures purposes aĺl over her body

Thy Temple.
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