The seething disturbance
The heart shaking kind
Has eased on my fragile soul
And plague inflicted mind

You know the reason why?
Time doesn't want to talk,
Yet god's rays cometh back come spring
Just because amongst the living you walk

Your heart is still under siege
How much longer can those walls hold?
You must know the road alone is long
How many more will you break as you grow old?

All those who approach your throne
Could never hope to realise
What that beautiful, stupid mind thinks
Behind those beautiful, empire felling eyes

None of this is your fault, nobody should
Cry because of something one can't control
Sending you down a spiral, you never thought
Would go beyond even the deepest hole

I could never hate you, although I want to
Everyone is the hero of their own story
Nobody can blame another for seeing differently
I've learned a lot, even the thing I needed, humility

Perfect and broken, unfortunate
Qualities that attract more war
Even I couldn't resist the battle call, sadly
You can't hope to see beyond my selfish bore

Maybe through this loyalty to yourself
That your candle is still lit
Even if a life as hectic as the ocean
Is striving to extinguish it

But a calm body of water, the frequency
Of that all healing, riveting smile
Perhaps a piece of my demise
Sure enough, gave you another mile

Cannot tell you how sorry I am for all this
If you want to, keep this in your memory
Know that I felt some minute solace,
Thinking at least for now you are "happy"

This endless cycle of ups
This endless cycle of downs
Once it breaks you out of these cuffs
Only to realise, you're the only one that drowns

You sense movement in your tearducts
From time to time, it shocks as it's warm
Meaning to let you down with waves of floods
Overwhelming you, before you resort to harm

Letting your eyes cough once more
Eroding the sandman's architecture
Which of them was left by which sore?
You ask while once again you lose all texture

So the vicious cycle can begin again
Building up to another main event
Over and over and over, my friend
Just when the **** will this ******* end

Seemingly calming now, I thought
The sun looks to be shining on this lord of cinder
But I need to find another siren to float
The next will drag me down in a different manner
But if it goes as far as to hold me,
I don't think it will matter

I'm cold, can you help me?
Give me another chance to flee
To see this wasn't all for no reason
Tell me this knowledge will elevate me
Otherwise fall might be my favorite season

Dissapating clarity
An invoiced heartache
A handpicked flower, lost
To gullible hypocracy

Dreary, windy, however bright
Mute songbirds terrified
Of the silence after the storm
They have wings, why do they fear height?

The life ending natural cause
Who you thought would give warmth
Left your eyes hungry for more,
For just a little bit more applause

The benefit of circumstance
Keep the leaves hanging on
Wanting to fall, needing to fall
They will learn the meaning of distance

I am tempted to leave it
To give up again
Once and for all
But I find I can't

I made an oath to myself
To finish what I started
To challenge my feelings
But I am left thwarted

I wish I saw her side
All the mistakes I've made
Could I have prolonged it?
The inevitable, premade

I was always going to fail
But this ******* glimmer of hope
The good old learning experience
Has left me at the end of a rope

It's not even over for god's sake
The glimmer's still there
Only very dimm
Why can't I not care?

I have to see her every day
This is not my choice
I only wish to help in the end
But the indifference in her voice
Makes me have to pretend to understand

But I can't, I won't
Will I never?
No telling if it is worth it
Still, this can't last forever
Can it?

Painful bliss, Blissful Pain
Is my present, my drain
Now I feel only rain
But from dead, dry earth
What has anyone to gain?