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The fact of the matter is I'm lost. The dense infinite sea has all the power over me. I go where the wind takes me. There is life all around me, yet I'm all alone. I had people back home, but all of them stayed as I set sail into the mist. I'm cold. The only comfort I have is, that I will inevetably come across some sort of land, somewhere I can take refuge, somewhere I feel safe and warm. Warmth. It's all I need right now.
I write to let my mind express itself and to keep my sanity. Of which I have not a lot left. Had I any to begin with? Why must I suffer. Why must anyone? I don't know if suffering together with someone would ease the pain, or would it simply multiply it. Only time will tell. I hope, I think.
Not knowing is manditory.
That is all I have left.
Soon i might know.
If only because of some miracle, the promiseland finds me.
The bottle, the one I set out into the emptiness, hoping it will find the one I sent it to, and return her to me.
I might never know. Know that feeling.
I might never feel again. Im starting to lose it.
I never learned how to sail.
Thought it comes naturally. I could, but it is keeping me from it. This. This one, that is both a blessing and a curse. The one, who promised me the confession will reach it's goal. How will it know the goal, when even I don't? Empty promises. Just like they promised to help me.
What did I expect
The start of an 11 poem journey about unrequited love, solitude and finding myself
I don't know which feeling to feel
I don't know which of my wounds to heal
I don't know what to hope for anymore
I don't know how long I can go for anymore
I ran out of my less personal, surreal stuff. I guess it's time to get into my more sentimental, love poems. This one was written in the aftermath of all that...
Am i blind? What is this? Why have the gods forsaken me? Wait, I see a light. Within the light I see only dark. Where am I? I wake. Thousands of shivers run down my spine as I rise up towards the source. I am alone. The light seems to be moving, does it want me to follow it? The ground beneath me is soft, almost sand like. I follow the light, why is it so dark?
It seems like hours have passed, but time is irrelevant in the eternal darkness, it seems. Even the source is dark, only less dark than it's surroundings. I tire. I reach toward the heavens in prayer, for that is all I have left. No answer. The light beckons. Millions of thoughts run through my mind. Am I dead? Is this limbo? Or purgatory? I shake. I do not even remember who I am. How did I get here? Weird, I don't feel like I'm dead. I still feel pain in my legs and my body from my journey. I pinch myself, what sort of horrible nightmare is this? The pinch hurts. I am sweating. Wake up! I shout, as I bang my head against my hands. It's no use. The only comfort I have, is the presence of this entity, that for some reason is leading me into what seems like oblivion. I become more and more weary of it, yet I'm drawn to it. It is my only hope. But first I must rest. Both my body and mind. Feels like most of the journey is ahead of me. I can't give up. Not now. I fear I will be consumed. It's as if something is watching me, I can almost hear it's breathing. The incessent silence feels louder and louder. It hurts no longer.
The very first thing I have ever written
The bird is just a stone's throw away
I don't have a stone.
The bird flew astray
Now I'm all alone.

I hear a cry
The distance is great inbetween.
Still it might be worth a try
A better throw I've never seen.

Where it went I still don't know
Was it the one that cried?
Where it came from, down below?
It lay just as I lied.

One dead bird, it wasn't me
There is no longer a distant bellow.
The greatest throw you'll ever see
There is no longer a distant hollow.
Open wide,
Little guy,
The unworthy
Shall outlive this
Remorse of thine

Open wide,
the mad man cries,
The sins of many
Should suffice
The one and only

Open wide,
The sad man dies,
In flames and agony
Never in doubt,
Born a nobody

Open wide,
Little guy,
The sod and sorry
Shall fulfill this
Hunger of thine
Negative one,
I am cold and I ask of you
What are all the ways,
That you keep yourself abused?
I have seen the scars,
of the one who was left behind
I have seen them fall,
In this bloodstained mind of mine

I have seen the spark,
The spark of a thousand flames
How do you find ways,
To never feel any shame?
I have felt the loss,
of the one who had many names
I have heard the chimes,
The echoes of my remains
Based around Set Fire by Carina Round
There, a free retreat
Hollow by night
And very discreet,
A welcome sight

There, again we meet
Hollow by day
Strange, bittersweet,
No absence of light

There, just what I need
No other way
To quench my need,
To peel and say

Here, I can feed
My emotion fright
The silence I heed,
The asylum flight
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