The night I gave up
I didn't frown
I didn't cry
Not a tear fell on my cheek
I spoke with ease.
I bent the bars of my prison
And I escaped
I walked the streets and shared my love
Barefooted, dressed in my imperfections
I wore my flaws on my sleeves
My heart in my throat
I held my dreams in the palms of my hands
For any stranger to follow
Like pieces of myself, I gave them away
So that I might not be forgotten
So that I might continue to live
Even when I'm not breathing
Even when my lungs are drenched in river water
And I march to the other side
To the slowing beat of my heart
I walked until my toes felt the cement curve
Then, I knew it was the end.
My eyes turned black
Black as the night
My soul dark as the mascara on my ******* eyes
My heart like stone
Fallen
And scattered.
The soles of my feet burned
From the coals I'd stepped on
Walking through hell
Bringing a little back with me
Scorching the grass beneath me.
I shredded cities and they stared at the monstrosity that was left inside me.

I looked back at all that I had left behind
And down at all that I had left
I smiled
Because every piece I had given away
Was glowing.
I was angry, but I was free
My purpose was finished
Maybe not completely
But it was all my fragile soul could take
So I turned back towards the water
And I
Jumped.

i have so many stories to tell
stories in my head that i have never lived
like how the waves slap against the dark, cold rocks of the shore
as i sit, salt-soaked hair,
listening to the whispers of the wind
or how the hollow caves echo
bouncing their secrets against the walls of my mind
or how the revving engine drowns out my singing
or dancing into a gas station convenience store
buying souvenir shot glasses from the vacant cities that have stolen my heart
or sitting in Prescott at 11 pm, a thick blanket of night engulfing me,
nothing but shimmering stars and the Milky Way taking my soul to transcendence and enlightening

i have the stories of your dreams
but you will probably never read them
and if you do
will you understand?

Once again I'm sailing alone at dusk,
No companion to help rig the mast;
So much pain accrued in my solitude,
The lonely hour approaches fast

Gathering clouds conceal the moon's bright glow,
Now I know all too well what this means,
The dark shadows fall, then I hear the call ......
The Court of Loneliness convenes

I see the stars lighting the firmament,
Yet, where I dwell, all is bleak and dour;
With my heartstrings torn, and my life forlorn,
No beacon lights my lonely hour

Was ever a chain of woe forged so strong .....
How did loneliness acquire such power?
The clock chimes, but how strange - time does not change,
Once again it's the lonely hour

I'm lost in a forest of broken dreams,
Searching for Love's enchanted bower;
Then, in the distance, with dark persistence,
A bell tolls the lonely hour

Is there no escape, no place I can hide!
Why do bells toll from every tower?
How can I forget what comes at sunset ......
The torment of the lonely hour!

Entertain my broken brain
Numb me till I feel the pain
Swirling, whirling agony
In my blank stare.

Anaesthetic, my aesthetic,
Curled up in a ball, pathetic.
Surgically remove my fears;
Does anybody care?

Interweaving, spirit-reaving,
For my peace of mind I’m grieving.
Nothing matters so I scream,
“It’s just not fair!”

New beginning, used to winning,
Patience with the world is thinning,
Failure strikes, though through the years,
Protection has prevailed.

Codependent, my defendant
Is betrayed by my resentment.
Coddled by the Understood,
My lack is now unveiled.

My decision, hooded vision,
Heart and Will engage in fission.
Thus the end will soon begin,
With both my halves impaled.

Trapped in your own mind
You lost your soul
And you knew it from the start
That youd never gain control
The chains around your wrists
Held you high upon the wall
Blinded by this sight
That made you think you had it all
Pushed away from the reality
Of knowing your all alone
No one out there sees you
A bird that's never flown
You never leave the cage your in
Never knock down the walls you've built
But I see you crying in them
And drowning in your guilt