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RIVR Dec 2019
ginger, girl,
come here

I’m lonely and you’re the only thing I have
Do you remember those days?
Are you out there?

I wonder if I’m inhuman
For not understanding how much I used to love you.
I remember gasping sobs into my pillowcase
You’d run up to me and kiss my tears away until you could feel my dimples
I remember your warmth laying in bed next to me
I remember your comfort, your love, our fights, our memories
I don’t think about them often, and for that,
I wonder if I’m inhuman

But, do you think, perhaps
Is there the slightest of a chance
That I might not remember
Because if I did,
My heart would stop?
RIVR Sep 2019
Hello Jamie, it’s Claire
My Frank is in the driver’s seat next to me on the I-17
Trying to meet my efforts to take care of all the burdens I’ve packed in my knapsack
Wearing the corset meant for me
But I bear the sword at my side
Is it a sin to miss you?
Is it a sin to want to reach out,
Get into your good graces again?
He calls my emotions
“Deep acid oceans”
The ones you were never afraid to swim in
The waves look deadly, but the water’s warm
It takes a brave laird to dive in
I know you still think of me. I know it
I have to believe it to get through the day, sometimes
But if you meant anything to me, anything at all,
Why did I say goodbye?
But if you meant nothing to me, nothing at all,
Why are you still on my mind?
If you can hear me, say hello
RIVR Jul 2019
in case you didn’t know,
your skin is soft.
it’s soft under my fingertips
when i graze them along your arm
it’s warm when you’re asleep
then i know your dreams are good.
it’s cold when you’re anxious,
when the night takes you to the places
you don’t want to be.
it’s clammy when you’re in the bad memories
it’s rough when your day has worn you down.
i’ve memorized your body
i know where you twist and turn.

in case you didn’t know,
your eyes are hazel.
you are, after all, the earth
green vines bending into the soil
golden rays of sunshine
kissing the coarse dirt
you’re a world to me.
you’re an adventure
the greatest of my life.

in case you didn’t know,
your eyelashes are dark
they kiss your tears and wish them well
as they send them down your soft cheeks
they flutter about when you’re happy
and they dance about,
so melancholically,
whenever your heart is in pain.

in case you didn’t know,
i love everything about you.
i could say so much more,
and i promise i will
for the rest of my life.
RIVR Jun 2019
i run away.

that’s what i do.

when the plethora of deciding factors outweigh my energy and i lie awake at night,
no longer thinking of you,
no longer thinking of anyone,
just thinking about how i want to get high,
be ******,
and forget all of my problems—

but that’s just selfish of me,
isn’t it?
RIVR Mar 2019
i’m a crashing wave.

that rush you feel? that’s the push-pull
of the life energy i carry
the shores are one night stands, and
the ocean floor is my love
i touch each as i move
as i come and go
giving pieces of my heart away in the dark night
i thought i was a prisoner,
and then i thought i wasn’t.
i was right the first time, you see
but my prison is this earth
i haven’t explored it all
once i have formally met every square meter,
shared my soul and have nothing left,
once it has taken all i have,
i will have served out my sentence
and i will be free.

when i am left with nothing,
i have room for everything.

when i have no more oxygen,
i have room for the universe.
This is a new chapter, and I realized, even if I am buried in a grave, I am eternally free.
RIVR Oct 2018
I could lie and say I like it rough
Then you would never know how much you hurt me
You wouldn’t know the words that have escaped my body
Or the skin that has broken
Or the life that has slipped through
Or the bad *** I’ve had because of you
You don’t know the restless nights I’ve tossed and turned like a fish out of ******* water
The things I’ve done to my body because of the things you did to my body
The things I’ve said to that shiny thing in the bathroom
I’m not angry
I’m not ashamed, either
It’s just that I’m going to be loud forever, now, okay?
RIVR Oct 2018
In my poems, you are grandiose
I paint you with all the colors in the rainbow
Flinging the paints at the canvas like a light show symphony
You are a wild goose chase
I am the sun
Beating down on the hot desert and its single paved highway
The nonsense blown away
Leaving behind sand dune formations
Nothing but perfection
Nothing but you and I
You run along under my light
Through my illumination
In my glimmering shine
You dance with the colors I bring to existence
Because without me,
You would be dark and dull.

Like a tree falling with nobody to hear
If you are a rainbow in the dark
Have you any color?
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