Nails on my skin
you pull me back
the only thing keeping me from death
you whisper,
don't go..
But you let go
my arm falling limply to my side
I shake my head slightly
and you nod
Tears streak down your red face
but you know
that I have to go

I remember,
looking up
I could see the shining stars
twinkling happily
out my old bedroom window
If only I could be as happy as them
Clouds cover the stars tonight
coating the world in a navy slur
But I hold this knife now
taken from my kitchen
hidden in my sock drawer
And I stand here
feeling stronger than ever
hidden so no one will find me
I can't deal with this
I don't care about the abuse
I know you won't miss me
I write this to inform you
that I was never happy on this earth
I might be on the next
No one will know
No one will care
So today I draw my knife
and I press it to my chest
as one for the billions
No one will miss me
My hand shakes
droplets of blood fall
mixing with tears
I have to
Don't worry about me,

**I'll be fine

A consideration for the smallest things.

pebbles, sand, birds.

I look down at the smallest things,
and try to express the sudden urge of gratitude
that lays a blanket on me.

fire, sun, warmth.

Yes, they are small.
Yes, most people overlook them.
Yes, most people take them for granted.

water, ice, snow.

The smallest things
Are the things that change us.

See, a few days ago,
I was standing outside in the pouring rain.
A child walks up to me.
She says,
"Miss, are you alright?"
I say,
"I think I am now."

So the smallest things
Are the things that change us.

Closing my eyes
Accepting the darkness
Isolated from the crowd
And I'm a confined human
Bathing in laughter that isn't mine
Living a lie in the oak tree shade
Shivering in the hail that covers the land
Around me. The hail that makes everything ice.



Accept it. Please.
*PLEASE

When I meet someone new,
They ask,
"Hey, how are you?"

Why do you ask?
I mean,
I can say,
"I'm good, how about you?"
Or, I can say,
"I'm dying inside with the deathly feeling of the solitude that has become my life, and slowly withering into small pieces from the constant harming words that now dominate my life. But then again."

"You don't care."

"So go ahead and spill your life story. The ups and downs. The amazing and mysterious dilemmas that have appeared in your life. So talk to me. I will listen. Or try to cut in, and try to enter. But. But."

**"You won't listen."

Locker room talk.

Yes, it's 'cool.'
Sure, it's was considered 'awesome.'

But have you considered that
Women
Are humans
As well?

Locker room talk.

No, it's not cool.
No, it's not awesome.
No.
It is not what makes you tough.

1 out of 4 women are sexually abused.

And I see you.
I see you.
Your eyes are glazing over.
"What joy. It's* *this talk." You say.
Yes. It is that. talk.

What if,
Though.
It was her.