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1d · 9
Loneliness
The crowd
pushes in on me
from side to side
people I never
wanted to know
preferred to ignore
because there is
only you I am
waiting for.

You were always
the life
of the party
and even though
the musical din
bangs on and on
I hear nothing
I feel nothing
I  am left
all alone.

I keep wishing
these people
would dispurse
because being
surrounded
yet alone
without you
is definitely
the worst.

I want to wrap
loneliness
around me
like a blanket
because
now I see
that you're not
coming
back to me
so
there's only
silence now
there's no more
poetry.
1d · 13
someday...
someday...
I'm going to stop
adoring you
long enough to see
that you don't care.

someday...
I'll stop admiring
your pictures
with a wide eyed drool
and realize
you're talking about me
behind my back
and treating me like fool.

someday...
I muster up
enough self-respect
to see that I'm loving you
and you're laughing at me.
1d · 18
Slave to Autumn
Flowers bloom under salmon pink sunsets
grass grows and runs away with itself
newly born baby birds fly or fall
Yes, spring is finally in the air but
why am I so unimpressed with it all?

I yearn for cold, the crisp cool wind
my tennis shoes rustling the leaves
as I walked to her house where
the main street ends.

Autumn is my Master who beckons
me to stand tall against the sometimes
bitter coldness that stays around and on
into the fall.
1d · 16
Never
I can never do it all again
knowing what I know
bid time return, be young again,
going with the flow.

My youthful days are behind me now
well spent and wasted both
if I could do it all again would
there be some growth?

Would I do it all differently
a second time around?
or would I throw away again
the only love I ever found?

I can never do it all again
because I have a chicken-heart
even with a second chance
I wouldn't know where to start.
1d · 14
Mind Web
The spider web of my mind
spun with such complexity
leaves me wondering inside
what on earth is next for me
1d · 27
Open
Only you
Know me
My open door invites you in
just to break me once again
Where is
A locksmith
When needed?
Would you believe that
my bad poetry's written
by my cute gray cat?
1d · 17
Garden of woe
Thoughts of you always
permeate my mind's garden
with the seed of hope

my garden, although full of woe,
still grows with tears
and fleeting rays of hope
1d · 13
Quicksand
with each word I say to you
I feel myself being taken
down by the undertow
below the boggy mire
as I struggled to say
just the right thing
I find myself sinking
trapped knowing inevitably
I'm helpless as each word
provides more of a struggle
into the quicksand
of our broken love
1d · 18
Frostfell
frost forms snowflakes which
falls slowly not anxiously
fearlessness so differently
from how falling for you was
for your frosty days burn me
from the inside out as I
fell much too fast.
*form Tautogram
1d · 21
Desert | Haiku
you are a desert
hot sand slipping through fingers
cold nights all alone
1d · 14
Poet
You say I am a poet.
I tell you I am nothing.
You say I craft words.
I tell you I build nothing.
You look confused.
Imagine how I feel
that with a mere smile
the raise of an eyebrow
you push the words
right onto me.
That's right!
Don't you see now?
I am your paper.
You are 10,000 words
waiting to be written,
100 feelings
waiting to be had.
I lay myself bare to you,
an empty page,
just awaiting the
spill of your ink....
1d · 18
Falling
Winter and falling snow
each flake floating individually
knowing not where it goes
what freedom that must be
falling slow and landing
ever so softly.
1d · 11
Fake Anatomy
your silhouette
bleeds
a background
of tears
inside me and
flowing out
of me the
pain of ages
held in rages
my soul in cages

your handprint
touchless
yet pushes me
to the
breaking point
like stapled glass
no true fix
for the pieces
you've left me in
broken child
meek and mild
none the wild

your empty boot
doc martens
though maybe
endlessly
crushes me
my will ground
under such
an empty
sole as you
what shall I do
but wait
for
the other boot
to drop
imprint lies
self despies
no big surprise

why can't I see
you are
what I have
built you to be
an empty form
an ink-less print
a weightless step
all kept alive by me
fake anatomy
1d · 7
I loved you
I loved you
but I didn't know
how to show it
I always seem
to blow it.

I loved you
such patience
and trust
but as usual
I was too much.

I loved you
your soft
sweet voice
but I pushed
so hard you really
had no choice.

I loved you
but I didn't
pay attention
to where we
were heading
and it was finally
the straw the
camel was dreading.

I loved you
but I didn't listen
now I'm all alone
and it's you
that I'm missing.
1d · 17
Come back to me
Can I want to be
Oh so much like you
Maybe instead of who I am
Easily able to walk away
Beyond even giving a ****
Always ready to open or
Close any old door I choose
Kicking to the curb
Those I deem mere refuse
Of course then you wouldn't
Matter as much as now you do
Existing without you surely I'd be blue
*form Acrostic
1d · 7
Dust
Dust coats a globe
long left un-spinned
thick lairs of neglect
mirrored also within.

High on a shelf
surrounded by books
I can spot Türkiye
with only a quick look.

She is there, yanno,
she who holds my
heart in her hands
6000 miles away in
a whole different land.

As I dust off the layer
of neglect I think back
to how it felt to kiss
her neck.

I close my eyes and give
it a spin to make sure
it still works (and take
my mind of how I was
such a ****.)

Like the globe I didn't
take the best care of
her. I didn't listen
to what it was she
preferred.

Now, I'm here with my
books, my quills and
my dusty, barely
spinning worlds. Alone
writing bad poetry and
missing that special
girl.
1d · 10
Grief
my constant
companion
from day to day.
You might think
it does but
it never really
goes away.
It gets quieter,
It gets slower,
but eventually
it will always
come rushing back
like the sea
crashing into
the shore.
I have to ask
myself
are happy endings
merely folk lore?

I close my eyes
and remember.
my face wet with
salty tears
that sting.
Grief
Loss
I find myself wishing
memories of you and I
would make me smile
not cry with the
happiness it would
bring.

The simple truth
is I miss us,
you and me
the walks in the park
the laughter,
the children playing.
Yes, our times
together
always made me
feel so free.
1d · 17
The Hug
I hugged myself
and it felt good
It was easier
than I thought
I should've
done it long ago
Because I needed it
a lot.
1d · 22
To my brother
Brother, below my window I lay tonight.
Mother moon luring my mind away,
sleep calls ending the days fight.

What I know of my brother comes only from
what I’ve been told, on highways in the
slow middle of the night and from memories
of old.

The truth rolls out harshly, a story too long
sitting tight on the throat. I couldn't
have told it better with anything I wrote.

I cannot allow the knife's edge to slice
through the moonlight which colors this hue.
I fear I’ll wake up from this dream,
remember the truth of it all and then
not know what to do.

I want to recite every detail upon awaking
to make a memory freshly grown. How can I,
however, love someone I’ve never really
known?

At night, what I know is what I dream mixed
with stories shared, of when he was alive, from
those who really cared

Nightly my sleep pulls me back to you in waves
with such a fierce gravity. Always beckoning me
back to what I wish we could be.

My brother, once you called a Nicolaitan to
denote my lifestyle but I buried that pain
away with you all the while.

So I sleep under the moonlight, hazy dreams
of what should have been. See how my hands hold
this pane all night because you're still my
brother in the end.
Strength
La Force
a card of
female persuasion
a slow approach
is the key,
she's not
leading an invasion.

Her hat,
both worn and earned
whose brim
eludes to infinity
She stands
with leisure
relaxed
determined
steadfast faith
but not divinity.

Some believe
her to possess
a hint of magic,
like the Magician
yet subtle and calm
and much less tragic.

However,
She's merely mortal,
you see,
no kind of God is she.

One might fear
her safety
as she is so close
to the lion
but look closer
she's got him tied
with a chain of flowers
so she's hardly even trying.

She doesn't fear the lion,
she treats it with patience
and respect
she has the wisdom
to know how hard to push
to get the desired effect.

This card speaks volumes
while it teaches and reminds us
that True Power comes from
compassion and love not
brute force and
a heavy handed glove.

Inner Strength,
Patience,
Confidence,
Compassion,
Fortitude,
and Self-Belief are
traits that will lead
to Victory in one's life
where
Brute force.
insecurity,
Manipulation
Anxiety and
Self-doubt
will only lead
us into strife.
from Tarot Series
The cards lay before me
each turned slowly
one by one
to announce my fate.
I don't know much but
I know I want her as
my mate.
I want to buy her
everything
Jewelry
clothes
and a ring.

Then He arrives
Le Diable
The Devil
Half God
Half Goat
Offering me
all the riches
of my heart,
to have most
everything I want.

A fool's journey
I already know this
but my heart wants her
in my life, in my bed
she's all my world
she's in my head.

I know there's a price
nothing comes for free
The chains lay waiting
(pleasure, abandon, excess)
set aside for me.
Oh it's my choice
to wear the devil's chains
the devil signifies evil
but I know my choice remains.

Saturn, the red planet
home of The Devil
Capricorn the sign
leading to my personal
fate left yet undefined

Born in a moon of Scorpio
A Capricorn at birth
last day of December
does this define my worth?
I'm done begging God
for something real and new
I will take my chances
on the cards dealt
hoping to me they'll be true.

So I put the chains
around my neck
they feel like a noose
they aren't tight though
only my desire restrains me
as the chains are very loose.

Now grant me my heart's desire
make her love me again
and our life be fun.
The devil reminds me
on that front The Wheel
has already been spun.
from Tarot Series
The moon is a master of deception
(not unlike the sparkle in her eyes)
hiding that which would be shown
in plain sight wrapped in
dim glowing hues of night.

The moon is a master of illusion
not nearly as bright as the sun and
wrapped in vague promises of truth
I loved it as I have loved her
a lifetime from my youth.

The moon is a master of mystery
hidden things reside within it's glow
hounds of war bay at it out of fear
of upcoming doom unknown.

But I say, dear moon, if you must
do please deceive me so
because you, and the sparkle
in her eyes forever bid me not to go.
from Tarot Series
My life is in a never ending spin
lately it seems I just can't win.
I try to crawl out from beneath
the rubble that buries me so deep

My life is a wheel of fortune
I, the bent figure of constant change
my happiness keeps ending to a point
I'm becoming quite deranged.

Endless motion, no choice where it stops
I keep losing the spin that I'm so sad
I could just drop.

I keep thinking it will finally land
on something marvelous or grand
but this old wheel keeps going
round and round and constant
tragedy abounds.
from Tarot Series
Look at me
body splayed
edges frayed
nerves shot
broken girl
in utter dismay

where's my parade?
my band of trumpets
my banners and balloons
my celebration of me
instead all that i am
is totally strewn

the tarot cards fall
before me
i am the hanged man
powerless,
sacrificed,
tested,
Face against the sky.
nothing left to do
but let out
my painful cries

it was supposed to be
different
marching to my own
drummer
to the rhythm of
my own beat
but I lost it all
when she left
all I can do now is
admit defeat.
from Tarot Series
A woman with 2 jugs
and 7 stars
twinkle, twinkle
there you are.
Pouring out upon
the land blessings
and nourishment
held in one hand.
Seven stars
above your head
chakras
of the
crown
third eye
throat
heart
solar plexus
sacred
and root
points in your body
that run down your spine
Spinning wheels of energy
knowledge
almost as old as time
The bird overwatches
The holy ibis of thought
If you happen to receive
the Star card
chances are it's a sign
Inspiration
Imagination
Renewed hope
and faith.
Optimistic outlook
upon the your
very state
It's a positive
sign things are
changing and a sense
of healing is soon
on it's way.
The stars are already
yours so breath into them
and claim your
renewal of spirit today.
from Tarot Series
Zeus,
A God,
A King,
An Aries,
"The Green Man".
Head over Heart
is only
part of the plan.

Calling out
For us all
to step into our
Power and Authority
Not Ego and Superiority

Protecting the people
they serve
With a fierceness
that doesn't
bend or swerve.

The
Yang of the Yin
Encouraging Balance,
Control and Affection,
from without and within.

You won't find
these traits in
cowardice
hatred
or blame
in Fortune
or Fame

On the contrary,
The Emperor
is Encouraging
Us All to see
there is true
Power in being
the best we can
BE
from Tarot Series
My sin,
to miss the mark
in life.
as above, so below.
I effect, my own
final outcome.
living daily
in a tomb
self made
needing
the cup
to renew,
to refresh,
but
only attacking
my problems
with
a sword of air,
thinking it sharp
a deceit,
a manipulation,
false words,
promises
that never come.
pretty pink
lips
to needy ears.
a false manifestation
of words unspoken,
merely hoped for
in denial of truth.
The magician
although powerful
influences with
misdirection.
I seek the earth
below my feet
pentacles of sand
dissolve
with every step.
I discover
I cannot walk
only fall.
A quest
for the truth
limping through
life
in hopes of
finding fire,
the wand breaks
beneath the strain.
laden with
unfulfilled
plans
desires
dreams
her broken oath
to love
The magician lies.
from The Tarot Series
1d · 32
Green dot
There's a world outside my window
but my drapes are pulled closed tight
I don't wish to go outside my room
even though I know it isn't right.

My world is solemn since you left
my days spent lying in this bed as
I try so desperately to get you
out of my head.

You're just a green dot on a screen
while I sit here on Instagram on my own
waiting for a word, any word, to know
I'm not all alone.

I wonder will I be this way forever
living in this tomb that once was my bed
I want to forget about you, but I love you
so I cannot seem to get you out of my head.

The sun is shining outside and it's a
beautiful sight to see, I wish I could
make myself want to be out there all
footloose and fancy free.

But my soul just wants you and there's
no substitute to be found, the world
is all in shades of grey with out
you around.

Oh what a pain is heartbreak, what a
sharp knife within. I don't feel anything
anymore. I'm an imposter here inside
my own skin.
1d · 16
Haiku: Meds
Oh temper, temper.
Did you take your medicine?
I don't remember.
1d · 17
Fall
Fresh foliage falls flawlessly floating free finally
*Tautogram
We admire each other
us in our fancy best
at the wedding
of your brother
where we are the guest.

I touch your cheek,
kiss your lips
and feel your smile
on soft leather seats
in high class style.

I really love
this little black dress
you're wearing
the way it shows off
your thighs
with the blue hem
that sparkles
just like your eyes.

rolling up my
tuxedo shirt sleeves
your eyes dart up
as I put my hand
on your knee.

Ignoring the boxes
of rice on the floor
you put your feet
up on the seat
and your back
against the door.

My body fits perfect
between your thighs
with your breath
in my ear
the fact I'm excited
should be no surprise.

You wrap your hands
around my waist
I sigh as you
kiss my neck with
exceeding haste

I feel you
all over me
and myself in you.
It's bliss
even though it's not
the perfect venue.

Our sweat dances in unity,
your slips on the floor
then our rhythm is broken
by a TAP!, TAP!, TAP!  
on the limo door
Alas, our time together
is no more.
I took one look
and my breath
left my body
you were mesmerizing
in your little black dress
I felt my head actually swoon
when I saw you dancing under the moon.
You didn't see me looking at you
I was relieved of that fact
had you noticed me staring
I wouldn't have known
how to act.
When you twirled
the light caught the blue hem
imagine my surprised that
it twinkled like stars
mirroring your eyes.
No other woman
matched your perfection
your smile, those lips
and that perfect complexion.
The wedding was beautiful
but all that aside
I'll share with you a secret:
you were more radiant
than even the bride.
1d · 20
Ode to Lincoln
Same old stairs
same old knees
climbing, climbing
higher than one might please
I'm only one of thousands
who've visited the man
who sits in the chair
in DC near Maryland.
In his day
He helped free people in need
he lived his life doing good deeds
I wanted to thank him
this one last time
so I went ahead and made the climb.
1d · 28
So am I
Picasso was an artist
So am I
I pour ink on paper
in a style
that'll make you wanna cry
I can paint her smile
using similes
and describe her
eyes with a sonnet or three

Mozart made beautiful music
So can I
I string words together
that'll make you wanna sing
kind of like lyrics
I write all about love
and everything.

Ansel Adams took photos
So do I
I use words to show pictures
of all kinds
and project them to my readers
in their minds.

Etta James was a singer
But I cannot sing a note
but what I can do is
pour out my heart
in neatly typed phrases
with cleverly penned quotes

I'm a poet
I love words the best of all
come join me while I write
of lost love, new love
and all the above.
1d · 9
Commotion
I move through my days
no method in my motion
aimlessly drifting
my life, only
chaos and commotion.
when you left
I lost my north star
my path is askew
I am dying inside
and I don't know
what to do.

The nights are the worst
I lie in my bed
grasping my pillow
stroking it as if it
were your head
all
tangled in sheets
that should be our
hands and feet
just praying I'll
dream of us
once it becomes dusk.

It seems at night
time goes by fast
dreams of us together
never seems to last.
Before you know it
the day starts and then
I begin to miss you
all over again.
1d · 8
Hating Nature
I can't stand the rain
against the roof
tapping out the tune
of my failures of the past
reminding me how you promised
our love would last

I can't stand the birds
how their shrill voices unite
in a high pitched mocking laugh
reminding me of the lonliness,
now my daily path.

I can't stand the river
the bubbling brook
the sounds of life without you
remind me that I have nothing
no happy times left
because of everything you took
1d · 9
Planted
The days are the worse.
each minute
hardly passing by
slow agony
the clock, my enemy
I am the hanged man
****** stumps
limbs that have become
tree trunks
planted in this bed
eyes boring holes
in the wall
where your picture hangs
loneliness
broken legs that cannot move
unable to flee or fight
just lay in the days dirt
throughout the night.

nights. my only reprieve
waiting, hoping for sleep
to come and capture me
to sleep and dream of us
holding hands in the park
watching the children play
happy again if only
for a moment
you kiss me and I smile
into the beauty that is you
the sun that you are
warming me
is really all
I could ever need.

The day comes again
like a monster
devouring my life
the one
we were supposed to have
should have had
before you disappeared
I lie in this bed
that has become a tomb
covered by the rubble
of what once was.
no sunshine
no laughter
endless time, now spent
without what you said
would be our endless love.
1d · 9
You left
You left
and the **** sun
kept shining

You left
and it was
horrible timing

You left
with ice
in your veins

You left
and I went
completely insane

You left
and the days
kept on coming

You left
and I felt
like a dummy

You left
because you stopped
loving me

You left
because you
wanted to be free

You left
and the rain
still came

You left
and the clouds
rolled away

You left
and I didn't
know what to do

You left
there was no
rhyme or reason
no realization
no break through
Breaking apart
your verbal
sledgehammer
demolishes me
words that crush
all that I am
all that I thought
while I try to find
rhyme or reason
for the assualt.

Broken down
As floods of malice
pour out from wounds
I could not see
in you, from you
I am broken
beyond repair
It's only cold now
now that I see
you no longer care.

Break through, a must
to breath.
I deconstruct
everything I am.
It's no longer of import
why you eviscerated
me with your words
why you left me
as you did.
In the end
you didn't love me
was what occurred.
1d · 10
My anxiety
My Anxiety is a lion with a mane of barbed wire
and claws made of rusty nails. It is always around
when I try and fail.

My anxiety is a full, week old garbage bin. It stinks
when it's around and stops me from succeeding
again and again.

My anxiety is a blanket someone took off my bed,
threw in the floor and didn't fold. It keeps me
from being proactive courageous and bold.

My anxiety is a choke-hold under water with my
friends waving goodbye from the shore, I try to
swim but sink into the boggy moor.

My anxiety is a pirate ship sailing on the water and
I've got a target on my back making me perfect
cannon fodder.

My anxiety is a demon that haunts me day and night,
I hope and pray someday I will finally be alright.
1d · 25
The last time
The last time I saw your face
I felt the depth of your stare
Now you look right through me
as if I wasn't there.

The last time I held your hand
You squeezed mine back
Now hand in hand together
Your grip goes slack.

The last time I kissed you
I heard and felt your moan
Now I hear and feel nothing
It's like I'm all alone.
1d · 8
In honor of....
I will never know what
it feels like to be
a proud black woman.
   >>>BUT<<<
I will never
pretend like I do.
I have lived
62 years
In this country
and I have seen
Racism,
******,
And
Genocide
And it breaks
my heart and makes me
feel sick inside.

I will never know what
it feels like to be
a proud black woman.
who's turned down for a job
because of the color
of their skin.
But there are roughly
1.3 billion people
in the world who do.
I can see there's
something wrong
with that, can you?

I will never know what
It feels like to be
a proud black woman.
accused of breaking the law
just for Walking
down the street at night
Or have everything
in my life
be a constant struggle
and fight.

No, I will never know.
But I'll tell you
Right here and now,
I will never let the
color of someone's skin
Lead me to prejudge
what they are like
---->within<-----
1d · 19
Like yesterday
I remember it like yesterday
I saw her standing there
a short distance away
and her long raven hair

Her smile lit up the night
I remember it like yesterday
She sent my heart into flight
I didn't quite know what to say

Looking back now I remember
her eyes were such deep brown
I remember it like yesterday
When she first came into town

That was 25 years ago
we've melded together now like clay
Our life has been magical though
I remember it like yesterday
*Viator Form
1d · 36
Her words
Her words cut me like a knife
Though I love her with all my might
I would sacrifice my very life yet
Something's just not feeling right

Once joyous and sublime, now
Her words cut me like a knife
I want to go back to those times
before all this drama and strife

I try express how I feel inside
and try to talk it out
Her words cut me like a knife
she says all I do is pout

We might be broken beyond repair
I fear where we may have arrived
I no longer know what to do when
Her words cut me like a knife
*Viator Form
1d · 21
She left me
She left me
one fine spring day.
I didn't see it coming,
or rather her going away.

Winter came because
she left me.
My heart chapped from
the coldness of her exit.

I couldn't find her
to beg her back since
she left me
I remain a total wreck.

Time has passed but
I still cry in my bed that
has become a tomb in which
she left me.
*Viator form
I'm reading a book
How to deal with idiots
Then my boss walks in
*Senryu form
1d · 22
Her words
Her words cut
like knifes
each syllable
painted now in
hindsight's hue.

Of what's been
lost, in blood
and tears,
I write
this, my last
goodbye.

Words that
she said
deeply pierce
my soul.

A symphony
of pain,
leaving wounds
that never heal,
leaving scars that
still remain.

Here I write
a final verse,
a silent plea
in ink and tears
to let me go
and set me free.

In these lines
Although hard
to write
I must find
my peace and heal
my plight.

Yes, here I stand,
resilient,
with ink-stained
hands and heart,
I write with
pain and sorrow
it's time for
us to part.

Although,
these lines
may make me feel
somewhat worse
I find solace
In the freedom
of my own verse.

In the mist of
shattered dreams,
I pen
this final poem
A requiem
for what once was
before we lost
the joy.
I live my life teetering on the edge
of obsession and despair.
Your words cut me like a knife
And you don't even seem to care.

My heart is breaking and hurt feelings
have become a constant companion to me
This is why I must let you go
and set my spirit free.

To heal the wounds of this unrequited love.
I must learn to take care of myself
put away the obsessive love ever so
high upon the shelf.

These ties that bind are hard to sever,
just thoughts of letting you go
makes me ache so very deep inside.
I love you, yes, but you don't love me
a fact that can no longer be denied.

I know you don't mean to hurt me
but your love is like a wildfire,
consuming all my common sense,
leaving behind nothing but
charred remnants.

Farewell, my darling love, though it
may break me in two, I must release you,
release this bitter heartache to
recreate myself anew.

Though tears may fall, and my heart
may be torn, I have to stop loving you,
and be reborn.
The clock ticks on the wall
I think back to a time when
I used to feel so small.
Back in those times
I used to let myself
get dragged down
usually only wore
creased eyebrows
and frowns.
Now I'm stronger
I can fly at times
all alone I smile
rather than cry.
Experience more
laughter than sighs.
appreciate the times
as they go by.
How did this happen
you ask curious.
I started by smiling more
stopped taking everything
so serious.
Practicing being grateful also
helped me to be kind
rather than
seeing only on my pain inside.
The hardest part was letting go
of all the Toxic people in my life
I thought I needed,
who I used to beg to stay
to the point I pleaded.
I thought I needed them
to make me whole
when loving myself
should have been the goal.
Now I'm a do-er
Not a downer
A smiler, not a frowner.
I put myself first
and practice self care
and I don't miss how I was
back then and there.

I'm on the edge of something great!
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