I fell in love with a boy I knew, could never be mine.
At some point, I thought it was fine.
I didn't want my heart on the line.
For I knew that it was a sign.
What chance did he have of coming inside these walls of mine?
After everything that he has done because of his last "mistake",
how can I allow him to come back into my life?
Her words were enough to finally make him break,
it made him realize that he stabbed my back with a knife.
I gave him my trust, my life...
He wanted to make things right, so.. just this once, I let him try.
As expected, he found me cold and distant.
I wanted to ask him...why?
My feelings at this point, were non-existent.
To what extent, is he willing to go?
As time passed by, he began to tear at my walls.
Was I ready to let him inside...
Inside these stonewalls,
the deeper he went, the more I wanted him outside.
He was close to reaching the wall I no longer allowed anyone inside.
But no matter how hard I tried to make him stop,
he allowed himself inside without any problem.
My world came tumbling into a flop.
The feeling of being numb,
it's gone... Replaced with an actual heart.
My walls were tore down,
I thought my castle would be safe and he would protect me himself.
He did the opposite and let me drown,
a dragon, a problem...manifested itself.
I knew I was on my own.
He was too scared to face it head on,
face these feelings he had going on in his heart.
He was so far gone.
It tore him apart,
and caused him to recreate his own walls.
Disappointed, the girl began to cry.
How was it fair to him to do such a thing?
Leave her to die,
that was probably the best thing for his heart contained no meaning...
No meaning to the relationship they began to grow.
So now she's the one fighting for him,
fighting to tear down the walls he built up.
This was grim,
she was upon the last wall.
A wall similar to hers, the one she did not allow anyone in.
The best way to get rid of this wall was to wait,
because within time, the rock hard wall would sound erode.
This was her sealed fate,
it was too late to go down another road.
She knew where her heart was and she was willing to wait for her chance.
But yet...
There is another part...
No matter how much I tried to deny these feelings,
they're there.
He refuses to have any feelings now because it stings...
There's a pain in my chest that I find hard to bear.
The walls for me are becoming higher and harder than before.
This is dedicated to the boy I liked but, I could not have...not right now at least. I said I was willing to wait for him, but how long would waiting be, and how long would I be able to... I have my doubts but, I really like this guy, I refuse to let him go.
Background info; So, this boy..he was rather interesting. He's pretty cute, like..really really cute, and his personality is what attracted me to him the most. He was dating someone during the time I was talking to him so I knew to keep him at a distance. One day, he wanted to hangout and his overly protective girlfriend messaged me, accusing me of stealing him away from her. From then on, we had problems and he eventually ended up choosing her over me. It hurt, but hey, I moved on from it. A month or two later, he unblocks me and I asked him, "What makes you think you can stroll into my life like the way you did before?" He kept saying he wanted to fix things.. My walls were already so high and I didn't expect anyone to get through. I was dating someone at the time too, but I started questioning the relationship because, I started to gain new feelings for the guy. I ended up going for him instead because, well, with my ex.. I rarely ever saw or talked to him, the lack of communication was real...I know, it's bad but, it's the truth. So as time progressed throughout the summer, he started showing signs of interest which confused me. He told me he was still getting over his last ex, I respected his space. He then found out that his ex was dating someone else...so he finally broke down, I lost him. The chance I could've had with him, lost. His feelings, gone. My feelings, hurt. Everything's back to square one... I told him I'd be willing to wait so that's what I'm going to do. Of course it's going to hurt, but, it would be worth it.