You broke me

You broke me with your words
And you broke me with your gaze

You told me you loved me
Then became distant for days

You broke me with your habits
And addictions

You took my heart
And wrapped it in flames

Maybe you thought that
Would warm it back up
But all it did
Was burn it apart
And now it's in ashes
So I can't fix it
Because

You
Broke
Me

Eternally

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

You lied?
I cried.
You Flirt?
I hurt.
You wanted?
I needed.
You forgot?
I remembered.
You promised?
I kept it.
You stopped?
I started.
You were done?
I was trying.
You love me?
Stop lying.

Some slash their wrists,
Ingest a bottle of pills,
Jump off a high-rise building,
Hang themselves or
Blow their brains off.
And In that moment while they're bleeding to death,
Closing their eyes for the last time,
Hanging lose in the air,
About to let their weight drop,
And let that,
Bullet pierce through their skull.
Are moments they feel the most alive.
Maybe suicide is meant for that
So very "special moment"
To feel alive,
Just once before,
You cease to exist.

Love isn't blind,
blind are those,
who never loved.