We all want to live a happy and peaceful life but life is full of uncertainty. We always want things to happen as to how we design it but for some reason, an unexplainable force is trying to meddle causing us to sometimes detour.  We all live an enigmatic life, enthralling and at times, frustrating.

Like most ordinary people, I want to be happy too but I don't take full control over it. I've once read a quote from one of the coffee shops. They posted this on the wall saying, 'We're all given a paddle to propel and steer". But, the question is for how long should I be holding that paddle for me to stay on track. I am hurting and will always be. If there's someone up there who'd be able to grant my heart's wish, please hear me. All of my wishes failed, but I ask God to grant me HAPPINESS.


To all of the people along the way who hurt me, lied to me, betrayed me and broke my heart. DON'T WORRY, I don't hate you at all. In fact, I am always thankful that we crossed paths because you helped me to become a better person.


I want to be wild, beautiful and free just like the ocean.

We're literally two worlds apart but that doesn't stop me nor you to be distant with each other. We have so many options but we chose to stay. You could have blocked me or I may have blocked you. But, we never allowed that to happen.

We've been through a lot. We shared different stories in our lives but it all boils down to one thing, we're both in PAIN. We were beset by many difficulties in life and had suffered so much.

We both grieve differently and I must say grieving never stops. On that note, I should be and will always be grateful that God has allowed your presence to walk through my path. Could this be by chance? Or, could this by kismet? We never know.

And what most people don't understand, you stood up. Often times, you see me crying. You saw me when I was heartbroken. And, I am aware that I once broke your heart too. I want to say "SORRY" but that's not enough. As the song goes, "There You'll Be". You've always been there: when I laugh, when I am crazy, when I think I am beautiful, when I think I am ugly, and above all you stayed when I was at the worst moments in my life.

It brings music to my ears when you said once that with my presence, you find solace. Trust me, it will always be that way. And, if I should ever write my life story, surely I'd allot a space for you.

My dearest friend, together we will find a place where there's happiness and that happiness will burn down the PAIN.

From the very first day that we met, I knew you were the one for me. We were engaged for a very short period of time. We got married right at an instant just like a fast-paced bullet, a speedy train and in a most unprecedented way.

You were there all the time to hear me out, you were there to hear all the pains that I had in the past and made sure that these are just specks in life that can be fixed with you beside me.

We've made it through the years and fought to keep each other strong. We were able to overcome obstacles that only by God’s grace we have survived. God has given us the greatest gift in life and blessed us with 2-little angels. You allowed me to pick a name for them (Kirsten and Aamira).

Yes, I admit it was too difficult for me to utter these 3-magical words "I-LOVE-YOU". But God knows, every second of every minute never did I fail to show it to you in a manner that only you understood. As they say, "Actions speak louder than words".
Last year, 2016 had been a roller-coaster of emotion. And I thought, that would be the dreadest year that I would have. I even remembered you asking me to get back to the real me as you can't go on with LIFE without me. With a great 'hurrah', we were able to surpass this 'bump'.

Here's comes the new year, 2017 full of hopes, telling each other that this would be the greatest year that we "could" have in our marriage. I was even too ignorant to book a flight but been asking my friends to help me. But, these were all useless, worthless, pointless....

I didn't know that you were sick; it all happened so fast. Death has climbed in through our windows. My Dearest Darling. I am not as strong as I thought I was. Since you have been gone, I sit and cry all night long. But, I know you're in a better place. Though, I may no longer be able to see your face I know you're smiling down there, cheering on me and telling me that everything's okay.
No Goodbyes just ‘SEE YOU SOON’…