I spent last night
Crunching numbers

10
Times you led me on

9
Nights we stayed up talking

8
Weeks since you decided I wasn’t worth it

7
Crushed up poems on the floor of my room

6
Outfits thrown aside to make sure I look my best

5
Days I spent trying to get over you

4
Friends that know what we did

3
3 a.m FaceTime calls

2
Coats of mascara

1
Big regret

just because the star-
fish can grow its arms back does
not mean it didn't hurt.
______________

even though scars heal
and wounds fade it doesn't mean I
will forget the pain.

You can't just stop thinking that.
You can't just stop feeling that.
You can't just stop being ill.

I feel so foggy
Limbs feel heavy
Thoughts feel thick
Eyelids stick
I don’t feel sick
So it must be ok..
No matter the way
Self medicate
To placate
This morbid mirror
This demonic fear