TS - Hello Poetry

TS Aug 2017

My brain rattles around and I'm lost on what to say, what to do, where to start. There is a mountain of things on my list of life. I don't want the list, I dont want anything on it, I don't want life.

I just want to run. Run very far away forever and ever until the end.

-t.s.

#run #scared #overwhelmed #anxious #stressed #depression #axiety

TS Aug 2017

Overwhelming Pain

It travels through my bones, leaving my body weak. It stings my jaw line as my teeth clench. It makes lifeless my shoulders, my arms, my legs.

I am defeated.

The pain is overwhelming.

-t.s.

#overwhelming #hurt #pain #sadness #anger #depression #suicide

TS Aug 2017

Puzzle

I'm in a thousand ******* pieces and I just stare at the mess, blankly.

I've always hated puzzles, especially when so many pieces are missing.

-t.s.

#hate #hurt #pieces #angry #sad #sadness #depression #puzzle #broken

TS Aug 2017

Loosing Friends

I just lost my best friend.

This person, this human, with whom I shared my whole life.

I thought we were inseparable. I thought wrong.

Now you are just a stranger. We pass on the street and you don't even glance in my direction.

I get it. Its all my fault really. I'm so ******* broken that I don't blame you for leaving. I am too much to handle, there will be no return on investment or stock payouts. I will never be anything. You bought high, cut your losses and sold low. It will stay there; the low.

I don't blame you for leaving me. I wish I could leave me, too.

-t.s.

#friends #lost #hurt #pain #depression #sadness #anger

TS Aug 2017

You Don't Deserve to Mourn Me

Don't you dare leave flowers at my grave.

As a matter of fact, don't even visit.

I don't want to see you weep or talk about how good of a soul I was.

You don't deserve to mourn me because you didn't take the time to know me.

-t.s.

#mourn #depression #anger #hurt #friendships #dead #angry #pain #sadness #suicide

TS Aug 2017

I Can't

How is it that I feel numbness and such pain all at once?

I feel the tears welling in my eyes but they never break through. I feel the pressure, the weight on my chest but tenseness all over my body. I feel angry, hurt, sad, and nothing all at the same time.

I can't focus on anything, I am debilitated. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't be.

#cant #sad #depression #broken #down #hurt

TS Aug 2017

Less of a Person

I messed up.

Big time.

I should have never left, I should have fought harder.

Life was simpler with you, easy even.

Sure you were a storm and I was unfortunate enough to be caught in your wake but boy did I ever enjoy the thrill.

I am so much less now. Far less of a person.

I gained weight, I chopped off all my hair, I hate myself and wish it dead, I am speckeled in anxiety written all over my face in the visible blemishes, I am worthless and dull, I am so much less of a person now.

I am sorry for leaving, for wanting better for myself

because even if you destroyed me, at least I served a purpose.

-t.s.

#less #awful #terrible #worthless #pain #hurt #broken #depression #anger #sadness