I remember the way
the alcohol
lubricated our words to each other
and she told me those three
poisonous words:
"I love you"
Except she added
my name to the end
to make sure I knew
how important it was.
"You're the only
person I've said that to,"
She told me that night
as we parted ways

The next day she told
me that it didn't count
and that she was being
dramatic
and I remained in place
amongst those
who function better
as shadows,
withering under her
light,
hoping to hear the
meaningless words
again.

Tonight the ceiling fan
clicks with every turn.

The bedside clock ticks
and tocks in moonglow.

I close my eyes
and one by one
the light bulbs in
the house explode.

The darkness
becomes me,
I think.

I wear it silky black,
a spider-tailored suit
imponderous as ether.

I focus on the anesthetic sound
of a future breathing inside me.

Memory folds like
an obsolete map—

a distant archipelago
of diminishing stars.

Years ago, I’m sure,
we married in a copse
blue with wild hyacinth.

Tonight the satellites
cut like diamond tips,

lugubrious orbits etching
across a bedroom window.

Dawn always blooms with
the sound of breaking glass.

They say I'm good, they say I'm fine.
I'm meeting all the appropriate lines but I go to work, I feel slow
And I come home to feel all alone
When I speak its hot but not
They say it is and then its not.
I'm too close im too far
Where can I find the middle land
If I can even stand
I feel like im too much
i just need someone too clutch
I don't need help im not a child
But I just wish someone would be by my side
When im alone the world is dark
Spinning in my head
I feel like my heart has turned to lead
I give and give
At least thats how I try to live
But I feel like its not enough
And my emotions I try to *****
Im suffocating in my own skin
I hurt in silence its the best
Better than pushing my pain on the rest
Ill keep trying
And ill keep slipping

Is it all in my head am I a fool?
No im alone and sad in my room.
There are those who'll say they'll stay
Then they don't and I just lay
But its alright they say im fine
Apparently im meeting all the appropriate lines

i tried to stop myself
but i ended up here
at the bottom of this hill
a long tumble down

i told myself i would not fall
i could not fall
but somehow, i tripped

i tripped down the road of love
but not quite love

a journey so long in feeling
but so quick in recollection
so graceless in beginning
but so right when you held me in your arms
so right when you caressed my being
so right when you kissed me with passion
under the glow of city lights and moon alike

i should not have let it go there
but i fell
i fell and now it is too painful to move.
to get up or continue falling...?

what am i to do but lay here?
and wonder why i ever looked down the hill.

What is it about you?
That just kept me hooked
Angel,you're on my mind
These feelings-they can't be shook

Why is your face in my head?
Baby,it drives me crazy
Because lately I can't sleep
And I think about you daily

What is it about your touch?
It's imprinted on my soul
That no night goes by
My love,I miss your hold

What the **** is it about you?
That after all this
You're still on my mind
And I miss you all the time