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 Feb 2018 MaddHatterQueen
del
do you want to know the truth?
do you want to listen to my whining
constant complaining about minor trivialities
do you want to learn about my thoughts
my selfishness and my secrets
do you really want to dive deep into the
excruciatingly painful rabbit hole with me?

welcome to my home--
misery loves company
now that you're here, feel free to look around
the wretched possessions; the broken furniture
the shattered portrait on the wall
spiderweb-thin cracks in the glass
reflecting a distorted version of a once-happy family
be careful of the broken beer bottles
shards glitter against the floor
dust floats through the air, revealed by the bare amount of sunshine
slivers of warmth filtered through the smallest of cracks

it's dark here
shadows lurk in the darkness, terrifying and menacing
their anonymity and grotesque features off-putting
oh look, you found my emotion box!
there they are, the faded gray things
they are worth nothing
but yet i still hide my apathy
this is the theater corner
i practice my smiles in the vintage mirror
manufacture fake emotions from full-face rubber masks
easily interchangeable and draining to maintain

here are my problems, listed plain as day and stuck up on a corkboard
no use hiding them
some of the paper is crumbling, insignificant problems that don't mean a thing
take note when you find a worn pink paper
edges crinkled and growing yellow with time
enticing childlike handwriting speckled with tear marks and blood
im fond of it
it represents vulnerability and emotions
it represents the end of me

that concludes the tour
will you stay and help clean,
or will you flee in terror?
i wouldn't blame you for doing either
make your decision wisely.
roses are red
night is dark
writing this poem
hurts my heart

shaky sobs
like violets, i'm blue
i'm wondering
why i ever loved you
to ends and beginnings
Standing in the dark
Living with my void
Afraid of the mirror
Of all it destroyed

Crying in my shadows
Stinging tears of pain
Flowing down my face
Time and time once again

Trying hard to understand
The bleakness of my day
Uncertain of why this life
Decided they had to take her away
From the story Beautiful Words by Chris Smith
Evil comes, reaching and creeping
Darkness leaving you, shivering and weeping
Grey shadows fall, they bring doom
All around, trapping you in the room
Ready to claim you, as you scream

And you realise that this is no dream
Life almost deserts you, you're left alone
Lonely thoughts are chilling you to the bone
Almost as the nightmare starts becoming true
Now you feel the horror striking out at you

Panic begins stabbing inside your head
Out there come those you believed long dead
Endless laughter comes from a solitary raven
copyright Chris Smith 2010
As night silently creeps
For the world still sleeps
Relaxing for some other day
And nightmare comes this way
Installing fear within the mind
Dread is a rope used to bind

Only darkness makes it call
Fixing terror for one and all

Distilling horrors yet to unfold
A cold sweat will now take hold
Ready to open up the gates of Hell
Kindred demons released by a spell
Now cast by unearthly creatures
Every one with ghastly features
So dream on and you will never see
Strange beasts that are not meant to be
Copyright Chris Smith 2014
The toughest scars to heal are concealed on the inside
in the middle of everything you are to me
you are a tight grip I’ll never have
a fist clenched
on a weak arm
my foreign  hand, always ready to turn over
to goodbye

someone told me live dangerously
and so I smoked cigarettes,
you and I
by the ocean in foggy aches
and I got on the back of your bike

so I edged in and out of your bed
at starlight’s hours
a sink full of your sadness
because I didn’t want you to feel alone

so I thought of being a tree
and if you needed me, you could have my leaves
and my branches and if you were tired
I'd be a stump you could sit on

but because of that whisper dusk in the sand by your sister’s house
when you told me you and I told you me
and the air gleamed in a reflection
I opened my eyes and there was you
placed carefully in front of me

and with both sides of the edge visible,
ephemeral graces gave me their secret

and when you asked me to kiss you,
one thousand voices of providence,
silver threaded stitches
sank my soul to touch on you

bruised by the impact of a human being

and it was nothing to you
but it mattered to me
The once little, little prince,
stood wide-eyed, unto the sunless sky,
there, winged was she,
Rapunzel fair, princess no longer for he.

You see, he doesn't remember now,
how long ago it was he was told,
To find a princess, locked far away,
and if patient be ye, so too will treasure most pure,
be
his own.

And when, after many years traveling hence,
he arrived there upon the scene,
of the long, lonely tower, spiraling up,
there on and until the single window,
opened gently, and residing faintly,
laid a dream, he could not appease,
nay, no matter how much he rubbed his eyes,
Still, did the little prince look up and see,
Fair Rapunzel, in all her resplendent beauty.

Wait, she said, smiling gold,
In just a few years hence,
She laughed, merrily,
Will my hair grow long enough,
for you my dear Prince,
To come on up and truly rescue me.
For now it is good to talk,
and dream and be, for surely still,
must my luck be overwhelming,
with you here, to keep me company.
With just, YOU, here, little prince,
eyes nearly watering, she whispered,
And now not for me to be so lonely.

The little prince's heart, somewhere long gone,
Along the way, had already flittered up,
Though she could scarcely feel it,
With tower keeping them at bay,
Indeed it it land on her doorstep,
And there, long, did it lay.

So for many years, the Little Prince,
And Rapunzel did lay,
Her up high, and he down low,
With her hair, growing more each day.
And he was happy though, he was not sure,
If he was more trapped than her,
encased, but with each days growth,
of her luscious golden hair, did each time,
take a bit of his aching heart, beat by beat,
before mind barely had a say.

And then, alas, a few seasons hence more,
Around the corner was he, into her arms,
Evermore.
But cruel fate did lay, such plans for naught,
For at once her hair doth shed, and wings did she partook,
Yea, Little Prince, said she, Though doeth I love you so,
And the price I paid was dark and grave,
No bargain have I pursued could ever be forsook,
As this, one feeling, oh to fly over stone,
valley, canyon, and brook,
To be free, untethered, beating release,
NO LONGER DO I NEED WAIT,
OH WITHOUT SUCH WASTEFUL WORDS AS PATEINCE!
Now I am my queen, and you,
She looked down softly,
Not even my cook.

And the little prince looked up in awe,
Always believing in that which he was seeing,
awful though was his mind, that, Even still,
as his heart did empty,
did it endeavor, hurriedly quick,
To deny that reality, of waiting for a trick.
I was a game, he thought, but still,
if this be a quirk of god or fate,
Even now, in its very face will I,
Lucifer, be, Agnostic in this,
my hell.

So he closed his red eyes,
as his angel did ascend,
ne'er close did he ever reach,
someone.
Just a story now,
for children,
and growing young men,
Don't wait so long for someone,
you love in a tower,
or else you'll find yourself,
too, A...
Little Prince, not so little,
Anymore.
So much symbolism. For me. For life. For others. And, I must admit, not even did I see that ending coming.
It just hung there, rusted shut
Black as coal
Cold
Vibrations
Feeling's
That was not meant to be. I seized
My limbs frozen as if blocked upon
There reach.
Inscriptions placed in tongue
Of old.
"signati inter stratis universi"
I took my camera
Photos where as if nothing seen
Static,
White,
Blank
Visions of a black that cant be disguised around
Blossom of pink delectably spread around.
But beauty often hides the thorns,
That which is perpetual
That which seeps unto this world
Old,
Malevolent,
Malignant
Darkness that is like a whisper
Permeating into this world.
It is a gate,
A portal to a place that light does
Not enter or exit from this place.
The gate to......
I walk away as if hurried from this moment,
Ushered with a momentary....
"Where the hell am I"
"I cant ****** remember the last few days"
"I sense a smell of blossom"
I fell heavy as they tell me
"It's temporary"
I had hit my head some place,
I'll get my memories back.
I open my back gate and my hand retreats
As if knowing of danger,
But I once again reach,
"Nothing"
My head aches,
As I sleep I dream of pink blossom
I see the gate...
They find me three days later
Fear distorted upon my features,
Scared to death, died in my sleep, finger frozen
Out of reach,Scratched into my headboard
"The gate is open"
"The blossom has fallen"
**"The gate, the gate the ga............"
I wish you would say every thought in your head
While you blissfully stay 'sleep in our bed.
I would stay awake the whole night through
Just so I could hear every word from you.
But you've been asleep for quite a few hours
And I've been having a breakdown that comes in showers.
I've been staying silent so I don't wake you up
But all I want is to be held and rubbed.
I love you so much and the future scares me
I know the road we're on is pretty bumpy.
I feel like when we talk I'm the only one speaking
I know saying what's on your mind isn't very easy.
So I wish you would say every thought in your head
While you blissfully stay 'sleep in our bed.
Then I could stay awake the whole night through
Just so I could hear every word from you.
Mine, please don't steal it <3 Previously titled "Communicate". I felt Midnight Meltdowns 2.0 was a more fitting title.
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