Most people say family is forever and everyone else is just a choice
But truth is we choose our family with every passing moment
We choose our spouse, choose to have children
We choose to stay; to care; to coexist
While this isn't always the case for every one in every place
We often have the option to choose our family
Sometimes families tear each other apart with hate
Instead of leaving we choose to say "We are family" and stay

We don't choose love

We don't get to decide who takes our heart by force and in a flurry
We can choose who we will allow keep it safe and hold onto it
But we don't get to decide who we fall in love with

We call it a fall because it isn't a walk, a run or a jog
It's sudden, unexpected and unanticipated

We don't walk around this world knowing the love of our life
We bump into them, we are introduced, we trip and fall
We stumble into love and we stumble out

We don't look around a room and say-
"That one, that's the one i'm in love with"
That's not love, that's lust and attraction

We fall into, for and because of someone else
We get hurt
We pick ourselves back up
We laugh, we cry
We don't get a say in if they leave or if they stay
We lose, we grieve
We blame and we accuse
But we don't get to choose
Because love is not a choice

Love is a feeling
A calling
An urge
An undeniable force of gravity; A magnetic field
We are pulled towards and pulled apart
We are pulled so hard together we knock each other over
Just to get to our one true center

Love doesn't have a name
It's not a person
It's a connection
My love is the force that pulls us together
My love is the hurt that knocks me over
Whether I wish it was or wasn't
Love is not a choice

We can't lie to ourselves like we lie to others
A heart that beats is simply such
You can't tell it to stop or beat for someone else

Family we choose
Love we find

The last time I believed in God
I was 6 years old in Sunday school
I asked my teacher why we believed in a man above the clouds
I loved that woman, but her answer wasn't enough
All she was able to say was "Just have faith and the Lord will save you"
Children are simply meant to blindly believe what they are told, but some how I couldn't
I was defected
Because that was the day I stopped believing

The last time I spoke to God
I was 16 and losing sight of who I was
I asked him why he thought he deserved so much credit
For the world he made
A world that self destructs
A world where people find it so hard to breathe they take their life
A world where we can't see ahead of us because the future crumbles before it comes

I asked him why he let his children starve
Why he let them cry at night with no hope to hold on to
Why he let them hurt, shrivel up and die
Why he let them live in poverty

I asked him why I was supposed to have undying love
For a man who doesn't cherish the creation of his own two hands

A father
Who doesn't pay child support
Who doesn't hold his child in his arms
Who doesn't tell them he loves them
Who doesn't put food on the table
Nor a roof over their heads
Who doesn't speak or console
And who leaves his children alone and unprotected
Unsupervised and broken down

If we hold our own human fathers up to this standard, then why don't we hold the father of all responsible for his neglect?

The last time I prayed to God
I wasn't kind
I didn't ask for anything
I simply called him out
If a God truly exists
I hope one day he is put accountable for his crimes
And is punished for his sins

Being a voice for the voiceless
Is not making a choice for them
It is teaching them to make a choice for themself
It is telling them that they are worthy
And giving them the empowerment
To advocate for themselves

Being a voice for the voiceless
Is not manipulating the broken, the lost or the weary
It is not deceiving the hurt, the trusting or the kind
It is outstretching your arms, opening your palms
And not slamming them shut when you've had enough
It is being humble, humane and compassionate
It can do more than save a life, it can change a life

Your angelic words wrapped with demonic intent
Wont reach me from all the way up there
Your pedestal is too high, I'm afraid I can't hear a word you say
Your godlike vocabulary can't hide that devilish motive
And for as much as you lie, you are one awful liar
That angel light of yours can't blind me anymore
I have a special pair of sunglasses now
They block out all the repugnant **** from sight

We've truly done it
We've sold our future
for the useless millisecond
that is the present

We've gift wrapped our dreams
and sent them off to space
in hopes that one day
maybe they'll find their way back

We've sold our hearts
mass produced our compassion
and felt the void within our chests
we're heartless and we don't care

We've sold the future
to bathe in the pettiness of the now
the pathetic present
as putrid as it is

We've sold the future
like it was ours to begin with,
for something so worthless
even we don't want it-
                                        We've sold the future.

This world is a sad and dangerous place
Everyone knows it, everyone feels it
The new year brings new disasters
2020 didn't even give us a minute
to catch our breaths

We have the possibility of facing
A new war with every passing minute
It seems a new shooting happens everyday
Australia is literally on fire
And what can we do?

We place our trust in our leaders
In our countries
To keep us safe
Placing blame on anyone but ourselves
Some pray for people to be good
Yet even churches are no longer safe
We hope for the world to cool and calm
But with everyday comes new calamity
And what can we do?

War is an idiots parade, and we don't have a say
We can't predict disaster
We can't predict who will lose their mind next
We aren't prophets
We don't know how to be safe anymore
Worst of all
We are too lazy and selfish to save our planet

We don't know what to do anymore
This world is falling apart
And what can we do?

The roads I will take
Will be long and winding
Curvy and broken
Split and cracked
***** and dark
Damp and cold

They will lead to dead ends
Disasters and regrets
Heartaches and pain
Insecurities and envy
Burden and loss

They will hold sorrow and judgement
Fear and turmoil
Insincerity and tenebrosity
Anxiety and dread
Betrayal and delusion

But they will one day
Come to an end

The roads I will take
Will lead to floral paths
Full of sunshine and clear skies
Laughter and curiosity
Innocence and empathy
They will be beautiful; pulchritudinous

They will lead to destiny
Opportunities and possibilities
Miracles and dreams
Wishes and desires
Elegance and grace

They will hold hope
joy and excitement
Wonder and relief
Satisfaction and love
Peace and tranquility

They will have been worth it