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AJ Jan 2016
Words are meaningless
When you've been hurt before.
When lies are what you've known,
Words don't hold the same weight.
AJ Jan 2016
I hate this feeling.
Like you're slowly distancing yourself
From me.

I hate this feeling.
Like all we have is slowly
Falling apart.

I hate this feeling.
Like everything you say to me
Is untrue.
AJ Jan 2016
The snows drifts lazily by,
Falling, flying, soundless.
Working on nights with
Only the snow for company.
AJ Jan 2016
It's almost that time,
When the new day begins.
And another one ends.

Another one without you.
Another one alone.
Another one wondering why.
Another one trying to forgive myself.
And not being able to.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.
It has to be better.

Life cannot continue this way.
Life cannot be going downward every day like this.
Life has to be so much better than this.
Life without you used to be something I never thought about. Now
Life alone is something I deal with every day.

Midnight comes.
Nothing stops it and nothing changes it.
But tomorrow is a new day;
At least that's what I have to tell myself
  Jan 2016 AJ
Tom Leveille
and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
AJ Jan 2016
A blanket of white on the ground.
The same covering the trees around.
Wind blowing the snow in my face.
Honestly, I love this wintery place.
It's home to everything I know.
In January, all we can see is the snow.
Finally gave a good snowfall here and it's something I love
  Jan 2016 AJ
South-by-Southwest
A poem's a poem and nothing else
As they stand they will never be a tree

Even by God's decree

A poem's nothing more than the mangled thoughts
Spilling out of our heads
It's not the future that I see

Nor was it meant to be

Though I do admit
at times they tend to make me cry
And sometimes on the inside
they want to make me die

And again they give me hope
Even make me want to dance
And I come close to love and God
And they give me sense of balance

The world could do
without the poems
that funnel through our pens
But what a sorry lot we would be
without the freedom that it brings

So let the words flow like water
over Niagara Falls
Give our hearts the magic words
that make our spirits sing
Let us gain the unattained
Poems , and poetry is the name
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