I'm sorry for what i'm going to do i can't be here anymore this pain isn't something i want to live with i just want to end it just know i love you all

Im
brOKen

Dug my grave
Go to a rave
Have some fun
Find my gun
I am done
The end has begun
My mind is overrun
without my loved one
I no longer find fun
I ponder
if
Tomorrow will ever come

My legs are dangling off the edge
Of this ledge
But i made a pledge to her
That i will no longer take this razors edge to my wrist
It's hard, but i insist i will not upset her
I am in her debt
I look at my arms and i can not forget
Made a promise i will not let her down
Will no longer wear a frown
No more feeling down
I have been around And i have been knocked down
And no you don't know what it's like
You haven't walked 10,000 miles in my shoes

I don't want to have to pretend to be happy, I just feel so ******,All i am is a wannabe poet and you know it, my pain i try not to show it but it all comes out when i put pen to paper, i fight the pain i take a blade a slit my wrist Then i aim my fist at the wall Punching till my knuckles bleed, I have a lot of troubles in my life, But i they go away when i have that knife cutting into my skin, and i want to be thin so i starve myself and purge, all that is left is the urge to hurt myself Or to insert that blade into my flesh ripping myself to ribbons, and i know i won't be forgiven for my sins, there's so many things in my life that i could do without,and it looks like im out of luck, but i couldn't give a **** this pain i'm used to it, it's over for me

**** man why am I here
....
**** looks like we doin it
yeah ..
***** they ain't no writ out for me
but I owe you
yeah I know you got me out of that hole I was diggin
I got all the people I need around me so don't come Wiggin
grew up singing em that wigga got me thru hell
...
Hell marshals the one who got me here writing this ****
so sit the **** down and listen to this white kid rapping
man I done my fair share or crime
But I'll always find time to make another rhyme
...
Yeah I was kicked out at 16
left to fend for myself
I'm ******* young but my mind is numb
actin dumb Leaving all the snakes in my rear view
the people round me be new
but who the **** are you to say boo
if only you knew where I have been
and the **** I've seen
I wouldnt wish the **** I been through on no one

They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loodsing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished

They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loosing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished

My dad he’s dead
A couple week later I was taken in by the fed
And now Im without money to buy bread
Man ***** been going through my head
Making me wanna fill it with lead
Laying on my bed
Wrists running red
Won’t be too long until I am dead

Save me from the thoughts in my head
Save me before i'm dead
Save me before im filled with lead
Save me from my dread
Save me from the thoughts in my head

Suicide crosses my mind
If you ******* with me you are in for a ride
My Happiness is like the tide coming and going
Feeling like I’m in a canoe rowing up ***** creek
Yeah I know I’m a freak
I can’t go a week without takin a blade to my skin
Man I’m sat here wishing I was thin
Soon I will be rushing to hang
Take a gun and bang filled my head with lead
Let them shed fake tears for me

Nothing would be better than laying in my own coffin

Smoking dope to feel a smile on my face
Living numb
I can't ******* smile
And that **** makes me feel dumb
Leaving him cheating
What else can I do wrong
My chest is heaving
Sat here tryna be weaving these words
To try and release some hurt

Release somthing I know oh to well
the way I'm going I'm heading for rehab or worse death
Numb in the head
drugs are my butter n bread
**** looks like I'm sick in the head
Cuting myself just to feel somthing
maybe I will end up ******
Dead

I am broken
But I still smile
I am still kind of heart
And yes i am smart
We may be apart
But i still look out for you
Don't come and **** my mood
And yeah im more than a little lewd
And i will always be belittled
But i could give a ****
I'm going to live life to the fullest
Grow old with a beautiful wife
And please know that you can't snow on my parade
At times i have strayed from the path
Of righteousness
And yeah i am a psychopath
And you don't want to feel my
WRATH

The dream, starts with a stream which the moon shines her beams upon, along the river i walk, I talk with no one to listen, But there it is the rain in the distance gaining on me closer and closer, But i have persistence to find happiness And a resistance to that pain so i stand and i stare at the oncoming rain  of pain and i..  i fall to the ground and i cry and i try to get back up but the pain won't let me and when  i finally get back up, i lack the resistance to the pain, where is the gain in fighting, why am i trying, we are all dying why shouldn't i speed that process up, But this isn't fancy dress these rags im wearing are mine, Stop comparing me to the happy people stop declaring that i am lesser than you, who are you to tell me i aint ****. is it because i ain't fit  or because of my outfit or because i can't commit to being myself because i have to hide my pain from you and them no one needs to see the real me, this is my plee stop making me flee from the fight, i don't want to be in this darkness i am in i want to be light but its all gone where is my happiness

Time flies when you are having fun
Time goes so slowly for me

Yeah I’m the kid that you used to bully at school for acting like a fool

Who knew that you would be looking up to me now

But ima leave you laying on the ground blood pumping out your crown

***** you are the clown at the circus we all laughing at you now

Raise your brow at me
Questioning what happened
She happened life is a *****
Brings you up just to let you fall back down

You got me trusting no one
So I gotta keep my hands curled into fists

you were my rock
You were like the stocks I invested in you
We were the ultimate two
You were the father I never had
But always wanted
But now your gone
I feel like I'm done
But your light still shines upon me
We still stride together
You are in my heart
Forever

while my dad is not gettin better I'm trying to get my **** wetter

my father's headin for the coffin
Im tryna get my ****** **** in

I know I'm a ******
my past is set in stone
but my future is yet to be known

yeah I'm a rapper
I love to rhyme

but it's time to wash out the black not to back to that young D but to become a brand new me

it's been a few months since he who bleeds from his wrists cut
But somthings afoot it didn't take a team to help me
be clean i did this alone

you should have know I Could do it on my own

writing raps it's me and my phone
my inspiration ain't gone its just unknown

how didnt you know I rapped
I'm not a violent guy but you **** wit me you might just get stabbed

I'm not evil knevil **** the future let's get medieval you might just get hung drawn and quartered

nah man I don't take orders the only ones I will follow are the Lords ones

A simple cut to clear the pain
A miss of a meal to keep you clean

And now i am smiling
no more crying
but i am always lying
Thinking of dying
No longer trying to make it through
All the pain

Here i am crying again
Trying to rhyme again
Diving deeper into this
Trying to be a poet
And you know that my poetry is terrible
Its all unbearable
And im unrepairable
But my rhymes are
Uncompairable

What have i done wrong
I must stay strong
It won't be too long

What have i done wrong
I don't want to prolong the time i have left
all along i blamed myself
When it was you causing me all this pain

What have I done wrong

Why do i cry
Tears falling from my eye
When they clear
I must smile