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I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean happy.
 Jan 2015 Oliver Sireen
Erenn
Karma
 Jan 2015 Oliver Sireen
Erenn
Denying stigma of bided truth
You're still breathing, this is proof
Stagnant lies with poignant breaths
You chose this fate
You created this mess

Denying truth will only make you bided
No matter how fluctuated life is
Circles of contempt will never end

Rotating to the eminent truth
You'll be stuck in this loop hole
Repetitions of remorse will tire you out
It's never too late if you just shout

Shout for forgiveness
Shout for compassion
The fallen you condemned
The innocent you slaughtered

The devil always waiting by the gate
The time when the angels die
That's when you realized it's too late
It will always come back to you.
So face the truth.
love
love is a fire
i keep my hand in the flame
while it licks my fingers

i enjoy the pain
even while i burn

not even the dirt can douse it
rather
it feeds the animal and lets it go higher

love is not cage rather like the sand.
slipping through my fingers
as i clutch it harder
I was clay
My teacher
Moulded me
And therefore
I am something
To be proud of myself!
Notes (optional)
There are times I need what I don't know
I yearn for it so much
I struggle tirelessly ,and my heart takes me round
At times making me sit on the floor
Climb to the topmost branch of a tall tree
The time I need what I don't know
The time my heart needs something I don't know
It has no condition
No restrictions or rules
It has no reason to getting that item.
It only needs something
But dearly,
I realised this situation grips me
When you keep quiet.
And so my heart needs you
Only that my memory cannot capture you a smart
And so I sit down like we do
I play music like we do
I play on tress like we do
I joke with cats or dogs like we do
And I do all we do
But I remain not satisfied
Because my heart needs what I don't know!
I do not call it confusion
I do not say digression
I call it
Mysterious needs.
Because they are hidden to the later!
 Jan 2015 Oliver Sireen
jimmer
He kills me
But he saves me
He hates me
But he loves me
He empties me
But he makes me whole
He hurts me
But he's the reason I smile
He breaks me
But he puts me back together
Everyday.
A never ending cycle.
But one day...
There will be nothing left.
It's as if I closed my eyes and time passed me by
I wish that I could rewind

I miss the feeling of being careless and free
But now I have responsibility shackling me

I miss the days that I could play without stress
But now my life is just a mess

I miss the world inside my imagination
But now it's become my damnation

Every thought is centered around what I need to get done
There is no vocabulary in my life to define "Fun"

And I am not alone, but I feel deserted
I keep calling out, but fear no one heard it

I feel like I am lost inside my mind
And I am searching but I can not find

The way out of this Hell I've been sentenced to
Life was easier before I grew

up.
I'll sing of all the ways I miss you
and how this sorrow came to be
the verses, lies I should have whispered
the chorus, truths in harmony.

The melody will break the silence
and call your broken heart to me
to be repaired by love unyielding
to broken hymns in minor key.
Depression lies and makes us push those we love most away, sometimes so far away that they can never return.
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