i
secretly
loved
a
wookie.

I will leave lipstick stains on the glasses
When you try to get drunk you will still remember me.

I do not well up
Do not turn green and rip my pants up

I do not let the world see

I sit on the couch
Eating my lemonheads

Stewing.

but what of the men
who work hard
sacrifice
keep their hearts pure?

the age has passed where one would think to honor them

the only recognition comes

in being a working woman
or a man who believes he is a woman
or the man who has feelings for another man

but what of the every day men
who also do extraordinary things?

I wrote scores about him
Dipped my hair in paint and left a trail of where thoughts of him would take me
Who knew it would line the entire highway
Dotted lines
Straight lines
All mixed up
I could have written novels of my lonely journeys
The Hobbit has nothing on me
I filled notebook after notebook
Love that he would never see
And I am glad you like long showers
Because lately
I have torn the pages from those notebooks
And watched the ink run together as the water hits the floor.

Your lips taste like regret and regret tastes like liquor
Its making me feel better but I know Im getting sicker
Lungs lost in ash, decay and wasted dollars
voice spent from serendipitous holler's
Into the night screaming crying
waking, coffee, keep on trying.

Oh the energetic exchange when like minded souls meet
Leaves rotting on the air, suddenly somehow smell sweet
The sun shines in a way that your reminded its a ball of fire
And even as it sets, you have yet to tire
so awake, so dizzy, so much to think over
I rarely find sleep, hardly ever when I'm sober
Certainly not when I'm drunk from your embrace
A million words to describe your face
All falling short and failing to capture
The light in your eyes, at last the rapture.

I would offer you the best sensations, shivers down your spine
Ecstasy thrown, mind blown, you begging to be mine
Stroke my ego and I might just stroke your skin
Your body a new world, where should I begin
Your face on mine, my hand now held just below your wrist
Now Ill start with your lips because I simply can not resist
The scrumptious shade of strawberry and the tastes even better
In my mouth your tongue had sung and left me even wetter
A calm that makes me no longer wanting to give up and give in
A kiss that I want to build a house on and with you live in
My hands hold your cheek
As I stare up at you rather meek
Then trace the lines on your face and run my fingers through your hair
Nihilistic
Pessimistic
Altruistic
We would make quite the pair
Around your lovely locks tightens my grip as I pull back slightly
biting on your lip, your hands gripping my hips so tightly
I would smile with a silent confidence
As you recount how long you've imagined this
Your imagination may not have prepared you, albeit wondrous and vast
To feel better than you've ever felt, just know that it cant last
I would offer you the best sensations, shivers down your spine
Ecstasy thrown, mind blown, you begging to be mine
you chuckled and told me a body like mine should come with a warning label
Your eyes hungry devouring me from across the dinner table
The long lost longing, the build up, the intense temptation
Your mind reeling from a new glorious sensation
Nothing could have gotten you ready for what you'd feel with me
Better than you've ever felt, so visceral and free
I'm as persuasive as I am perverse
A mind I'm sure you'd love to traverse
I would offer you the best sensations, shivers down your spine
Ecstasy thrown, mind blown, you begging to be mine.

So much hurt, so much pain
You'd never know it by just a glance
You'd never feel her timid fear of you
While you shake her hand.

You'd never know she was touched and abused
By the smile she gives you
And you'd never think twice about her innocence
Because of the way she moves you.

You'd never know of her fear of men
Because she seems so bold
But appearances can be misleading and
Her eyes do not tell the story of her soul.

Alone deep inside
She sits by the river and she wonders
Where her heart and soul have ran off to
And why they left without her.