The promise
of emptiness
Is no reward for
the miles you
Walked
on daggers.

Amorous gaze still not returned
Still hoping just
Undecided
You'll just  serve as the muse for a poem you'll never hear recited
Do I get entangled in the infatuation
The unrequited love, the obsession
Let his rejection send me spiraling into self doubt and depression?
Oh not I
Yes I will cry I will feel and I will write
Ill stare at the bruises on my inner thigh left from his bite
Ravenous
Raiding my temple
And me
Loving
Every second of it
Every angle,
Everything it meant and yes even everything that meant nothing
everything that meant nothing beyond that moment,
the hungry,
delightful,
destructive and wonderful moment.
collection of moments.
No, I've never been great at collecting.

Unstable as I recount that night
That reads more like fable
So impressed with you a musician
And I lacking a label
Quick to share all that I could, spirits on my side
New Belgium peach porch lager along for the ride


The future is nothing, no foundation for a seed to be grown
Still I have hope for love
One day, despite
All
Of the unknown


Until then you'll serve as inspiration
For a heart wrecked from desire and desperation
Your face will fill my canvas, along with my dreams
You'll be the stitching for a jacket that's been torn at the seams

Oh warmth, old friend
Oh Andrew, sweet stranger
Lost in the light of the full moon, the music, the danger
Danger
Risks
So necessary with this level of vulnerability
In between naivety and senility, with my great friend instability


A night that started like all the rest
Left me nervous, excited, hives on my chest
Sweet memory let me drain you for all your worth
Sweet love and romance, the salt of the earth!

Something to separate me, from the separation
All these connections, further isolation
Needing, wanting, lunch inside my belly slowly churning
Reaching, yearning, loss, the most painful learning
No
Such
Host
Is
Known
You left me and felt no need to explain
Which blemish ran you off, which flaw, which stain?
My eyes, starving and morose, peer up to meet your gaze
Suddenly unstable when I recognize your craze
No
Such
Host
Is
Known
Your **** eating grin, your pupils fully dilated
Now that my body has been irrevocably violated
I wanted *** and I still do
But now I know I don't ever want to have it with you
No
Such
Host
Is
Known
I blinded myself with desire, and desperate delusion
Aching for love, ***, society, Inclusion!
I'm a parasite, needy, attached, Like a barnacle I cling
Your just another lecher looking for another fling
No
Such
Host
Is
Known

Here I am aching for some small affirmation
Still holding back overcome with desperation
Don't see me this way, I'll keep my distance
Begging the universe for your interest and persistence
One cup of coffee
One glass of wine
One kiss in the cold
Please be mine
75 minute staring contest, entranced in your gaze
I hardly blink, entangled in a haze
Energy and strings, invisible connection
Awkward glances, second chances, unsure of direction
Scared and hopeful, lost in joy
Seven years later, your no longer a boy
These symptoms of love leave me feeling sick
No sleep
Infatuation
And all too quick