GraciexJones

GraciexJones Dec 2018

Sitting on the beach on the coldest of days,
Winter chills which skims across my face and hands,
Watching the waves rising up and down,
Beating against the shore,
Roaring against the wind,
The smell of open sea rises across the land,

Birds are fleeting above my head,
Glimpse of the sun is peeking through the clouds,
My partner is drawing characters in the sand,
I run my hands over the seashells and tiny rocks,
I explore a combination of sharp edges and wet stone,

A misty gloom appears along the coast,
The sound of seagull’s squarking and dogs barking echo’s in the distance,

My partner lights a cigarette and sits across me smiling,
We hear the pitter-patter of a greyhound dog walking towards us,
The greyhound greets us with a curious gesture,
We welcome the dog with open arms and stroke their furry face to say hello
The grey-hound pondering between us,
Excitingly moving around,
We hear the sound of people talking in the background,
The grey-hound wonders off to accompany their owner,

A shift of temperature occurs in the atmosphere,
I feel the cold cracking my lips,
My partner begins to roll a spliff,
I contemplate about the warmth,
I propose we hit the Carrot Café along our way,
My partner agrees as he smokes his doobie
We get up and set upon our next journey.

#winter #beach #greyhound #dogs #cafe #cold

GraciexJones Nov 2018

Self - Discovery

Diving into my insecurities,
Replaying the same mistakes
Unfolding memories from the deepest crease,
Mesmerizing the unforgettable words
Reminiscing over faint situations
Tears trembling down my face,
A wave of nerves tip toe down my spine,

Tearing my mind into pieces
Thoughts are scattering around,
Blemishing the good thoughts
Peeling away the flesh of my sanity,
Revealing layers of my anxiety

Losing sight of what’s right
A misunderstanding of my identity,
A willingness to be distant
From the people I love dearly

#anxiety #****** #assualt #harressment #trust #disloyal

GraciexJones Oct 2018

Defeating Anxiety and Fear

The two brothers wait for me arrive home,
They call themselves Anxiety and Fear,
Fear with his grimace smile,
Welcomes me in with his rigid glare,
He takes one look at me,
Reminds me I am vulnerable and fragile,
Anxiety plays along,
With his insolent tone,
Tells me I am an ignorant fool,
Mocking me of my wisdom,
Fear reminds me I am blind,
I know deep down they are right,

Fear is talking with a big smile to Anxiety,
The two brothers begin to laugh as I sit and calculate,
My heart begins to ache,
Anxiety points out the truth,
I can’t deny how I went wrong,
Fear places his hands on my shoulders,
I start to cry as I am unable to conceal these thoughts,
He whispers in my ear he will always be there,
Anxiety places his hands in mine
He always said one day I will suffer
No one to save you,
Like vultures they begin to circulate,
I must stay calm,

I rise firm to my feet,
So you want to mess with me?
Fear retreats to the corner and hisses,
It doesn’t matter what you have to say,
How long you keep these thoughts at bay,
Anxiety continues to linger around,
Analysing every inch and sound,

I was naïve and innocent to follow to your dark psyche,
Fear attempts to shut me up,
Yelling nonsense in my ear,
Anxiety joins in playfully,
Twisting and turning my stomach,

I take a deep breathe,
I will not follow blindly to the devil in disguise,
I will not tolerate these fears and let them ride me,
I will not let anxiety take over my strive,
My devotion will be dedicated to creativity and insanity,
You are just made believed.

The two brothers wince at my capability to be brave,
Anxiety recoils and hallows a piercing shriek,
Fear grimaces and spits venom at me,
I catch the venom and throw it back at Fear,
I owe you nothing

#fear #anxiety #depression #courage #bravery #selfconcious

GraciexJones Sep 2018

Matilda

Day after day her sanity peels away,
Living to fight another day,
Her hunger stirs inside once more,
Murky shirt is hanging loose,
Her face and hair covered in grime and dirt,
Clothes ripped and worn,
Her skin is withered and torn,
Physically craving meal,
Weighing 10 Stones lighter,
Sockless and penniless,

Time keeps slipping away,
Feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders,
She lays there on the hard concrete floor,
Feeling scared and alone
Looking over her shoulder,
Terrible fears plague her,
In this place she calls her home town,

Strangers walk by gawking,
Analysing her vulnerability,
Criticizing her capability,
Paralyzed by her identity,

Stability is what she is hoping for,
A facility that puts bread on the table,
But the system shuns her away once more,
She grasps onto her faith in fear it will start to crumble,
A sense of purpose to stay alive

She sees a familiar man standing by her side,
He offer’s his hand with a welcoming promise and smiles with a high-spirited expression,
A sense of warmth and belonging races through her body,
She traces his wrinkles on his face,
His eyes are hazel-nut brown,
His hair and beard is frosty white,
She recognizes his smell from when she was a child,
A scent of incense and lavender,

He gently rests her cheek in his hands,
Sadness fills up in his eyes,
He glimpses into her shattered soul,
The grief which had burnt a hole,
The anguish deep inside,
Tears trickle down his face,
There a stands a man of her heart

Homeless victim in Brighton street

#homeless #malilda #streets #poor #poverty

GraciexJones Sep 2018

Battle – A constant debate

It feels like a battle,
Me and my mind,
I don’t want to be the kind to run and hide,
I hear myself quick to judge,
Not only myself but others

I want to be kind and strong,
Adapt to society,
Be comfortable in the skin I walk in,
Protest for my rights and equality,
Raise my fist,
Stand up for what I believe in,
Without being afraid anymore

Instead I look at myself in the eye,
Wonder why I am so flawed.
I failed to see the wild flower inside,
Full of ambition and desire,

Walking around holding my breath,
Repressing my natural feelings,
Supressing the layers of my ego,
Unwilling to follow my intuition,
Repetition of the same issues,
Waiting to be consoled,

I want to wake up.
Accept my place on this earth,
Thrive within my creativity,
Be a decent human being
Share my vulnerability,
Reflecting on my mentality,
Working through my past tragedy’s,
Reclaim my identity,
Get rid of the toxicity,

Recognize my flaws,
Break down these walls,
Reach out for communication

#self #belief #worth #conflict #mind #mental #health

GraciexJones Sep 2018

BALTERFEST

Breathing in the air of **** and hash,
Absorbing the levity atmosphere,
The sun glares down upon us,
Covered in sweat and mud,
Floating through the sound waves,
A dissonance of sounds,
Feeling like a wolf in the night,
An unhinged lunatic howling,
Thriving for a sense of freedom,

Dancing to the heavy bass,
Feeling the vibration from the stage,
Moving my body to the rhythm,
Creating moves, stretching my body, leaping
Twisting and turning with all my friends,
The bass drops and we pounce to the beat,
The crowd rouse and joyfully move their feet,
A glimpse of gracious placed upon everyone’s faces,
The moment is sweet and clear,
Wrapped up in a bubble of glee,
I never want to leave,

Adrenaline is pulsing through my body,
Amazed by the people I’m meeting,
Dazed by their oddity and individuality,
Hypnotize by their creativity and charm,
Eccentric personalities,
Majestic ensembles,
An honest conversation of TOxicity,
Of past stories twisted with our own memories,
Unique bonds moulding overnight,
A journey of finding one’s split soul,

Late morning belly laughter,
Bathed in a sweat of positivity,
Colliding with emotions of vulnerability,
Drum and Bass music still roaring at 4am,
Fleeting back and forth,
Slowly vanishing back to the camp site,
Reaching for the comfort of my tent,
I catch my breath and slip into in a state of serenity,
Echoes of squeals and laughter thunder in the background,
Sunlight radiating across my skin,
Warmth of content,
I slumber into a deep coma

#festival #dancing #adrenaline #**** #summer

— The End —