Michael Stefan

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

Materialize, **** you!
I claw at floorboards, fingers grow ******
I know you're here, waiting and watching
Wanting me to slip
Slip back into a sedated haze
Throwing myself away in a gilded dumpster
With ****** filigree to adorn
The walls hung with pictures to my past mistakes
But I will rip you out of me
And cast you into time and space
As you twist wicked tendrils around the next fool
With soft silky face you ******
The unwitting and unwilling to change
But I will change myself
If I have to take steel spades and dig you out of my heart
I would rather lie ****** on filthy bedsheets
As cold shivers climb through my bones
Then let you grip me again
And bury me in black tar dreams

Yep. I know.

#addiction #recovery

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

Celebration

Today is a day unlike any other day
You finally took your hurtful words
Got in your car and drove away

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

love's lost resolve

i shoulda
woulda coulda
stayed and fought
your screams
grew too angry
your temper grew too hot
you brandished
cruel mistakes made
like serrated knives
i fled and hid
knees buckling
at this domestic strife
i swore
i'd grow the strength
to come back inside
but never did
my backbone grow
my resolve just up and died
i wish
i was more powerful
and clung to you so tight
but i just
got into my truck
and drove away that night

A simple rhyme scheme to express those moments when you fail to push through the pain and strife and tell someone what they mean to you, to say "I'm sorry", and to let them take out their frustrations with you.

#distress #cowardly #brokenhearted #lovestory #breakup #poetry

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

Time

I watch kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall
I've seen you live a thousand lives
And witnessed every awkward kiss in two-door hatchbacks
I've seen every fist thrown in anger
And every expression of love through art
I've seen every tyrant rise to power
And every act of a strong people pull them down in chains
Then they rise to an ultimate greatness
And although the pattern always repeats
I rather enjoy the last one

A hopeful look at immortality

#greatness #immortal #eternity #time #fightthepower #change #makechanges #expression

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

Mechanical Hearts

01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101

Expressed through a galvanized circulation system
Increase lubrication and lower friction
Temperature rises in the generator core
Coolant system is online, watch the gauges, Paul
Apply power to the speaker system
Recalculate the algebraic expression, remember to factor
Translate message:

01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101... I love you

This was just something dumb I wrote during computer coding in college a long time ago. I think it's kind of dumb, but still, intend on sharing everything that I have amassed over these long years. I hope you guys like this lunacy lol.

#robot #love

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

No End to the Line

I've contemplated it, wrote it, pondered it
Cried out for it, and attempted it you see

I keep all my ropes now in the garage
There they are of greater use to me

I moved the radio from the bathroom
I now prefer classic melodies

I put my razors behind the mirror
I'm gonna let my hair get shaggy

And all my pills went down the toilet
And there they can't bother me

I used to lock away these horrid thoughts
But to heal I must set them free

I won't lie and say the thought doesn't still come
Like a quiet thief in the night with a loaded gun
There will always be this darkest part of me
But now I try to share my thoughts in forms of poetry

And I hope there is no end to the line for us

Not much I wanna say about this. I figure you guys get the point.

#life #hope #support #friends #suicideprevention #seesomethingsaysomething #care #askforhelp #poetry #bekind

Michael Stefan Feb 2020

A long goodbye

Her tears soak my shoulder
As her grip grows ever tight
Her daddy got a new job
No longer working longest nights
I utter just a sniffle
As my hand glides along her back
So much more than a friend
Is leaving on those steel train tracks
That moment drags on forever
As she reminds me what we've been through
And abruptly she grabs her things and leaves
And I'll never get the chance to say
"I love you"

Goodbye Jody

#love #loss #missingyou #relationship #childhood #crushes #tellthemhowyoufeel #life #challenges