thinking back now
you are gone, now
no more birthdays to celebrate
no more parties to cheer on
no more jokes to laugh at
together with you
no more you
no more me too

can I have
just a day of our time
maybe a walk in the park
or a coffee with heavy talk
just a moment of us
watching comedy on YouTube
laughing until we choke an icecube
just a ceremony for you or me
when I exchange vows with him
or when your son turned three
just one
just one more
of you,
brother

nightmare kissed me
until I wake up
with swell on my eyes
and thunderbolt in my chest
cause though you're not around
I still recall your kind face
but I wonder how can
the sun still smiles without you
like any other pretty days?
then it got me thinking,
one day,
will I be
*forgotten too?

When in the chronicle of wasted time
I see descriptions of the fairest wights,
And beauty making beautiful old rhyme
In praise of ladies dead, and lovely knights,
Then, in the blazon of sweet beauty’s best,
Of hand, of foot, of lip, of eye, of brow,
I see their antique pen would have expressed
Even such a beauty as you master now.
So all their praises are but prophecies
Of this our time, all you prefiguring;
And, for they looked but with divining eyes,
They had not skill enough your worth to sing.
    For we, which now behold these present days,
    Have eyes to wonder, but lack tongues to praise.

My heart ached for a piece of the cake
i tried to take the whole thing, that was a mistake
it's hard to just be patient and wait
when you crave what's beyond your fate

in dire straits i face what's on my plate
what a nightmare a dream can make
i sort it out and lay it all straight
when there's nothing to give, there's nothing to take

I loved you in the blue hour
Green eyes over the table
Clean laundry and winter haze
I'm obsessed with your half smile
Quiet intent this is fragile
But this is how I fall
Late nights spent wondering after your clean lines
Soft skin cold light and I cant get enough
Wonder where it lands in the morning
Tripping deeper under grey skies in the afternoons
And this is it
Catch up on various afternoons I get lost in your pauses
Rough around my edges you make yourself at home
We could live like this
And this just the beginning
As you tangle your hands in my spine we're tangling deeper into:
Disbelief lack of sleep as you're next to me
Sit back sigh in unholy feelings I'm green and gold to your touch
And you're dark blue and grey rolling in the wake of the year of instability
Well liked and rounded yet you're coming round me
The thought of you breaks me
And I'm six feet off the floor
We Clean up you take me out and tell them all I'm your girl
Summer nights and new wine tentative dependency is our world
And with every twist of your neck or subtle laugh I'm back at your hands
Open
Naïve
And brusing blush and wine
This is how I fall
Into your open hands
Cinematic and young
I can't tell where we're headed but I know just how I'll land
Even if I'm unsure of you I am who I am
And I'm yours for the blue hour.

Desiring a child,
softness of skin
revealing the tenderness
of their hand in mine.
Stroking the beauty of innocence
that of yet is not tainted by
the sins of this present world.
Overtaken by the righteous indignation
of protection,
possessing the fierceness of the lioness of her cub,
not allowing any evil into there world.
Mother, breathing strength to encompass
the purity and virtue of her beautiful baby.
Rocking in the darkness of night,but it is
distinguished by the light of those eyes,
looking up at you while giving them warmth and
sustenance.
Please Lord,bless my womb so I may bear a child.
I want to be overwhelmed with love for them.
Compelled to mother their needs,
while being permeated by their love for me.
Please Lord bear me with a strong will,
while I wait for my Precious child.