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MaiMai Aug 2019
Unity
Why does it mean so much?
Why does it matter that it should be amongst us, between friends, in families, our congregation, neighborhood communities
Let's think about the word unity again
The first three letters stop look closely
U. N. I
You and I
It's Ironic how that works
We can't go anywhere with our relationship with the people we love without this next statement in mind
Humans creation was designed to be a continuous population and togetherness Yet we always find a way to remain separated. Is it possible you could look deep in your heart and soul and find you need me just as much as I need you.
The topic of unity isn't just one underlying issue. It involves communication
When you're happy and feel you have to celebrate, send me a text
Call when you're sad because I know you battle with being depressed
Tell me about your fears no I can't take them away I'm not Jehovah but understand I'm here. Or even when we have a disagreement
How am I supposed to know your upset
It's not supernatural
I don't speak telepathical
I feel like khalid. Can you just talk to me?
Tell me how your feeling voice your opinions that's what's wrong with society. You know why because the lack unity
Patience is also key but that's another song for a different time. We're towards the end **** before I go this is what you should know
Coming together is a begining
Keeping together is progress, working together is success
Without unity there can be no strength
  Mar 2019 MaiMai
Joliver
If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?
  Mar 2019 MaiMai
Poetress2
For all that I am,
and all I will be;
God has a great plan,
and a purpose for me.
~
While the Earth, still void,
I was on His mind;
As He was creating,
this (One of a kind.)
~
I am special indeed,
God formed me this way;
He was the Potter,
and I was the Clay.
~
In His own image,
I was made to be;
Unlike any other,
I'm completely unique.
MaiMai Mar 2019
Ember burning bright.
Born for destruction or born for light?

Can someone hate their creation?  Because I'm afraid of my own design. What I may be capable of. In a snap of a finger my ember can spark destroying what is and was.
"You're loved" is what you say but you can't get it though your brain. I'm impotent to my strength.

You don't want to look at me, don't look at me. You run away from me, run away from me. I am aware of my aftermath toxic smoke so it's ok. I know I cause nothing but heartache.

Beware because I've been known to ruin lives.
Use caution, I might spark into a raging fire
Be careful if you make me to happy I might burn you alive. Causing spiritual death leaving people shattered, trying to pick pieces, due to me forgetting about my hazard.

The word gentle isn't in my mental vocabulary. My touch, my touch is dangerous. It's warm at first, almost comforting in the beginning but the longer you hold me the more I singe. I don't want to cause you sanity. So stay away, far from my ember, in fear your oxygen will ignite this fire.

Embers burning bright
Born for destruction or born for light?
look at me in the eye then you decide.
  Mar 2019 MaiMai
Iskra
Laying in my bed curled up
Acid in my throat because I didn’t eat
Clenching my fists around my blankets because I can’t sleep

Are you thinking of me?
Laying in a tent, uncomfortably,
Snuggling close to your fluffy white dog or your younger brother to stay warm.

Are you missing me?
No. Not the way I’m missing you
You’re not thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you
And though it means the world to me that a beautiful soul like yours is friends with a storm cloud like me, it shatters my heart into thousands of sharp, jagged pieces that you’re
~ just ~
my friend.

“I’m sorry but I need to know, is it mutual? It’s alright if it’s a no, I can handle it, I just want you...to be honest”
A pause...
Then the raindrop falls.
“Right now, it’s a no”

Ripples.
Right now.
Right now.
Right now.
No.
No.
No.
STOP.
I care about you so much, I know I need to let you go, so you would never read this, and I would never show anyone this.
It’s all swirling around in my chest, faster and faster until it explodes, word ***** and tears.
I love you.

I didn’t tell you I loved you, only that I had feelings for you.
Why bother? It would’ve made things more painful for me, more bitter for you.

But I can’t show you this.
I don’t want you to change.
I don’t want you to change the way you speak to me, to change your mind when you’re about to type a heart emoji,
to stop yourself after just saying “goodnight” and leave out the “baby”

This is my undoing, not yours, and I want you to keep letting me be your anchor, your shoulder, your shield, my open arms waiting to catch you when you tumble from your flight.
I can’t keep loving you, I can’t stop loving you.
I want to stop feeling at all.
Thank you all so much for all your compassion and the amazing comments. Your kindness brought me to tears. I’d send hugs and healing (if I could) to those of you who commented because you’re experiencing the same thing right now, and I promise you, even though it hurts like hell now, it does get better.
  Feb 2019 MaiMai
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
  Jan 2019 MaiMai
andromeda green
Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.
just a reminder that everything gets better folks. please, please hang in there. i believe in each and one of y'all.

UPDATE: thank you so so so much for 51k. the overwhelming amount of comments and messages and loves make me feel so happy to spread this poem. thank you.
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