In the end we are just
two people hanging off
the edge of a cliff,
the edge where your body
meets mine, burnt now,
charred black, like bread
you forgot you were baking,
in the oven of our hearts,
we sit, hand in hand, daring
to hope that our lives are
like a Phoenix, waiting
to rise from ashes,
these are the ashes that
they place in jars and watch
for decades, dusted
back to their stone
root, in these pastel
coloured pots we are
held, hands clasped,
trapped in the moment
before we fell into
the sea

they laugh at my use of the word 'feminism'
it makes me different, makes me unique.
a woman asking for a voice is like a child asking for a gun.

they cringe at my use of the word 'feminism'
it means i am angry, means i must be gay.
a woman demanding respect is like a beggar asking for more than you're comfortable giving.

i want to feel safe,
i want to be acknowledged,
i want to be valued,
to be seen as a whole person,
not an object of ****** desire-
a mother,
a wife.

i want to go a day without my validity being questioned,
but i am just a girl,
and that's not how things work.

this little girl
has grown, you know.

not in a cute way, though.
she has grown
like a gross building, soon
abandoned, but never to be haunted.

this girl carries no mystery,
even with her eyes
she stares blankly like a puddle.

she still dreams about the sea sometimes.

this little girl
is still a little girl, only now
her body is inflated and
the pure thing is a bit spoiled.

this little girl has never been
fine anyway.

I wake up each day
With sadness in my eyes
Sun peeking through the curtains
It’s my time to rise

Getting out of bed is as much as I can do
Tears flowing down my cheek over losing you

I keep going on
With a smile on my face
Wanting no part of this human race

Without you in my world
There is no reason to live
Besides grief and depression
I have nothing to give

Forgive me, dear mother,
For I am dead.
Inside and out.
I can't feel the pyre,
Or the cold grave.

Forgive me, dear father,
This is the day you dread.
I know this is not how it works
I am tired.
You'll just have to wait.

Forgive me, dear brother,
I know you've left.
You have your own
Disasters to live,
I wont be another day.

Forgive me, dear friend,
It is you I've bothered
Every time I was smothered
By the thoughts in my head.
Freedom is on its way.

Forgive me, dear lover,
For I put the noose
around your neck,
Every time I felt dead.
I have to set you free, let you stay.

Forgive me, dear stranger,
You don't need to read this,
I will be gone,
None of this will matter.
You will see a better day.

She prowled into my territory
looking for my hidden things.
She was quiet like a panther
thinking I could not see.
I knew my things had been touched
I could feel her energy in my space.
Little did she know
I was a fox
just looking for my bait.

Skip dinner
to be thinner  
   Don't make a mistake
say you just ate
  Stand on the scale
To see you have failed

An eyelash on my cheek.
I caught it and blew it.
With the wind.
A star shoots across the sky.
I tied a knot.
A four-leaf clover.
I almost stepped on it.
11:11.
Says my Casio digital watch.
A coin lying on the sidewalk.
I flipped it down the well.

Fingers crossed.
Eyes closed.

I feel lucky.
I wish for you.