First time lover for life,
What would things have been like,
If we had never said goodbye.
Where would we be now,
If you were still my dearest closest friend,
If all good things never came to an end.
I know that you moved on,
and respectfully so did I,
but I can't help to question
the grander purpose of our connection,
However brief it might have been.
You impacted me in ways,
I can hardly comprehend.
All those times you would stand for me,
When I felt weak,
Thanks to you I'm stronger than I ever thought I'd be.

All my dreams have given up on me,
But I won't, I'll never give up on them.
Karma doesn't seem to want me to succeed,
But I'll keep fighting till I finally break free.
I'll keep singing, you can't stop me from screaming,
I won't shut up till you let me speak my mind.
I'm not in control of my life and I want it back,
Stop judging my character by the things I lack.

I asked you to **** me quick,
You told me that you already tried,
And all your assassin's had failed.
And I'd have taken a gun to my head,
A long time ago accept that,
You made me promise to stick around.

I'm too young to be a burnout,
I'm too young to hurt this much.
They're teaching me how to learn,
I'm teaching myself to breathe,
While I'm pretending not to drown.

I've stopped sleeping and I've forgot how to dream,
It makes it hard to think for myself.
And I should've listened when they said,
Don't give your heart to the first pretty stranger,
Because they took it and ran and now,
I can't remember how to feel.

I lost you in the count down.
Became focused on the end.
You needed me to trust you,
But I put my trust in pain.

Wish I'd thrown my mind away,
It never had nice things to say.
All my fears and all of my doubts,
Magnify and empower my faults.

Let me sing till my wounds go numb,
I need to scream till his voice is gone.
With so many like me, I feel so alone.
So many like me, we all fear to get close.

In my weakness I find my strengths,
I find my ability to suffer with grace.
All of the burdens that held me down,
Became what I used to mend my crown.

It's ironic because I remember,
You promised to stick around.
But here I am, and I am alone.
All I wanted was a friendship,
That I thought would never end.
How could you tell me that we,
Would be okay when we never speak.
This knife in my back would hurt
less if you had sharpened it first.
And we were so close to glory,
When you had decided to leave.
I feel like a substitute for a feeling,
You couldn't produce on your own.
And now here I am, and I am alone.
I remember when you thought,
we could have a chance but,
I told you not to give us a second glance.
I hated it when you called me lovely,
But I'd give everything to hear,
you just say something now.
I regret taking the small things for granted,
When I'd give anything for just one moment.
Because it feels like the emptiness you left behind,
Weighs more than the world on my sholders.

I regretted it when I'd talk too much,
And you regretted it when you didn't say enough.
I still never managed to say it,
But somehow you found the breath to say goodbye.

You haven't left my mind since you left my side.

Goodbye never used to make me cry, till I woke up and realized goodbye could last forever.

I hate you but I'll die before the day comes that I stop loving you.

You were my umbrella in the sun.

I hated you for being a hero, but you were just doing the best you could.

You became my reason to hold on, when I should have been my reason to stay strong.

It feels like you're dead, but you're still answering my texts.

I promised myself I wouldn't talk to you, I guess you were right to call me a fool.

And they're all telling me I'm pretty, but they haven't seen my mind.

You never liked it when I called you Superman.

You despised yourself, and I never understood why.

I don't know why you tried to save me, when you couldn't save yourself.

If I close my eyes,
I can see my grave from the inside.
My fears leave me tongue tied,
And the dark leaves me terrified.
I wish I could think straight but my minds gone blind…
To my future.

At two in the morning,
everything looses meaning.
You haven't slept for days,
and maybe the lack of sleep,
helps take away from the sting
of the blade against your wrist.
You're covered in late night agonies,
that only turn into daytime lies.

When I was a little girl, it didn’t hurt so much that I didn’t have friends. I was too young to understand that being alone wasn’t normal. I didn’t know what being attached to someone was like. I always just depended on myself. Now that I’m older, and I see all these people. They all have someone. And I’ve only gotten mockingly close. Close enough to briefly taste what it’s like not to be alone. What it’s like to have someone help you counter the voices in your head. I got just close enough to realize that I was missing out. Enough to realize how dysfunctional I am. I am not capable of being with people. But I also know now that I don’t want to be alone.

You told me it was bad to need people,
So I felt sick the day I realized I needed you.
And you'll be gone for a month, next week,
And I wonder if she's keeping you warm.
I wonder if she's in your arms at night.
I wonder if she's why you don't text back.
And I wonder, if you need her, and maybe,
That's why you decided to leave this place.

Oh beloved, courageous warrior,
What heartbreak have you faced?
What terrors turned your heart so cold,
That you hide from loves embrace?
Kindness has abandoned you,
And hatred’s took its place.
Your mind so full of hurtful words,
It’s overflowed upon your wrists.

Stop living your life like it's a fairytale.
Because this is the real world,
Wishes and happy endings don't magically come true.
And maybe in other countries, princesses still exists,
But this is America, the land of promise!
And I'm starting to realize that your promises,
Didn't mean a thing.
If I were a castle,
Then you smashed my windows.
And the words "I never really loved you"
Landed like the broken shards of glass on my skin.
And... I got those windows fixed,
But they are not the same windows I looked through when I was first built.
They're smaller and thicker,
So that when you come back around,
They will withstand the boulders you catapult at my walls.
There's no such thing as valiant Knights.
Only dragons.
And it's up to you to save yourself.

She's got a pale face and perfect lips.
She's got mermaid hair and pretty hips.
I can only wish to look like this.

I'm held by too many restrictions.
She's able to feed your ambitions.
There's nothing of me you'll ever miss.

I’m stuck at the bottom of the ocean,

Wondering if I could drown in emotions.

Got cut on the broken shards of my heart,

I’ve got monsters trying to tear me apart.

There’s a battle raging inside my head,

So don’t be surprised I’m looking so dead.

I need a hero who knows how to swim,

My thoughts are filling my mind to the brim.

The pressure in my skull keeps me controlled,

Can’t let it out, there’d be destruction untold.

I swear my heart stopped beating long ago.

My brain’s broken and it’s starting to show.

Memories took their toll on me,

Left scars you’re never going to see.

So please believe me when I say,

I won’t ever feel things the same way.

I was broken, and I got used.

I got shattered, and I’m still bruised.

I made a sacrifice to keep you happy

So I gave up my precious sanity.

I won’t be making that mistake again,

If what I know now could be known back then.

I wish I could’ve warned myself to run,

Maybe avoid all the damage that’s been done.

Please keep me warm till the summertime comes,

But I can’t breathe with water in my lungs.

Show me that I’m still capable to love.

I’m not perfect, but maybe I’m enough.

I’m empty inside, I’m a fresh new slate,

Can’t change my past, and I don’t like my fate

SING IT FOR US, HEROES,
HIDING BEHING OUR HEADPHONES,
HOPING MAYBE YOU WON'T NOTICE,
THE DAMAGE OF THIS PSYCHOSIS.
WE ARE SO MUCH STRONGER ON THE OUTSIDE,
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DIGNIFIED.

We just want to be heroes,
Trying to drown out our demons with our headphones.
Nothing we want to gain,
Don't want fame, just want these words to be proclaimed.
We break our bones to save our friends,
We're full of broken promises and good intents.

We're the guardians of dreams,
But we find it hard to continue to breathe,
We're hiding behind scars,
Our purpose is carved in the cracks in our hearts.
We're trying to conceal our fears,
Paint ourselves in black and white, let it smear.

SING IT FOR US, HEROES,
HIDING BEHING OUR HEADPHONES,
HOPING MAYBE YOU WON'T NOTICE,
THE DAMAGE OF THIS PSYCHOSIS.
WE ARE SO MUCH STRONGER ON THE OUTSIDE,
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DIGNIFIED.

We are the social rejects,
Trying to mask our pain in the words we express.
Nothing else we want,
Don't want to be noticed, just want to share these thoughts.
We mend the hopes of our comrades,
Push them two steps forward to fall five steps back.

We're the protectors of courage,
But we're overlooked by the most observant.
We're not invisible,
But you can't see that we're individual.
We're just trying to continue,
But we're fighting the battles that you never knew.

SING IT FOR US, HEROES,
HIDING BEHING OUR HEADPHONES,
HOPING MAYBE YOU WON'T NOTICE,
THE DAMAGE OF THIS PSYCHOSIS.
WE ARE SO MUCH STRONGER ON THE OUTSIDE,
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DIGNIFIED.

You run your fingers along the strings,
To produce a sound that's like magic to me.
Those are the moments I like you best.
I watch as you're swept away by your music,
I watch the melody flows from your very soul,
Your eyes focus in and out,
And I know you're in another world.
I'm captivated by every strum, every chord,
Falling in love with your pure passion.

I don't know you,
No, we've never met.
But I've seen the carnage,
In the beautiful heart you wrecked.

I do know this,
We all make promises we can't keep,
But why'd you have to break the ones,
That prevent him from trusting me.

Could it be?
No. It couldn't.
But maybe?
No. Probably not.
You pick me up,
And swing me around.
But no. It isn't real.
It's all in my head.
It's all in my head!!
But, what if it isn't?
No. It is. I'm seeing things.
Am I? Is there something?
Something in his eyes,
Something I can't see?
No. Don't get your hopes up.
Stupid girl, he's not into you.
But could he be?
No. Of course not.
Have you seen yourself?
Take a look in the mirror.
There nothing for him here,
Take a step back into the real world,
And forget these fantasies.
Break your own heart, get over it.
He can't see you. Get used to being alone.
But, they say he likes m-
NO. STOP IT. IT'S NOT REAL.

Why do I reach for the unattainable?
Why do I love the things that will never love me back?
Why do I need the things I cannot get?
Why can't I make you see that you mean so much to me?
Why can't I just tell you that you make me happy?
Why can't I tell you that I can't breathe when you're gone?
Why can't I tell you that I think you're perfect?
Why can't I just say that you saved me?
Why can't I just say that I can't last without you?
Why can't I just say it?
Why can't I just tell you, I love you?
Maybe it's because, I know deep down inside,
That I'm nothing to you, I'm just another girl.
I'm just another one of your admirers,
Another star struck broken heart.
And maybe I am. And I hate it.

Hello little girl.
It's me again,
The monster in your head.
It's been awhile,
Since I've paid you a visit.
The presents I left on your arms,
Have long since faded.
Pretty little girl,
Don't you know?
You can't escape this.
You gave me your soul,
You signed the deed on your wrist.

Crossing beside a gravestone path
as the sky closes in
Foot falls meet with deaf ears
and the clouds open up
Looking over the regrown grass
Where the rain came down
Where I know youd be looking back
In the fog we drown

You never told me
and now its too late
you werent the only victim
why couldnt you wait?

Open to me,
we could both breathe
You breathe through me
please speak wholly!
Open to me!

Please dont fool me!
Don't undo me
You have to speak
Now, speak through me
Open to me!

A path between old headstones
A suffering you didnt know!
If tears furnish the weeds
On the trail growing
Better than the water
from you to me
the path outlined
To your souless tomb
will grow stronger
Please make room!

Open to me,
we could both breathe
You breathe through me
please speak wholly!
Open to me!

Please dont fool me!
Don't undo me
You have to speak
Now, speak through me
*Open to me!

Words ricochet inside my brain,
I can't find a way to block the pain.
With their every punch, their every threat,
The closer to the edge I get.
They lace a noose around my neck,
Their swords at my back, it's an upward trek.

Fighting for a chance to survive,
Without enough light to really thrive.
My wrists are tied, my mouth is gagged,
My soul's in tatters, my mind is shagged.
My heart has broken into unfixable pieces,
I'm running out of hope, I need more reasons.

Throw me behind bars, take away my freedom,
Someday you will pay for what you have done.
You tore off my wings, because you wanted to fly,
You took away my pride, stole me away from my sky.
So beware, someday I'll break free from these chains,
And I will laugh in your face, for my glory is your bane.

Promises don't mean a thing to me,
Don't pollute the air with your empty wishes,
Make a move, show me that you'll fight for me,
Cause I'm questioning your alliances,
Show me you've got a heart,
Don't tell me that you love me.

Broken promises make broken hearts,
I know, I've been at both ends.
Don't lie to me, we know this never lasts.
Fate will cut my strings, and you'll be left alone.
I won't promise you a thing,
But I'm fighting back, I'm trying.

Frozen, but at least I'm not going in reverse,
Still I need to go somewhere, get out of this place.
I'm on fire, I'm burning bright,
Don't put me out, I'm scared of the dark.
Douse me in kerosene,
And let me burn.

Can you see me now?
Is my voice finally being heard?
I've got a feeling I'm being ignored,
Until you need someone to judge.
Did you see me in the light of glory,
Or am I only being noticed now?
Can you only see what meets the eye?

I will not let you define me.
I will not be defined by you.
I have my scars, but I'm alive.
Don't you know I feel too?
I'm not like you, no, I'd never be cruel.
I'm fighting to survive,
Yeah, everyday's the usual duel.
But I'm not like you, no, I'd never be cruel.

I'm better than this, don't you know?
I'm not gonna let myself sink so low.
I've got a feeling you've got it hard,
But you have to fight your pain,
Don't take it out on me, cause I can't take it.
You'll look back on this, and you'll regret,
Every word you said, every empty threat.

I will not let you define me.
I will not be defined by you.
I have my scars, but I'm alive.
Don't you know I feel too?
I'm not like you, no, I'd never be cruel.
I'm fighting too,
Yeah, everyday is a usual duel.
But I'm not like you, no, I'd never be cruel.

I've got better things to do,
I've got better things to do,
I will not be controlled by you,
No, not by you.

Well here I am again,
Pushing away my friend.
Trying to break free,
Of everything hurting me.
A bullet to the head,
Not one single tear shed.
Falling apart inside,
Trying to run, nowhere to hide.

I think I'm falling in love.
Falling hurts.
If I want to fall,
I'll just jump off a building.
Same results.
The fear,
the rush of adrenaline,
The euphoria,
the pain,
and then,
the nothing.

But what if this time,
What if it's different?
But it couldn't be,
Because you don't see me.
But I see you,
I see you entirely.
I see your imperfections,
And I see your doubts,
And I except your limitations.
I think you're beautiful.
But you can't see me.
The look I get,
When I stare into your eyes,
The small smile.
It's only me.
I'm alone,
At the verge of free fall.

It’s been three months.

I’ve finally excepted it,

That you’re really gone.

Still, it hurts me inside.

Did you have any clue?

I freakin miss you, girl.

You were my best friend.

I trusted you, so why?

I always tend to wonder,

If I’d crossed your mind,

But inside I know I didn’t.

If you had, you’d be here,

Because you’d remember.

How I’d fought for you,

And you’d fought for me.

But you had forgotten,

As you let your soul be free.

The worst thing about love,
No.
The worst thing about real love,
Is that you give someone,
Your whole entire heart,
And no matter how bad you want,
You won't ask for anything in return.

I am sick of being a casualty of this money war.

More doctors, more tests.
More pain, less rest.
False hopes, crushed dreams.
More tears, torn at the seams.

Είναι δύσκολο να πιστέψει κανείς, όταν μου λέτε ότι είμαι όμορφη,
Μετά από χρόνια που είναι γνωστή ως ένα άσχημο παπάκι,
Πάω να πρέπει να μάθουν πώς να είναι ένας κύκνος για εσάς.
Μετά από χρόνια hurtful λόγια μαθαίνω να δούμε πέρα ​​από τις πληγές μάχης,
Μαθαίνω να βλέπω τον εαυτό μου μέσα από τα μάτια σας.

It's hard to understand,
When you tell me I'm beautiful.
After years of being known,
As an ugly duckling,
I'm going to have to learn,
How to be your swan.
After years of hurtful words,
I'm learning to see past
The battle wounds
Time has barely scabbed.
I'm learning to see myself,
Through your eyes,
As beautiful.

I refuse to cry.
No, not this time.
As the pain rolls over me,
I suppress the horrid screams.
I will not succumb to the demons.
No, I will not let them wreck my dream.
I will not cry.
Will not be weak.
I will be strong.
I. Will. Be. Strong.

I'm grasping at the ropes,
Trying to keep you moored.
Even though the smoke of hopes,
Flame is long obscured.
It's hard to let go of what we had,
To forget the best of memories.
So I try to dry my tears and be glad,
As I let you sale 'cross your own seas.
The hardest thing you'll ever do,
Is let go of the one you love,
Or let go of someone who loved you.
And recognize the one above.
It's hard to see beyond this bend,
Still I do not glance behind,
For what is done, what has an end,
Is graven deeply in my mind.
But let these scars heal in time,
For pain does numb,
And focus on the forward climb,
And be the knight I have become.

It's hard to tell, but beneath my smile,
I struggle with each long stupid mile.
Each step I take is a mental battle.
It's hard to tell, I sit proud in my saddle.

I don't have the scars on my body,
No wars you can physically see.
It's all in my heart, my mind and my eyes.
I say I'm fine, I am the victim of my lies.

I cry at night, alone with my demon.
It tears me apart, I have nowhere to run.
In the morning I'm brave, as I crawl out of bed.
Because the demons are there, they stay in my head.

It's time to come out,
To tell my story.
I've waited too long,
It's time to speak up.
Starting with their words,
And ending with my thoughts.
starting with the fists to my face,
And the claws to my arms.
It started like a game.
I was a child playing battle,
But it turned into survival.
A fight to live, a fight for will.
Begging myself for one more day,
Begging myself for a reason to stay.
This battle still goes on, inside my head.
It's a survival game, with no rules.
It's playing cards with the devil,
He's expected to cheat.
It was hating myself,
And hating myself for hating myself.
It was being proud of my scars,
But ashamed of how they got there.
It was begging to die, but desperate to live.
It was needing to be loved,
But feeling like your scars are too ugly,
And your heart too empty.
It's feeling worthless, and being broken.
It's cutting your worth into your skin,
Because pain makes you strong, brave, hard,
But it makes you ugly, ashamed, quiet, alone.
It makes them talk behind your back,
About what they've seen,
But never what they ignore.
It's wanting people to know,
But not wanting to say it out loud,
Because that makes it real.
It becomes the truth.
And you can't handle it.

I never told anyone.
I kept it all a secret,
Written on my arms.
It's hard to think,
That someone cares.
I think I still hate myself,
I'm still tempted by the pain,
Then I think of your face,
And the disappointment there,
If you only knew what I'd done,
To fight the battle.
If you understood the scars,
If you knew the reasons.
My scars are poetry,
They hold a story.
I know the past of each.
I wish I had the courage,
To speak up, bare my scars.
I make up stories,
About why they're there.
I say something stupid,
No one ever suspected.
They still don't.
But my body aches to tell.
For someone to listen.
If they truly looked,
They'd see it was already written,
On my arms.

What if every one was forced to see,
The world exactly, even just like me?
A world where all, think as one,
A world where peers chose who we become,

What if it was wrong to love,
If we lacked the freedom to rise above?
The tragedy of a forbidden word,
Cages the mind like a wingless bird.

The human mind is meant to wonder,
We need to be free, we need to ponder.
If the world was thrown into darkness,
Nothing would grow and be reduced to hardness.

We need to know,
We need to grow.
We need to love.
And we will rise above.

What if one person chose to know?
What if one person desired to grow?
What if one persons heart sought love?
What if that person rose above?

We are each unique,
God gave us power to speak,
We should use our gift,
To teach and up lift

I think I'll write a happy poem,
All filled with happy cheer.
And try to push out of my mind,
The thoughts of you, my dear.

So I'll write of flowers and birds,
And quiet moonlit nights,
Still I won't think a thought of you,
Instead I'll focus on the lights.

I'll write about strength or hope,
And about surviving wars,
But not once will I think of you.
Or about those broken doors.

I'll talk about surviving school,
And sealing up my scars,
Still I refuse to think of you.
As I put my heart behind it's bars.

I think I'll write about a boy,
Who to his love stayed true,
But all that does is make me think,
Of a boy a lot like you.

That didn't work the way I thought,
And I guess I think too much,
Cause I can't put you from my mind,
But you're just too far away to touch.

I hate those moments of false hope.
When I think things might actually work,
And the butterflies grow back their wings,
Only to have them torn away,
To become a caterpillar once more.

His girl
The worst feeling in the world,
Is watching him fall in love.
You see his tweets about his girl,
And the weight in your gut gets heavier,
As the dead butterflies sink to the bottom.
You'd think with all the tears you've cried,
You'd have started feeling lighter by now.
You see what he posts about miss perfect,
And you pray to GOD she's really worth it.
And you know that you had your chances,
And you know that you watched them go.
But that was back when you didn't know.
He changed his picture, it's not of you,
And you just know that he's changed too.
You can't do anything without remembering.
You forget and check your twitter again,
And you just see his tweets about his girl.
And it kills you to realize, that you're not,
His girl.

I want someone,
To finally notice,
To see my scars,
And love them.
But we all know,
It's impossible,
To find beauty,
In what we hate.
What we hate,
With a passion.
I want someone,
To touch my arm,
Hold me close,
And tell me to stop.
But all I get,
Are blank stares.
An "I'm sorry",
And "I didn't know."
When what I need,
Is to hear,
Someone say,
I love you,
No matter,
What.

I watch as tears well up in your eyes.
I watch as the love in you tender heart dies.
The world has turned on you,
It has ruined your view,
It has filled you head with nothing but lies.

To say I'm sorry isn't enough.
For the world has hurt you, and treated you rough.
But your so much stronger,
Hold on a while longer,
I know that it's hard, but war makes you tough.

I reach out my hand, and pull you close,
I know their words hurt, but my love only grows.
I will always be here,
So surrender your fear.
In my heart you can hide, as hard wind blows.

I wish I could save your soul tonight.
I wish I could take away all of your fright.
Here, darling, take my hand.
I'll hold you, help you stand.
Just take hold of my hand, and hold on tight.

Maybe I should just give up.
Let the storm beat me down,
Just stop the fight and don't get up?
Accept the night and drop my crown,
Let my lungs have one last breath,
Then bow my head and welcome death.

Maybe I should hold on tighter,
Continue to feel, head up high?
Take the sword and become a fighter,
Fight the fight and refuse to die?
So I take my helm and notch my arrow,
As I enter in on the strait and narrow.

They say that when a heart breaks,
A loving word is all it takes,
To heal a wound time only scabbed,
To bind together a heart that's stabbed.

Love so pure,
is the simplest cure,
to healing life long hate,
so oh why wait,
or take the bait,
of a life long snatching lure.

Positivity is a light,
To guide you through the dark,
so when clouds do come,
and block the sun,
may your candle still shine bright.

This is the place where I belong.
In this land of poems,
Is where I'm strong.
And although I do not know,
What must come and who must go,
This is the home of my strongest emotions.