One, Two, Three

Each stroke makes out another word,

I

am

sorry,

Hands shaking from every motion

Like an earthquake

Moves her hand

But

I

can't

She cries,

Tears staining her pages

take

any

more

Her eyes pray

That God himself will show mercy.

My baby girl walked into the cold night, alone
Left a ****** trail for me to follow
I found her body, both wrists were slit
Her body was like ice, the pain was a hard hit

Her blood pooled all over the stone,
It did look tempting, to try and follow
But to do so is an eternal mistake
Suicide, the worst death on offer from fate.

The blood had now become a Blood Lake,
Coupled with my tears, yet it all felt fake
"How can any of this be real?"
Through my chest, a searing pain did rake

I open my eyes, and look at the roof
My chest heaves, my heart in pursuit
All of this because I'm afraid of
Losing you.
Without you, I don't know what
I would do.

You won't feel the warmth of the sun on your shoulders again. You won't feel the grass in between your toes or the wind blow through your hair.
2. Someone will find your empty body, it will haunt them forever.
3. Your bestfriend will be hungover with sadness and grief.
4. You'll only turn into another sick statistic.
5. Beds are comfier than coffins.
6. Your city that you love so dearly will never be the same. It may continue to go on but they'll never forget.
7. You won't smell the crisp air of autumn or even feel free again.
8. Pain is temporary, happiness will find you again.
9. Holidays for your family will always be a painful reminder of what you did. That you aren't coming back.
10. You're important, Your life matters. You matter.

i wonder what they would feel if i were shot dead today.
i wonder would i still be here or is the afterlife overrated. ..
i know some people who will use my death for publicity
I remember thinking "**** no one misses me"
But that'll change when im gone

Is that truth or hope speaking?
Im not sure anymore.

Happiness and love are feelings i emote

Pretending i could actually feel those things when i know
deep down inside ive always been the darkest force

A movement within me is drawn to my own corpse.
to see myself lying there being lowered down six levels
with people crying and some tears are fake but ill let them
it excites me to think i will actually be celebrated
even if that means i wouldnt be there to celebrate it.
buried away for the world to only remember
even though im sure ill soon be forgotten

all that i need is one moment in the center

To feed the need for love and affection

If im dead will i get the recognition and the distance to close in?

If i get shot dead today
will i ever be missed?

I'm tired.
I'm tired of it taking more mental energy
and self confidence for us to go out in public,
than it does most people.
I don't blame a person, or religion,
its much more than that.
I blame society in general, its peer pressure,
It's structure designed to keep everyone
in small boxes, all thinking the same.
I blame manufacturer's for making every item
we buy gendered male or female,
Just to sell more and make more money.
I blame the media for its lies and ignorance
when reporting about us..
And I blame us is some ways for allowing it.
I blame myself for not doing more,
but I'm just too tired of fighting, struggling
and having to do it all again tomorrow.
I'm Transgender.. And I get tired.

by Lj Mark 2015

We break ourselves,
Trying to become whole.

The countless hours spent
Popping pills,
Smoking,
Drinking.
Just trying to fill in the cracks,
Between my fractured pieces.

Cutting
Crying
It was never enough
It never will be

"Stay strong"
I don't want to anymore.
My body wants to ease into the comfort
Of letting go.

Let me go.
Let me drift off
into the calm unknown void

The pain I cause
trying to mend my broken pieces.
Is no use.
I am broken.

Past the point of "damaged goods"
I've been at the bottom of the clearance bin
Inevitably to be thrown out
If only they'd remember I was here

Tears fall,
Blood oozes,
And I still feel empty.

Let me go
I want to give in.
My fractured soul
Can't be fixed.