kayla

kayla Aug 2017

I've tried ******* *** and various forms of *****-
*****, fireball, jack, and Malibu.
****, Xanax, speed and molly too.
But My drug of choice was always you.

You should come with a BOLD bright red warning label:

WARNING MAY CAUSE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS or,
MAY BREAK YOUR HEART.

No drug ever put me through what you did, locked me inside my own head, made me feel insane...

Your withdrawal symptoms are things I never thought I would have to endure but you come in the night and the dreams you leave keep me up for days in a way that vyvanse never could.

The photos on my walls, still yet to be removed demolish my very soul every morning that I
Simply open my eyes.

The saddest part is,
If you would just talk to me, once more,
I would  try to find a way to inject your words into me.
Try to find a way to not feel so
numb....or am I trying to feel more numb?

Please make me feel like me again,
My addiction.

kayla Aug 2017

Kings

You must lock the door and check it twice more:
3's for me.

Stop and check the windows too:
2's are for you.

Keep in mind the monsters outside, lest we let them in;
4's are for ******.

Turn the deadbolt until you hear it click, then do it again;
6 for *****.

Before you get in, check under your bed. But before falling asleep don't forget,
The real monsters are inside of your head.

#monsters #ocd #anxiety #nightmares #kings #cards

kayla Jul 2017

Some days

Some days I'm ok...
and some days i am not.

Like waking up and seeing I got an F
because somehow I forgot.

I dreamed of you last night,
just like each night before

It's only been a week,
but i'm broken at the core.

I don't know how to explain,
you left me, i'm in pain

Some days I'm okay...
but mostly I am not.

It's been a week today since I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. And I can't stop thinking about it. I see him every night in my dreams. I'm starting to forget what it felt like- him sleeping next to me.

#longdistance #love #heartbreak #sad #dreams

kayla Jul 2017

I'm sorry for another sad poem

I really am sorry
you see, I just

feel like I'm drowning
and I can't breathe.

An empty library at 4 am
Do you wanna know where my mind has been?

Geography of Ancient Egypt and the Near East,
my god I really hope he doesn't cheat.

Does representation in video games matter?
I don't think I've ever been sadder.

You must pass your classes if you want to stay here,
"You'll feel better after another beer"

you see
i don't think I'll make it out of this one,
you see,

I just,
I really am sorry.

#sad #deep #emotions #anxiety #depression

Jun 2017

Shay

She Lost The Battle

And with tears rolling down her blotchy red cheek,
she lies down in the middle of the battlefield, now so weak –
so tired of saving herself from the demons that haunt every fibre of her being,
she decides that welcoming her demise would be most freeing.

#depression #depressed #mentalhealth #ocd #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalillness #sadness #anxiety #suicide #suicidal #selfharm

kayla Jun 2017

You through the Looking Glass

when you feel like Alice
with no rabbit hole

take a look in a looking glass
and search for your soul.

You could stare and stare
with all your might,

But at the end of the look
There’s still no you in sight.

#alice #looking #glass #wonderland #mirror #soul

kayla Jun 2017

When it's over

When it's over
Tell them I was the girl who cried everyday
But also laughed as well.

Tell them that I had learned when the birds sing the sweetest: at the break of day and just after it Rains.

Tell them that just because someone seems like they're all put together, doesn't mean they are
and sometimes the brightest lights come from the most dangerous stars.

Tell them my biggest pet peeve was that my second toe was longer than my first,
And often on the days you wake up with no hope, they just get worse.

When it's over please tell them it wasn't all bad….

I just didn't have much help with the sad. But there wasn’t just bad, there was also the good.

Seasoned food, and
Starry skys
Moonlight night walks
A boy with blue eyes.

When it’s over tell them I wasn’t sad like they saw,
and by the end of it, I had given my all.

#depression #sadness #sad #good #happy #life