Spencer Smith

Spencer Smith May 2018

Anger

I stare at the cruel beast in my head with my mind's eye,
He blocks out the sun, making himself look like a total fright,
The muscle in my chest grow tight,
He turns me against everyone I've ever loved, however he might,

I feel the pressure on my relationships growing to a painful strain,
It causes an indescribable pain,
He tries to wrench me away from everything I love, he pours down reasons like rain,
I stare at the beast, as he transforms into a reasonable person, trying to best for me, trying to separate me from my pain.

But deep inside I know he's wrong,
I turn and walk out of the fog,
That has clouded my vision for years, I now know that the beast, is anger, and he I now know is a fraud.
He feeds me lies and hateful half-truths written on harmless little paper wads, sneaking them into my mind, oh so innocently.

I look now as I escape the fog and look into the sky, bright as the diamonds inside my loved one's eyes.

#anger #pain #fog #beast #ignoreit

Spencer Smith May 2018

Poetry

I read the words spelled on my screen,
They sheen with a sadness only poets can create.

My eye's gloss over with a wet sheen,
The beautiful way the words dance, they make my heart levitate.

We all need these words that pull out strings,
They make the pain fade, if only for a short space.

I urge you all to keep writing your beautiful poetry,
Because you all truly put a smile on my face.

#poets #poetry #smile #thankyou #keepgoing

Spencer Smith May 2018

Poems

I write to clear my head.
I write the sad thoughts I think in bed.

I try to release my feelings on paper, using ink, wielding a pen as a sword,
To slash the pain I feel inside with every word.

I use it as a shield against the raging attack of depression.
It takes a lot to make even that small confession.

The ache in my head recedes as if the ink is on the small table pen is taking the pain out of my fingertips, flowing on to paper, that I use as a shield.
I look at the paper, that holds the words I use to protect myself against the evil that is pain, I smile at my new poem to wield.

#sword #shield #depression #poem

Spencer Smith May 2018

You Are Beautiful.

You, yes you.
The one with the broken smile.
No, look up, your beautiful for who you are.
I don't care how you look, or where you came from,
You Are Beautiful.
Despite what others may say,
You Are Beautiful.
Even though you may feel blue,
You Are Beautiful.
Just listen to me through the pain.
You Are Beautiful.
Your gender, race, past, do not have any hold on you anymore because,
You Are Beautiful.
I know the voices may say something else but,
You Are Beautiful.
I know you may roll your eyes but truly I know,
You Are Beautiful.
You may look in the mirror and see a disgusting mess, but your not,
You Are Beautiful
You may feel like a mess, but look up,
You Are Beautiful.
Through the loss, through the pain, through the ups and downs,
You Are Beautiful.
You have done more than you think, don't hang your head,
You Are Beautiful.
Despite the mistakes you may have made, or the cuts on your wrist,
You Are Beautiful.
You may feel anger, sadness, pain, lost, hopeless, but you should feel like,
You Are Beautiful.
There's no disguising the fact, that,
You Are Beautiful.

This poem goes out to anyone struggling to find peace or hope.

#beautiful #uplifting #hope #youarebeautiful #lookup

Spencer Smith May 2018

Ocean

I hear the water splash on the shore,
The sound lures me to snore,
I watch the waves begging me to join them,
I wish I could, but the water is not to my anthem.

I feel the sand cooled by the afternoon chill,
I look and the sand, that has been made into a hill,
I climb to the top, to see the world,
From a vantage point to block out the cold.

I get to the top and watch the sun fall,
Into the waves, as I wish to do.
My eyelids grow heavy, I feed the temptation and lay down and sprawl,
Feeling the sun seep below the waves so blue.

I fall asleep to sound of the waves, gently rocking me to sleep.
Every temptation to weep,
Has gone, and seeped,
Into the ocean, that's singing a lullaby to me.

#ocean #sunset #sand #sleep #waves

Spencer Smith May 2018

Perfect

I trudge through the cold snow
Feeling it freeze scars, that cannot be seen with the eye
I think about the person who I used to own
But now is as far as the sky, above so high

I think of the bright silhouette
Her face painted in my darkest nights
I think about the way she would fret
When we made plans for two, I never understood her fright

She was perfect.
The smile she gave me when I told her she looked perfect.
I should have told her more.
But now her corpse lies in the earth, where she breathes no more.

She used to be the only one for me.
But now all I feel is misery.

#misery #sad #loss #perfect

Spencer Smith May 2018

Why?

I stare at the skies.
And I find myself asking why?
My vision is blurred.
My words are slurred.

I felt this coming on for years.
But never wanted to feel the tears.
I watched my best friend fade.
Into her death parade.

She raised me from when I was born.
But now for that, I must yearn.
For the loss of the wink in the stars.
And the feel of a mothers touch, now so far.

Why, oh why, must death take the ones we love the most.
And leave them with only the company of a post.
I regret not being there.
To help her through despair.

Why had I made this grave mistake?
A mothers touch so far away.
Why?

#mothers #loss #sadness #death #tears