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Joseph Koch Jul 2020
Am I awake?
This simulation feels so real
My every waking moment
Masks and hazmat suits fuel my fear
This ******* nightmare
Somebody get me out of here

I don't know what I'm saying
I just don't ******* sleep
They wait for me inside my dreams
Another **** stain
On some brand new sheets

Now In a few days
I'll be back on the street
Old holes holes in my socks
The same dirt on my jeans
In the back of my head
I know I'll never really leave

Wake me up again
Slice my skin
Take my blood
Push my medicine
Experience in hospital during Covid-19.
A few weeks and 2 major surgeries. I wrote this when I hadn't slept in over 5 full days.

The poem is about my state if mind during this particular hospital stay.
Joseph Koch Dec 2019
Our love burned hot like fire
Slowly it turned into ice
You don't want to be lonely
But baby, neither do I

You just don't want me

I'm done with this game
I'll turn off my brain
I'll hide all all of my pain
This has to end
I'm done with this game

There's just too much shame
I've shut down my brain
With nothing left to gain
I 've always loved you
You never felt the same
Joseph Koch Jun 2018
Are you okay?
Give me the details,
And I'm so sorry,
We should catch up soon!

Rinse,
Repeat.

This future was chosen for me

I'm on my own again,
I take a deep breath,
Then I close my eyes,
And once they open,
Everyone has vanished

Exhale

I feel it.
I feel something...
Pity, for myself.

Days and weeks,
Weeks and months,
Months to years,

The sympathy is temporary
Your abandonment is cruel,
Once one ends up all alone,
Thoughts of forgiveness prove
That I am a fool.
The only person who's going to be there for you is yourself
Joseph Koch Jun 2018
Abandon my most
salient connections

Prematurely,
Unexpected,

I stumble through a haze of gray to survive this inane existence,

Bask in the peak
of my artificial elation.
The cruel facade it is.
Feelings of contentment
slip away,

I slowly fade,
into the anguish of my reality,

Back into my world
Where all is gray
.

— The End —