Jonathan Nouse

Jonathan Nouse May 2018

I should've done that differently
I could've saved them if only I did this.
If only i would've known this. It wouldn't have played out the way it did.

**** this.

Jonathan Nouse May 2018

Anger

A strong emotion.
But is only secondary.
Anger is never the first emotion you feel-
It goes deeper.
You are sad or scared
Which makes you angry.
You're disappointed
Which makes you angry.
Anger. Is secondary.
So why do we allow it to consume us so badly?
And why is it **** near impossible to control?
Being sad leads to anger
Anger leads to sadness
Which leads to more anger
And transforms to depression.
I'm so angry at the thought of
Moving forward..

I'm angry at being depressed.
But I'm so depressed I don't want to go on
Which makes me angry.

Jonathan Nouse Apr 2018

Partnered musically

Melody and harmony work
-Together-
To make something beautiful.

They won't always be happy
Sometimes it will be sad
But as long as the two follow through
-Together-
Music is made.

Dont get ahead of your harmony. Work together

#music #musically #partnered #relationship #love #compromise

Jonathan Nouse Apr 2018

My prayer

Our heavenly father
Who art thou up above
Please send this prayer
To the one that I love.

Please send a message
Let her know I still care
Also please remind her
If she needs you, you'll be there.

Let her know that I'm sorry
For the things I hath done.
I regret my decisions.
All except one.

I do not regret meeting her.
It was the greatest gift you gave.
I know now I ruined that
And my marriage, only you can save.

But if it's not ment to be
I will no longer be sad
For a sign has been given
I know you'll make me glad.

And if it's not meant to be
I ask one thing more
Please watch over her
And guide her to your shore

I know I've lost faith
Aswell as my hope too.
But both can be fixed
Only, by only you

My life if in your hands
Do with it what you will
I will trust in you forever
To guide me and be still.

These flavors I will ask
Again and again
Till my prayers have been answered
In jesus name,

Amen.

Prayers that will need to be answered.

#religious #hope #faith #forgiveness #rememberness #love #compasion #christian

Jonathan Nouse Apr 2018

Busy work

Busy
Busy
Busy.

Work
Work
Work.

Dont think about the bad things.

Just stay busy.
Just keep working.
Till you die.

Its hard to stay busy when work is slow

#busy #work #sadness #depression #death #sweet #release #regret

Jonathan Nouse Apr 2018

Wounds

When you get a cut
You need to treat it.
And tend to it
Until it heals.

Ignore the fact it exists
And it becomes infected
And begins to spread
until that body part
Needs to be removed.

Ive left my wounds untreated
Far too long.
Now look at me.
Im a living zombie.
With a few bandages on me.

My body.
My mind.
My soul.
Permanently scarred
Because of these wounds.

But as long as i get treatment
These scars will be a reminder
Never to cut myself again.
Never to make the same mistake twice.

But they need to heal first.
So lets treat
These wounds.

Dont cut too deep

#wounds #scars #emotions #emotional #sad #forgiveness #sorrow #regret

Jonathan Nouse Apr 2018

Questions unanswered

Can I just know im not being used?

Can you grant me the satisfaction for my mind that im not wasting my time?

Can I please have the feeling that im not still in your life for the benefits that are reaped through me?

I just want to know if you still care.

And if you do care, is it enough to try again?

They say time heals all wounds but i feel mine growing as time goes by because im left with questions unanswered.

Can we just be on the same page for once in this struggle?

Can my mind just shut its ******* mouth with the anxiety and fear it feeds to me?

Thoughts that you say you need space to heal but in reality its because you dont want to deal with any of this.

You dont want to deal with me.

Can i be treated like a human and not a waste of time?

Can i be seen as a human and not old memories?

Can my mind be put at ease? For these questions unanswered are starting to eat me alive.

Can these questions be answered, please.

Again another personal poem that i hope she reads. My mind is starting to eat me alive

#questions #unanswered #please #answer #them