There once was a boy,
Lonely and stripped of all joy.
He burnt his skin,
As his soul withered within.

As the days passed,
He coveted for the days that'd be his last.
And all his acquaintances shrugged,
But it was his grave they dug.

All those nights alone in a room,
On parchment pieces he sculpted his doom.
And with prowess he slipped into the unknown,
Into the hell where youth and laughter go.

I reminisce on those last few months a lot,
And I wallow in things but this I really overthought.
I just want to say I'm sorry it took me so long to visit,
And I wish I saw you eat that meal; I can't believe I missed it.

I know you'd of hated this pity I stew in,
But you meant so much it hurts within.
My eyes get heavy when I look at your picture,
There's so many things I'd wish I'd let you lecture.

If there's one last thing I would say,
It's that I hope you're safe and heaven is okay.
That I pray you're smiling and are proud every second,
And everyday is one day closer to being with you,
In heaven.

i'm struggling to find hope in my humdrum day-to-day,
i'd be lovingly thankful just for this poison to be cast away.
i'm struggling to find light on the darkest of days,
i'd be grateful for a heartily whisper telling me it'll be okay.

i'm struggling today and especially tonight,
it's a looper pedal kicked down as i wonder what happy's like.
i'm struggling in ways i'd never thought were right,
it's a distorted future where I breakdown in mirror fights.

i'm struggling and i really need help,
i just wallow and swallow the pain i keep to myself.
i'm struggling for words to explain my health,
i just endure and lure more demons onto my trophy shelf.

i'm struggling to plan my death;
i'm struggling to find my breath;
i struggled once to end my life;
but now in mortal death...
...i've earned my slice.

i find myself crying on the floor,
with not a soul by my side.
i've a habit of staying in doors,
i dont believe in love anymore.

i dig my nails deep into my skin,
to try find veritable love within.
to my chagrin its just senseless gore,
i dont believe in love anymore.

when i fall theres no-one there by side,
no-one there to tell me things will be fine.
so ill stay inside;
ill lose my mind;
ill lay on the floor and ill cry every night.

ill say once more;
heartbroken on the floor;
that i just dont believe in love anymore.

I fantasise of death everyday,
I pray to sleep and pass away eloquently.
I wish not to wake nor to cry,
I wish only for peace and the right to die.

I get tired of days as quick as they end,
I left my life along with some old friends.
I get a sinking feeling where my heart once lay,
I believe it's my soul telling me "It's okay".

"It's okay to hate life,
It's okay to want to die,
You just miss feeling the feeling of feeling alright".
"It's okay, but stay strong,
It's okay to move on,
But if you don't at least try then...".

I think I understand it now, life that is,
How easy it is to lose the sense of control in all this.
We're trapped like animals and on a conveyor belt,
Awaiting judgement from a consuming generation, but hell,
I'm guiltily part of that as well.

I think I get how people get lost in the numbness of judgement and consumption,
We're all consumers consuming humour and a humans convulsions.
That repetitive nature of the newest generations has change the world,
No longer do we fight the same fight and stand beside the typical Gerald.
We look to be hurt by others and take a leap of ill-faith into broken people,
Expecting them to catch us when they can't even find love to love themselves; never mind other people.

We hurt ourselves to pause the conveyor belt,
We harm ourselves to draw blood and feel pain and escape our modern hell.
We snap like thin hard wax and damage our perfect bodies,
When we're so powerful; we could revolt and fill the lobbies.

We can make a change, stop the automatic production,
But in a modern world, we're the creators of our own destruction.