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Isabella Nov 2020
There is an emptiness beside me
A numbness I can’t shake
It tries to envelop my limp body
Embracing my heart until it breaks
Darkness swallows everything
I feel my soul begin to ache
I am cold but feel the heat
Was there never a time when I was safe
Isabella Nov 2020
Emotions are rather complicated, I suppose
What is this irksome tickle in my heart?
It is not sadness, nor is it anger, or even grief
Not quite guilt or confliction
Perhaps a sort of blend of the two
It feels rather uncomfortable, like an itching inside
That is barely out of reach
Like a blur in the corner of my vision
But no matter how much I turn my head, I still can't see it clearly
This feeling seems to twist my stomach
And press on my heart
And pound in my mind
A constant pressure that can't be placed
I wonder if this puzzling emotion
Is something similar to emptiness
A hollowness that is unfamiliar
Sinking in a sea of scattered thoughts
Far too deep to retrieve now
And now
All I am left with
Is a perplexing feeling swirling everywhere inside me
A sort of apathy
That can't be named
Isabella Nov 2020
Just know that my heart wants what it wants
Just know from the start I want what I want
Just know that so far I get what I want
Just know that your heart won’t slip from my arms

I know that your eyes they cry and they cry
I know that you hide beneath a disguise
I know what’s inside your baby blue eyes
I know you’ll be alright and you’ll always be mine
Isabella Nov 2020
3
I could never quite place my finger
On what drew me nearer
It wasn’t quite your smile
Nor your sarcastic sighs

Beneath your laugh’s charm
And your comforting warmth
Under your sweet impatience
And known reputation

I notice the disguise
Which hides your broken eyes
I see the tender pain
You try to shove away

I watch the truth unfold
Now you’re distant and cold
I wish you could just know
I see potential in your soul

I wait for you to trust me
Maybe some day you’ll love me
But for now I will settle
With trying to know you better

I love you for your heart
It isn’t buried far
I love you for your mind
I hope one day you might be mine
Isabella Nov 2020
I suppose my biggest worries are yet to come
Which is perhaps why I pretend I have none
I wait for the day when my body grows numb
When my heart will be broken, innocence undone
Isabella Nov 2020
I promise to you
My soul is at peace
My mind is at ease

I promise
My hands are steady
My heart is ready

I promise
I can finally be brave
I’m willing to be saved

I promise
I love myself
Before loving anyone else

I promise
To you
I am passionate
And true
I am confident
Through and through

I promise
To me
I am brilliant
Full of dreams
I feel radiant
And free

I promise
These heavy words
With a tone
So very sure
With intent
So very pure
But with a pain
That can’t be cured

I simply don’t matter
My last hope has shattered
Can’t death come along faster
I simply can’t last here

Yet I promise to you
That I’ll be alright
As my eyes fill with tears
I say I’ll make it through the night
But behind my back
Barely out of sight
I take my *******
And cross them tight
Isabella Nov 2020
Words still unspoken
Hearts remain broken
Ever since the moment
I was not chosen
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