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Josh Jul 2017
I've half a bottle of cider
In my bedroom at home
I'll drink it, when I go back
I'll write some more
Then doubtless, switch it up, to ***
It tastes like ****
But it's a hit
And the closest I'll get to a gun
Twice as lethal, thrice as slow
It is my remedy
For all of those evil thoughts
And no one loving me
It seems, when I am drinking
My brain shuts the **** up
It lets me write
It lets me dream
And I've not thrown my guts up
Josh Jul 2017
Human existence is a detritus of emotion and we seek to immortalise that. I see the beauty in scratching your name into a ruined castle. So something of you remains. Scars remain but kisses don't. I would write my name on big bens face to be the man who did.

Live each day knowing you may die. Drink, eat, spend. Enjoy life with the sole goal of pleasure. Go out like a firework. Whether you illuminate the world for others or catch them in the blaze it doesn't matter.
Josh Jul 2017
My skin looks old, i feel it in my bones
I am growing weary, can you hear me
Can you give my eyes the gleam, can you help me sleep and dream
Can you bring back smiles, memories playing over to laughter
Instead of remembering every self inflicted disaster
My mind grows weary of constant fights, i just want to sleep at night
I've seen, too many times, the sun dancing with the moon at midnight
The way the moon glances at the night, gets me every time
Even the dark has someone, like the day has the sun
When i ask where is mine they say, your life has just begun
But if this is youth where is the fun, has it gone already
Is it time to grow up, has summer flown by
I am soon to the grave
Josh Jul 2017
You are not a diamond
Not something to be locked in a case
Stared at
You are not a diamond
You are a rock, you are stability
You are bricks and mortar
I would build a home with you
You are not a diamond, hard and cold
You are breakfast in the morning
Kisses before falling asleep
You are not a diamond
Not some shiny stone
You do not reflect light
You emit it, you are the sun with a smile
A star that laughs
You are not a diamond
From my self published book "ivory and gold" available on Amazon.
Josh Jul 2017
It is with heavy heart that I should wish such passion gone
To have my heart see that she is not the one
I know that how I feel, is but a bright burning candle
Soon to burn out
And well that it should too
For my mind is all afire with the ecstatic pain of you
I wax poetical because I cannot speak a simple truth
I know and am painfully aware
That the knowledge of such passions on my part
Would drive you from my company
And remove me from your good graces and graceful heart
Josh Jul 2017
I tore off my wings
When I fell, for you
And to this day
I do not envy birds
  Jul 2017 Josh
Underneath
If only I had a chance.
To do something meaningful.
To save a life
Or inspire greatness.

But I'm not that kind of person.

I'm not ambitious enough
To do something meaningful.
To make a difference.
To have the world remember
Not me, but what I did.

I'm not helpful enough
To save a life.
The world is too full anyway.
I'd never make enough sense
To even save anyone.

I'm not good enough
To inspire greatness.
I'm not a good person.
And I hate public view
So I don't think about standing up.

I'm not that person.

I haven't been since lower school.
When I still dreamed big.
When I still loved wonder.
When I was afraid of storms
And the boogeyman lived close by.

That person no longer exists.
If only I could go back
To make sure that person lived.
But by doing that
I'd erase me. And everything I am.
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