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 Apr 2018 Illya Oz
Nicole
While I likely have no rhythm
and tend to trip over my feet
that would hold back a dance.

While I have debilitating anxiety
that highlights others’ stares
I may still give it a chance.

No, see, the reason I won’t dance
has way more to do with my body
and the fact that I’m trans.

As I move through the world
I feel the weight of my identity
in both physical and mental distress.

Of course everyone has baggage
that doesn’t stop them from jiving
but not everyone has to carry it on their chest.

Dancing requires movement of my entire frame
but the person I see in my head
isn’t the one that light reflects.

How can I move without highlighting
the feminine figure my clothes conceal?

How can I jive
while hiding how my chest wiggles?

Can they tell?
Girl?
Guy?
What do they see?

The questions anchor my body to the ground
So I cannot move.
I cannot dance.
 Apr 2018 Illya Oz
lo
take a moment to point out a few positive things you love about your body, the positives can make the negatives seem just a little less important and sometimes thats enough.
2. take a look into the past at how far youve come.
3. surround yourself with people who understand or may be going through the same thing, i promise theyll do their best to help you get through this.
4. focus on the amazing things you and your body can do.
5. take a time out, slow everything down and just think about yourself for a little while. take breaks and just focus on breathing.
6. write, write, write. ive always found it easier to write how i feel than to say it.
7. be easy on yourself, please.
8. take a deep breath.
9. avoid spaces or people that will bring you down, they arent good for you.
10. allow yourself to feel, everything, the good and bad feelings but dont let them overpower you
11. just take a minute for yourself, let yourself breathe and remember: what youre feeling is okay, and it will get better.
Fine delicate wings
Of Organza,
Chiffon,
Satin and Lace,

Flowing ever so gently -
A heavenly dance
Portraying such elegance
And grace.

Velvet hues
Of Crimson,
Majenta,
Turquoise,
And Teal,

Breathtakingly exquisite,
Out of this world--
Ethereal.

Dainty,
Magically enchanting--
Incredibly surreal.

An amazing spectacle
Of extraordinary--
A wondrous delight;
Uniquely rare
And very, very, real.

~Butterfly Wings.
By Lady R.F. (C)2018 ⚘
 Apr 2018 Illya Oz
Hannah
fear takes hold
same thoughts that
caused infinite nights
of crying, tears

i was having hope
of a future where
i was happy
i was comfortable

too used to that thought
never considered that
it could disappear
please don't go

a year without you
my love, is a year
without life

and i'll be ******
if i lose 5 years of life
**** im **** scared now and on the verge of tears and my playlist happens to play all the sad songs ****** i dont wanna sink back into a place where i dont wanna live, it's easy for me to tell myself to think happy, it's another thing to actually be happy and want to live, that takes a lot. i haven't wanted to live in so long, i finally do, and im scared its going to slip again. not many things/people make me feel this way, you're one.
 Feb 2017 Illya Oz
Ramin Ara
phoenix
 Feb 2017 Illya Oz
Ramin Ara
Hope
Rises
Like
A
Phoenix
From
  The
Ashes
Of
Shattered
Dreams
swarming in to burrow
beneath the skin*
this a plague of much
chagrin

the locust band
had moved in
with a harmfulness
in its whirling spin

they'd not been detected
by the radar's pin
so unsuspecting were
those who dwelt within

as they stayed
we'd hear but their din
that was full on
regarding the clamorous tin

of the epidemic
which swarmed in
there'd be no possibility  
*for the kin to gain a win
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