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(Trans Reasons) Why I Can't Dance
While I likely have no rhythm
and tend to trip over my feet
that would hold back a dance.
While I have debilitating anxiety
that highlights others’ stares
I may still give it a chance.
No, see, the reason I won’t dance
has way more to do with my body
and the fact that I’m trans.
As I move through the world
I feel the weight of my identity
in both physical and mental distress.
Of course everyone has baggage
that doesn’t stop them from jiving
but not everyone has to carry it on their chest.
Dancing requires movement of my entire frame
but the person I see in my head
isn’t the one that light reflects.
How can I move without highlighting
the feminine figure my clothes conceal?
How can I jive
while hiding how my chest wiggles?
Can they tell?
What do they see?
The questions anchor my body to the ground
So I cannot move.
I cannot dance.
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