Lost between the lines.
All I do is cry.

Why do I even try?

These thoughts won’t leave me alone.
My mind is overflowed.

Am I dreaming?

I can’t control these urges
Will I relapse once again?

All it takes is one cut
For my soul to be lost

Blood drips down my leg
Was it worth the pain?

I am two months clean
I plan to keep it that way

Love to give
Hope to have
I wish for both of these

But for now,
I will get out of bed
I will try today
I will try tomorrow
And everyday after until I feel joy to share with others and myself

Today you mentioned a video,
I hadn't seen it before.
You hastily pulled it up on YouTube.
You handed me an earbud and hit play.

We watched that video,
Then another,
Then another,
Then another.
It seems like we haven't laughed that much together in a long time.

Then you pulled up a another video,
I'd seen this one before,
You'd shown it to me a while ago.

But I didn't mind,
I like spending time with you,
I like laughing at dumb videos,
And talking about memes we've seen,

So I didn't say anything.

I just let it play.

Loosen the noose.
Put the pills back in their bottle.
Place the knife in the drawer.
Don't write that suicide note.

Live another day.
See where life may take you tomorrow.

I don't need your love...
I need consistency.

I don't need ***...
I need stability.

I don't need you...
I need me.

Your heart is heavy,
But you shine so bright.
Look for beauty inside.
You will survive.

You have the strength within,
and words of wisdom to share.

censored

Its been forever.
We don't talk much anymore.
I kind of miss it.