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the scent of a rose
the light of a sun
the glowing from a moon
the dust from a star
the tablecloth on your table
the tree's roots cutting into the earth
a world behind a window
the rain sounding from comfort
sea salt spraying coarse sand
an aesthetic
what a bore
I hate you,
the way You
make my Heart
twist, dagger in my
chest, sinking, sinking,
my lungs slowly filling, Your
smile the only thing that can save
me. I Love You I'm So Incredibly Sorry
please come back, because without You, I
am Nothing: You are my sun, my moon, and
All My Stars, but I am so tired, and if I could find
a way to push You Out Of My Mind for good, I would,
and how I wish You were Dead, because I am screaming,
but No One Can Hear Me.

Never
Good
Enough.

NeverGoodEnoughNeverGoodEnoughNeverGoodEnough,
I Hate You, my throat burning with Vivid, Unfiltered Hate
for You, every time You Let Me Down, my mind
already bound with your empty promises, my
dear, can't You see? My heart beats for You.
And when You take me in your tender
embrace, slowly putting me back
together, I can finally breathe.
With You, the world rights
on its Axis. Please don't
Hate me, I'm so sorry
I Love You.
 Dec 2018 Hello Daisies
Casey
i get *******
my brain gets tangled
i dive head first
my heart gets strangled
 Dec 2018 Hello Daisies
James
Sounds like New York,
That noise that comes out,
Out of her mouth,
Sounds like New York

You live across the bridge,
And we meet there each day,
I just need to say,
You sound like New York

We’ll shoot clay pigeons in the dark,
We’ll talk to John Henry,
We’ll watch Submarines,
We’ll share a bag of toffee

Sounds like New York,
Sounds like New York,
Sounds like New York,

She sounds like New York
again
If you believe in love
You will stay
No abandonment
No shame
Hold your heart steady
People aren't toys to play
Royalty to be seen
Treated like kings and queens
Putting troubled minds at ease
united
Even though you’re  the reason behind my pain,

I want you by my side when the clouds come,

Because the hurt will hide the rain.
I can't drink or smoke
when you leave

I leave the windows open
tempting a breeze
to bring in the scent
of flowers and summer
rain

They remind me
of you

the way that rain
falls onto a flower
and drips, drips
down into the
soil

the yellows
and oranges of
the petals
burn

our faces reflect
in the dirt and I know
that we'll never be
clean again
 Dec 2018 Hello Daisies
Ally Ann
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
I am haunted:
Not by poltergeist,
but by my unlived lives.
Parallel universes
won't ever speak,
they took an oath
to keep from me.
I have words and voices
humming in my head
that will never be met
outside of my bed.
I have to accept
I cannot have it all,
I have to accept
knowing nothing at all.
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