Hello Daisies

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Afraid

Numb deep within
Can't feel my feet
Up to my heart
Do i exist?

Anytime i feel
It hurts
Everyrhing races
i am afriad

I can't remeber
Ever belonging
Not in a social sense
Or being real

I get too tired
I feel as a child
Seeing monsters
Giant man eating
Lobsters
Demons running amok
Every breath of mine is bad
Luck

I swear to god
I belong in a mental institute
Im not real
Are you?

I'm alone
Ive been alone forever
And ever more
I'll be alone

My life is flashing
It's all been so quick
And I've hated every second
Of my breathing

I miss my mother
I miss my brothers
My whole family
I think played a big whammy
They must be fake too
My scared eyes sometimes see
Through

Theres a veil you see
Doctors say it's anxiety
Thats a lie to keep me busy
We aren't real

I'm so scared
I can't describe this fear
It never leaves me
I'm shivering and afraid
The monsters coming to consume me

Look hard enough
You'll see real mosnters
Slenderman and demons
Theyre all real
Mocking us

Im still a little girl
Sad and afriad of the world
All i see is fear and creatures
Lurking with no ****** features
No one will hold me
My soul is ******* empty

Is god real
Why won't he answer me
He probabaly is around
And ignoring me
That is the theme of my
Reality

Can someone just hold me
Let me forget my dark reality
Im so ******* afraid
I must be extremely brave
I see demons larger then i can comprehend
Yet i go out and still stand

If someone held me
And didn't leave
Maybe for ahwile
I would feel real
And not as a scared
Child

I get exhausted and dossociate from realoty

#anxiety #fear #child #lost #dissociation #depression #lonely #sad

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Girly feelings

Love is fake
Romance is dead
I don't like affection
Don't touch me I'll get mad

relationships are a joke
Emotions are too girly
Don't need help I'll do it myself
marriage is not shiny and pearly

I won't bother with you
I know you won't like me
Stop talking to me
I refuse to feel this giddy

You're really cute
But i sure don't care
Don't look at me like that
Now I'm twirling my hair

I'm not a stupid school girl
You're like all the others
You're happy to see me
Why are my eyes staring in wonder

Why did i drive out here
It wasn't just to see you
Wow I'm stupid
Aww you're happy to see me too

Now I'm driving home
Listening to taylor swift
Heart skipping about

Should i enjoy this?

I really dont believe in romance. Espeically not for myself. But i secretly crave it and think its beautiful
Stupid boy keeps making me blush. I think i like him and i hate it.

Hope he likes me 2 tho

#crush #boys #girls #love #emotions #cute #sweet #sad

Hello Daisies Mar 2019

Ignored

Im talking
Always talking
Nobody is ever listening

I start screaming
They scream back
Be quiet

They won't hear
The pain and fear
I need help

They tell me they're busy
Stop being needy
Stop being greedy

I hide my emotions
I lock down
Then they ask why the frown

I'm writing
I keep writing
Nobody's reading

I'm bleeding
I keep bleeding
Nobody's seeing

I'm dying
I keep dying
Nobody's coming

im used to being ignored but it hurts more everyday. My own family does it like it's just alright.
Noone wants to hear me talk lol

#life #sad #depressed #alone

Hello Daisies Mar 2019

Magic

Marry me
Marry me
My shining beauty

Dance with me
Dance with me
On this spinning merry go round

I am a fairie
And you are a wizard
Together we make magic
In a world thats a blizzard

Shine with me
Shine with me
On top the moonlit sea

Run away
Run away
Together into the forest

I'll twinkle my wings
As you wave your wand
I'll never lose your reflection
In this glistening pond

❤

#magic #fairie #love #fairy #tail

Hello Daisies Mar 2019

World

Hello there world
I wake up to you
Everyday

Soemtimes my dreams
Get in the way
This bed i want to stay

I awake and head off
Let come what may
Keep denying im afraid

won't let my body fall
Or sway
The world keeos going day to day

Im miserable
Im sad
Im beaten down
It's getting bad

Yet i must keep going
I don't know why
Every second i start to cry

I guess I'm still holding on
To some hidden hope
That I'll wake up
Smiling without lying
Before i say goodbye to this world

ayo

Hello Daisies Mar 2019

Feeling

Feeling
Feeling
I can't stop

I feel sad
I feel mad
I feel bad

It won't stop
It never stops
I'm getting tired

I feel cold
I feel old
I feel sold

All these emotions
Keep piling on top
If i must keep feeling

Why can't it be happy

I may be drunk

#emotions #sad #lost #angry

Hello Daisies Mar 2019

Dear father

Dear father
I love you
I say it everyday
It must be true

I've been hurting for years
Finding love in people
Who only wanted to use me

I've been blaming myself
I've been blaming everyone else
Never admitting the truth

I don't hate anyone
I promised myself i wouldn't become
Someone who could

My memories haunt me
Every day you taunted me
And disregarded my feelings

I sat in a corner
I was only a child
Your eyes were wild

Wild with anger
I always felt in danger
Never for a moment at ease

Yet i wonder where i get anxiety
You only did as you pleased
You claim you love me

I tremble around men
I tremble around loud noises
I never knew what joy was

I heard you yelling
And all the evil things you were telling
To my mother everynight

You ****** wished i didn't exist
I took too much food from the shopping list
I was only but a burden in your way

Yet you cry for us to stay
I was your precious little girl
Once told me i was your whole world

Then you snapped
You never came back
You broke me apart

Tore apart my whole heart
I still can't admit it
The person i hate the most is

Because i don't hate
I won't be like you
Clouding yourself in anger

Every broken memory i have
Is me crying while you laugh
You never did encourage me

If you did i can't remember
God i feel like a traitor
For saying how i truly feel

I need to let it out
Yes i dare to pout
You won't shame me anymore

Dear father,
I hate you

I didnt like writing or feeling this but ive been feeling this my entire life. I love my father but i hate him as well for all tbe stuff he put my family through. Still.

#family #love #hate #father #pain #hurt