you are cigarette sticks just lit,
you are a fresh wound on an old stitch.
a disorder spun out of control,
watching as madness takes hold - clutch
breaks - what happens next - your
life begins to unfold. creases form like
scars that never quite leave, mistakes
we break, we drown and we bleed.
i can't live without them is the greatest
lie: love kills you from the inside out,
toxic chemicals rampage fire through
your veins: hooked, hooked, hooked
lined and sunk; funny how we continue
to live with it only because we die with it.

he hungers for the fruit of the vine
he thirsts for the supper of the earth
his blue skies face crumbles
when he sees the dead field
fragments of his bravery litter the sand
while he sits in the harvest field
moaning in the tilled earth
fingers entwined in the roots of dead growth
the bounty of the earth is gone
leaving only this desolate dirt
his lament loud and wild
reaches her
and she is compelled to join him there
naked to the whip of the sun
leashed to the soil with thin golden chains
where they both lay mourning
like two insane birds
prisoners of the open sky
longing for the freedom of dirt

And if the piano breaks it's because each time you kiss me it feels like I've taken a bullet to the brain.
Today, I looked into your eyes and saw nothing but forever.
I think that maybe, if you took my hand, we could fight infinity.

I've never believed in God, but ****, I think you're my religious awakening; THIS is a baptismal revival.
I think I was dead until the day we met- you give me life.
Whispers: "safe, safe, safe."
She strikes a key to play me out of tune.

What does she look like in the dark?
What do you wear when you're alone? (I wear the black pendulum)
Seastar, starfish, lover, oh how I'm suffocating on my anguish.
Convince me to forgive him, and then I will try and forgive myself for all that he has broken.
For the ***** nights, the rancid sheets, ten years of filth- it would take an eternity to scrub out my stains- ugly.
Whispers: "****, ****, ****."
Screams: "daddy please, daddy no, daddy no, stop it!"
It's hushed up by the sounds of the broken piano- the unforgiving black sacrament.

Steel and skin, forgiveness and pain.
You can only hide for so long; sleepmonger, deathmonger, counting sheep. When will these childhood nightmares end?! Oh.

So, 1, 2, 3, 4, who's that looming at my door?
5, 6, 7, 8, he calls it love, she calls it ****.
9, 10, 11, 12, he put her though ten years of hell.
13, 14, 15, 16, who could love her scars- so distinct?
17, 18, 19, 20, fall for me; so sick of running.

(a.m.) 05/05/14