We sat at your favorite Persian cafe.
My hand wrapped around the coffee mug while the other interlaced with yours, somehow feeling warmer.
We walked out that day into the toasty September air, you looked at me and your eyes were as brown.
Your pearly smile filling my heart up.
And as we stopped right in front of the crystal blue sea and my toes met the water, you wrapped your hands around me blanketing me with comfort.
And at that very moment as I leaned back into you I remembered just what you reminded me of.
You reminded me of sipping on a cup of warm latte on a chilly december night.

I miss the younger me, she who was comfortable wearing whatever she liked.
I miss the younger me who believed in prince charming and a heartfelt love.
I miss the younger me who craved to grow up and make my own choices.
I miss younger me who was allowed to cry when she fell down.
I miss the younger me who found everything interesting.
I miss the younger me who had hope for a better and brighter future.
I miss the younger me.

Dear friend,
You, who I have never spoken to
You who I can never possibly speak to
You whom I shed tears for this morning
How have you been?
Has anyone asked you how you are feeling lately?
Had anyone noticed your absence?
Are these questions getting you tired?
I believe so
Afterall these questions murdered you, literally
These questions who do not understand the importance of life have left you strangled and dead at such a young age.
So, dear friend, I hope you are happier.
and dear friend, I promise to make your absence to good use.

Water rushed down his throat almost as fast as the waves that hit them.
His vision blurred  but he could see her face clear as day, smiling.
It was then he noticed that her smile wasn't a happy one it was sorrowful.
It was asking, begging really for him to hold on.
But his fingers had other aims.
His salty tears became one with the ocean as his wrinkly numb fingers slip off his only chance of survival.
"Please, help" he cried but to no avail.
No avail as they claimed they couldn't hear him. They claimed they couldn't hear the thousands pleading.
They couldn't hear because they weren't listening.
They were too caught up in their own filthy agenda.
They were too caught up making their hands ***** to "build houses" in which these loud people would not get to live in.

I walk down the lane of misery for the last time this year
Reminiscing my failures
I watch my hard work float away like my lovers who promised to stay.
The self-doubt however lingers
The confidence diminishing like the seconds to a new year
The new year of little significance
For we all know we will never change
We will face the same doubts
We will cry for the same reason
We will fight the same battle
and we will never learn
Not this time, not this year, not this new year

That night the air smelt like cotton candy
The lights a kaleidoscope
I could taste the saltiness of the air
My toes burning from the warm sand
I remembered everything that day
Especially you
Your eyes sparkled like those fairy lights
Your lazy smile, so effortless
Your soft brown hair tousled up by the wind or my hands I couldn't tell
And in that moment it was like everything except for you went out of focus like in a new HD camera.

Everyone fails, right? Wrong.
No one is allowed to fail, not in my house
Failure is a sin, not a stepping stone.
Failure is a curse, a profanity
Failure kills
and maybe that's why I want to fail so badly