Lexi - Hello Poetry

Jun 2018

Dagen Kipling

You’re my morning cup
of black coffee.
A taste of reality
with that bitter bite.
Finding the beauty in
the harsh flavor.
You are not perfect.

-But you are, to me.

[DK]

#coffee #morning #happy #love #life #reality #perfect

Jun 2018

Denxai Mcmillon

Save me

I'm fighting tears
like
the knights of lore fought dragons
I'm a turret of emotions
The demons under my bed
are reaching up and holding me by my throat as I sleep
Forcing me to dream of the good days of old
Forcing me to face my fears for the future
I wander the streets late at night
A slight limp from the broken bone in my foot.
I'm self destructive
Why would I let myself heal
when I know I'm hurting everyone I love.
I can't breathe again.
The ball and chain on my ankle is cutting deep.
The white noise I found an escape in isn't enough anymore
The voices are coming back.
My border line personality disorder
is burning bridges
While I desperately drag my past as I try and ***** the flames.
I'm reaching for buckets of water
But dumping gasoline
Burn, baby, burn

Jun 2018

Laura

Contemplation

Sometimes
I just want to die

not really,
but really

I'm just wanting an escape.
Wanting to leave this place
Leave the people
Leave the stress

I don't want any of it
Don't need anybody
just one
that's it

But I couldn't take him with me
He deserves better

I don't have any friends.
Don't get along with my parents.

I feel alone.
So just let me do it.
Let me go.

My wrists are already scarred.
My cheeks are already tear-streaked.
My will is already almost gone.
So just let me go.

#mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #bpd #ptsd #bulimia #suicidalthoughts

Jun 2018

Nivine Nahli

bpd

Pain will never leave me.
It lingers into my skin,
Leaving aches all over my body.
I’ve become fragile and thin.

Some days I’m the sun,
Other days I’m just pure darkness.
There is no way I could outrun,
The feeling of being heartless.

I beg you to stay by my side,
I question your love for me.
I threaten to leave you behind,
Screaming in pain, don’t leave me.

I interrogate my own existence,
Wondering why and how I’m still here.
I woke up with so much resilience,
For once, not a single fear.

That won’t last long,
In a few minutes I’ll be someone new.
I know, there’s something wrong.
But I wish you had a clue.

Living with BPD.

#bpd #mental #health #pain #sorrow #heartache #confusion #love

Jun 2018

Chalsey Wilder

Gun Trigger

Sitting on the bathroom floor with a gun in your hand
Knees pulled up to your chest
Your head rests on your knees
Your shoulders shaking cause you're laughing and crying
Gun to the side of your head
"Are you gonna do it?"
Find the sweet release when the bullet leaves the barrel of the gun and enters your brain

Click

The gun's empty
I am not dying
The gun's unloaded
I do this every time
Never strong enough to take the bullet
And never strong enough to let anyone see me like this
Always weak enough to be messed up like this
*Always thinking, always wishing I put a bullet in

Wow. This is how I imagine myself at 23 and I'm still depressed and suicidal too when I am.
I hate it...

#depressed #thinking #guns #wishing #bullet #23 #trigger

Jun 2018

Shay

Borderline Personality Disorder

I am BPD.
I am the demon that possesses your mind,
I am the ghost of all you want to leave behind.
I am the monster that will make you unstable,
The voice in your head making you suicidal.
I am your heart making your emotions intense,
I am your mind, muddled and making no sense.
I am your brain making you neurotic,
With the perfect balance of a handful of psychotic.
I am your self-esteem making you feel worthless,
I will make sure you feel that you have no purpose.
I am your impulsiveness making you act reckless;
Your need to harm yourself is becoming endless.
I am your soul feeling neglected,
You feel it very deeply because you need to be protected.
I am your extreme paranoia,
Making you live in a shell, I’m a merciless destroyer.
I am your fear of rejection, you will outburst at the slightest disaffection.
So, I am BPD and I will ruin your life,
I will cover you in scars made by the blade of a knife.

#depression #illness #sadness #depressed #mental #bpd #mentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder